Hi. I hope this is in the right forum. I’m so confused. I grew up Catholic. I haven’t been a practicing Catholic for a while now. I want to return to the Church, but I have doubts. One side of me says it’s probably satan giving me the doubts because he doesnt want me to be involved again. Maybe he feels I would be too good of a Catholic The other side of me says that maybe the devil isn’t real and my doubts are valid :\ I know most of you here are Catholic so it’s not like anyone is going to tell me not to be Catholic. But I’d still like to see what you all have to say.
I was away from the church and then called back via a person who showed me how to read the Bible … first time I ever used it despite being cradle Catholic. I learned things and decided the “faith” actually made sense and was compatible with my beliefs about science, I bought the Bible and followed along with the person (Fred Price, from Los Angeles) until I came back to the Church.
But then I thought I was better than everyone else and made it known by reciting some of the prayers “a bit loudly” and then falling conspicuously silent on certain parts I didn’t agree with. I thought this was apropos because I wanted to stick “pure” in what I believed, and I thought I knew better.
Well, St. Paul did a number on me that made me choke on all those “fallen silent” words I didn’t pronounce. He said, a) I should consider acting like the people I’m around, (1 Cor 9:19-23) and b) if I think I know better than them, that itself is evidence that I don’t know as I should. (1 Cor 8:2) So I quit being a pain and participated humbly – at least on the outside because I still wasn’t ready to “Leggo my Eggo” yet. (ego … lol)
Then over 15 years later, in 2001, I found out there was much more to Church than dogma, mythology, behavior codes, etc.
Why don’t you come on back to the Church. Ideally, or course, confession and Eucharist, but at LEAST check out some of the things I suspect you may not know exist – after all I didn’t know and I thought I knew stuff.
Thank you both. Your prayers mean a lot to me. I want to come back so bad, what is stopping me then? I tend to be an all or nothiing kind of person. So when I read something from a Catholic that I disagree with, I tend to think, “Oh I don’t think I can be Catholic”. :\ Doesn’t make a lot of sense, I know. In my head, there is an arguement going on, like the devil on one shoulder and the angel on the other Maybe if I can just get myself to confession and to Mass, things will feel a lot more clear.
Don’t worry, God will lead you the right way. You should start by praying and asking for guidance, and talking to a priest. And you should go to an Easter mass! God bless you, I will be praying for you.
lol thanks Alan and Dom/Carol i am feeling tense and stressed right now. i want to go to confession. I called the parish and the secretary said that I should be able to catch the Priest who will be there around 4:30. Right now I don’t have a car though. I might at 4:30. Sigh. I’m getting indigestion haha.
Don’t let the disagreements bother you. I have many reasons why.
1.) much of what I disagree with turns out to be an incomplete or incorrect representation on Church teachings. This is especially prevalent when people have feelings about things and want the Church to justify them, and we see that all the time.
2.) often if I “set aside” things for a few hours, days, years, eventually they will make sense to me and then I wonder why it didn’t at first. That’s because the Holy Spirit sometimes has to “prep” us for the next phase. So don’t beat yourself up over it, take any grief over it, or roll over and put a clamp on your brain – all that will do is increase the pressure and reduce the chance the Spirit can get to you on that particular truth.
3.) there are a number of things I disagree with in the practices of the Church, that have nothing to do with her teachings, and I’m not sorry about them. Sometimes I find people who help me understand or show me where I’m mistaken, but there are things that are still unexplained. That’s OK because I have NO EXPECTATIONS that the Church be perfect in all ways – that just isn’t what the Church is about. It’s about sinners, all in the same boat (like the arc, or the boat Jesus was in when He preached) and performing acts of mercy toward each other. People say the Church has the “whole truth” which is nice, and in an allegorical way it’s true, but this is one people will definitely take me to task about. To me it’s a “Word” game.
So many times we argue over things that have no substance, it keeps our mind completely occupied with prideful ego-centric thinking and closes us off to any “real” truth, because Real Truth isn’t found in the words we exchange, Truth is found in the hearts and in the very essence (whatever that is) of each and every member of the Body of Christ – which btw includes everything non-Christian, but the Real truth cuts across religious boundaries, as Jesus so often pointed out. (Think: Publican and tax collector, or the Good Samaritan.)
The devil attacks spiritually when you are growing in faith, or when you seek to return to faith. He is jealous, since he senses that he is losing you. Fight back! Take a look at Ephesians 6:10-18 for Saint Paul’s advice on the use of spiritual armor against the devil. Pray the prayer to Saint Michael the Archangel for protection.
Get a copy of Catholicism for Dummies. It will refresh you on what you know, teach you what you don’t know, and correct you if you are wrong on something. It is a great book. I learn something each time I open my copy.
Meg, most of all, trust your intuition. It is never wrong. The devil is trying to convince you that he is not real - that is his best trick. Take heart, for our Lord Jesus has defeated the devil. Today we begin the three holiest days of the year, in which the devil’s defeat, and Jesus’ triumph is made clear to us. Welcome home!
You all are great, It feels better to have people to talk to. I’ve been wanting to make this post, but I never knew exactly what to say. I will def talk to my intuition about this haha, and yes Alan, I have confessed over and over in my head, just need to do it for real like you said. thanks for the “welcome homes” I am going to try to get to Easter Mass. (but I’ll only receive communion if I get to confession before then) xo
on another subject, I dont know where to post this, (any suggestions?)…I’m trying to join the CA Book Club but I can’t post in that forum (and I can’t figure out how to join lol). Does anyone know why?