Why are Catholic men embarrassed to go to church? (an article)


#1

See www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-lancashire-12364936


#2

Perhaps this is a cultural thing.
In my Parish there are just as many men, and they sing too.
It might be because many of us are Seniors, who know we will be meeting our Maker sooner rather than later. ;)

Missing Mass on Sunday is a Mortal Sin, unless there is a very good reason.
It violates the third Commandment,
and it violates a Catholic Church precept.


#3

The argument that men work more and have less time for church is a weak argument, at best.

Perhaps one of the reasons we should consider why men are embarrassed to go to church is because the Church has fallen victim to modern radical feminism? Let's face it folks, modern feminism has done nothing for the Church, the family, and most of all for men.

Instead, we have churches waving their hands away to the men who want to get involved, a lot of the teaching positions are filled by women, there's a shortage of boys interested in learning about the priesthood, and priests do not stand by the teachings of the Church and have their church remain obedient.

This is just one symptom of a greater problem, but in general this is what occurs.


#4

There are plenty of men that attend mass at my parish on a regular basis.

I don’t think men are “embarrased” to go to church. That is just plain false, some Men may be making excuses to skip mass because mass is boring or they don’t want to miss Sunday sports.


#5

[quote="Maureen1125, post:4, topic:236615"]
There are plenty of men that attend mass at my parish on a regular basis.

I don't think men are "embarrased" to go to church. That is just plain false, some Men may be making excuses to skip mass because mass is boring or they don't want to miss Sunday sports.

[/quote]

The article was focused on just one area of England, so for that area, it may not be false.


#6

Being English myself, it may be linked with the stereotypical general embarrassment about overt displays of religious belief or taking anything too seriously (as e.g. Katie Fox argues in “Watching the English” which I’m reading right now), mixed with machoness perhaps.

And, of course, the growing secularism and indifference here, given that c. 90% of the population doesn’t go to church weekly, despite c. 70% putting down CofE (and a smaller proportion putting Catholic) on the 2001 census.

Of course this may all be wild speculation… :wink:


#7

My father by choice rarely attends Mass. I am sure a few family members wish he would go more often, but they know he will make his own choice. I am quite surprised my mother doesn't force the issue as she goes EVERY Saturday evening or Sunday morning but its between them, and I will not interfere.

I do see more women than men at church. Not sure why that is and I am in the USA. Most major sports events are on Sunday nights or afternoons, rarely in the morning.


#8

I know the article was about the England, but here in my parish in the US, I would not say that there are more women than men in Church. It seems to be fairly evenly split. Where I notice the lack of men are in the college classrooms. For some reason men are choosing not to go to college. If other people are seeing them absent in church, that would make me wonder what plans young men even have. Where ARE they going if it isn’t church or school.


#9

I'm not sure that there are more women than men at my church. This is such a weird article.....


#10

He said men can feel uncomfortable when there are many more women parishioners.

A couple of years ago I became acquainted with a young, single man at the parish where I attend mass with my Catholic wife. At the after-mass donut extravaganza, I found myself seated at a table with him. He expressed amazement at the fact that few single men came to mass. "Just look around," he said. "What do you see?" I looked around a saw about 15 young, single, attractive women scattered around the room. "Sorry to just leave you here," he said, "but this situation demands my attention." As he walked away he quoted a line from the movie, Top Gun: "This is what I call a target-rich environment."


#11

At my parish, on the Sunday masses, it’s about 50% women and about 50% men, but during the weekday masses it’s about 60% women and 40% men. In our society, religion is seen as more of a woman’s thing. Men tend to feel shut out at mass. I think we can all agree that women tend to be more spiritually inclined (when was the last time you saw a person on TV claiming to be a psychic, who was a MAN!? Nope, it’s always a woman.) Church (or religion in general) just isn’t something men do naturally-hence the all-male priesthood. If we ever started letting women into the priesthood, it would take about 100 years for the priesthood to become entirely filled with women (and a few gay men). The reason is because women are more spiritually inclined. As soon as that all happens, the men will REALLY feel shut out.

…I was just reading over what I just wrote…please don’t ask me why I went on that tangent, because I’m not sure myself. It just seemed like a natural thing to say.


#12

[quote="rick43235, post:10, topic:236615"]
At the after-mass donut extravaganza...

[/quote]

I can die happy now. Thank you.


#13

[quote="Darnrarejob, post:11, topic:236615"]
. If we ever started letting women into the priesthood, it would take about 100 years for the priesthood to become entirely filled with women (and a few gay men). The reason is because women are more spiritually inclined. As soon as that all happens, the men will REALLY feel shut out.

[/quote]

Or maybe more men would start coming for that really pretty priestess. :D


#14

England is England. Being non Religious has become a totem of Englishness. Foreigners are religious but Englishmen don't "Godbother". Only 15% of children are now baptised into Anglicanism. The figure was 70% less than a century ago. Even at this basic "rite of passage" hatch match and dispatch level the English have deserted Christianity.

This reality, and reality it is, makes it difficult for Englishmen openly to challenge cultural norms and to be openly religious.

Soccer is the most transcendent experience most englishmen have. This apparently silly statement is actually profoundly true. Manchester United has more fans in England than Christianity in all its guises has regular worshippers. That is the background against which one has to see this discussion.


#15

[quote="Aboveallbereal, post:14, topic:236615"]
England is England. Being non Religious has become a totem of Englishness. Foreigners are religious but Englishmen don't "Godbother". Only 15% of children are now baptised into Anglicanism. The figure was 70% less than a century ago. Even at this basic "rite of passage" hatch match and dispatch level the English have deserted Christianity.

This reality, and reality it is, makes it difficult for Englishmen openly to challenge cultural norms and to be openly religious.

[/quote]

That's all entirely true. I'm 24 and I wasn't christened. Two of my cousins were baptised Anglican but it was mainly just a party and I think partially to make my Gran happy - she's the most religious in my family, but abandoned church attendance and organised Christianity since she spent ages volunteering to clean her local (Anglican) parish church only to discover that the richer women who came to help out were being given preferential treatment by the priests and were not doing anything.

I occasionally go to Mass (usually Saturday Vigil) or Anglican services (the ritual makes me feel peaceful and I have vaguely theistic beliefs mixed with doubt) since visiting a Protestant and Catholic church (often the latter because there more services) in Germany out of curiosity, but my friends and family (mostly agnostic or atheist) don't really know that (or rather some know I have attended a church or cathedral once or twice out of curiosity).

For some reason - even though theoretically my parents always said we could get baptised etc. as adults - I have a sense of culturally-based embarrassment relating to my vague interest in religion and spirituality I can't easily shake, and if I really was to be openly religious (even at the level of being a culturally liberal, church-attending Anglican, let alone at the level of a Catholic believing the Magisterium on divorce, fornication, homosexuality and contraception) it would be seen as oddly overzealous and God-bothering by many people.


#16

[quote="Aboveallbereal, post:14, topic:236615"]
Even at this basic "rite of passage" hatch match and dispatch level the English have deserted Christianity..

[/quote]

I thought at the dispatch level (funerals) a Christian service was still fairly popular, although I may be wrong. And that may partially be due to older people dying who grew up when England was more religious.

Due to the established church, anyone who dies in parish can have an Anglican funeral regardless of religious observance, etc.


#17

Don’t worry about it. It won’t happen.


#18

I do not believe that the issue is a question of "why" Catholic men are "embarrassed" (unwilling would be a more appropriate term) but rather what made them that way, and why is it that, instead of men not attending in general, why are a sizable amount of Catholics are NOT attending Mass as often as they should and as they should?

With the advent of the Novus Ordo Missae and the systematic suppression of the Mass of all times, many things that were once well and just are now seeing days that could be much better. Also, with the uprising of modernism and the inculcation of liberal heresies in the hearts of many in the west, it should come as no surprise to anyone that the Church, above all things is suffering the most.

While I do hold onto the fact the N.O.M is valid, I cannot help but lament its implementation as a form of worship among the Church faithful. With it, many have become confused and believe that the Most Sacred Altar is a table, that there is not much of a line between clergy and laity (when there is very much so) and many have accepted innovations, some of which can be said to be heretical and abusive in and of themselves, of the most holy sacrifice of the Mass. Because the Mass has become something of a novelty, rather than the maintenance of sacrosanct tradition, we are seeing a deterioration of the faiths of many.

It is sad to say that most don't even seem to be certain of the real presence of Christ in the Eucharist. What a sad time it is for all of us faithful Catholics who wish not to see such a thing. Why such a form of the Mass needed to be added when there was nothing wrong with the original is truly astonishing to me. Instead of the world being left to accommodate to the Church or be left alone by the Church to fall by its own devices, we are seeing a complete reversal, where the Church has conformed, in part, to the ways of the world so that it may appear more palatable

Pray for us, oh Blessed Mother.


#19

[quote="kingal86, post:15, topic:236615"]
That's all entirely true. I'm 24 and I wasn't christened. Two of my cousins were baptised Anglican but it was mainly just a party and I think partially to make my Gran happy - she's the most religious in my family, but abandoned church attendance and organised Christianity since she spent ages volunteering to clean her local (Anglican) parish church only to discover that the richer women who came to help out were being given preferential treatment by the priests and were not doing anything.

I occasionally go to Mass (usually Saturday Vigil) or Anglican services (the ritual makes me feel peaceful and I have vaguely theistic beliefs mixed with doubt) since visiting a Protestant and Catholic church (often the latter because there more services) in Germany out of curiosity, but my friends and family (mostly agnostic or atheist) don't really know that (or rather some know I have attended a church or cathedral once or twice out of curiosity).

For some reason - even though theoretically my parents always said we could get baptised etc. as adults - I have a sense of culturally-based embarrassment relating to my vague interest in religion and spirituality I can't easily shake, and if I really was to be openly religious (even at the level of being a culturally liberal, church-attending Anglican, let alone at the level of a Catholic believing the Magisterium on divorce, fornication, homosexuality and contraception) it would be seen as oddly overzealous and God-bothering by many people.

[/quote]

Your username leads me to believe you are 25. Am I correct? assuming you are it is and will be extremely difficult culturally and personally to "out" yourself as a Christian if indeed you ever choose to be one and openly declare it.

The English experience is different to the irish one but no less demanding for the believer in that in Ireland your generation loathe and hate the church largely because they see its teaching as a trammel on sexual freedom whereas in England the church is not so much loathed as simply irrelevant to the life of the vast majority of people. Both realiities lead to christians who want to be accepted and liked feeling the necessity to stay "closetted" for fear of opprobrium.

Good luck.


#20

Yeah you’re right it is my year of birth, I’ll be 25 in December. Yes I think it would be actually, though even without that difficulty (which obviously hardly approaches the risk of death in the early years of Christianity), I’m unsure of my beliefs and not in full agreement on some traditional Christian morals so I probably wouldn’t feel I could honestly be baptised and confirmed in a Christian denomination. I looked up what my aunt and uncle promised at their childrens’ Anglican christening and am not sure if I could honestly and sincerely make those promises and state I was sure I believed all of it.

I think LemonAndLime (who’s also English) is a similar age and actually converted to Catholicism in the last year or so, and know a few Christians (mostly more charismatic/evangelical Protestants - some with more traditional moral views, who often married at 18-21, which is considered extremely early here) at uni, but obviously they’re a tiny minority.


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