Why are people using their sexual attractions as the way to identify themselves/Obituary

I’m so sad. A young high-school freshman has taken his own life. Within hours his obituary was online for all to see…and he was decribed as a “young gay man” who “looked forward to the day when there would be equality for all”.

He was only 15!!! Surely not old enough to have fully formed his outlook on things, and surely not old enough to be identified as a “young gay man”. He was a young teenager!

The obituary decribed how he was supported in this at his church, his youth group, his school, how everyone loved him, how brilliant he was ( it listed just about every award and recognition he had ever received…lots of them).

It really made me so sad…it seemed that he had been exploited. He was portrayed in comments as being very kind, vibrant, brilliant, etc. by teachers and friends.

So here’s what I’m pondering: the fact that he was so supported in this lifestyle by family, friends, teachers, and the changing laws of our country, did not prevent him from taking his own life. Could it be, that deep down, he knew this was against God’s law, and that he had been “pegged” or labeled at a very young age? Perhaps he felt trapped.

Why on earth would the obituary describe him as a “young gay man”? Of what significance is that? Should the sexual preferences of individuals be matter for obituaries? Are we reduced to our type of sexual attraction? Is it possible that the parents are deflecting their own responsibility by making these comments in the obituary, making him out to be some kind of heroe for the cause?

Would you object similarly if they referred to him as a “young catholic man”?

I find it silly that it would be put in his obituary. I also find it distasteful for you to speculate as to why he committed suicide. Pray for his soul and his family.

The militant gay agenda capitalizing on the death of a child. That is not surprising in the slightest. It is very discouraging though. God rest this child’s soul. He was a victim of the world. May he find mercy at the feet of the Lord, and everlasting life.

I have often found myself asking these questions too and I don’t think the OP said anything that warranted the nasty replies. The identity of the young man was not provided. A legitimate question about what may have precipitated his suicidal action was asked and a possible motivating factor was posited based on what the Church teaches about sexual activity outside of marriage. There was nothing that deserved chastisement.

DrTaffy: To equate Catholicism with disordered and gravely sinful sexual activity is certainly obnoxious and offensive.

That’s a religion, not his sexual orientation. It would be like him being referred to as a “young heterosexual man.”

Who wrote the obituary? Was it a news story or was it submitted by his parents?

The inclusion of the word “gay” in referring to the man makes little sense, unless it is to imply that his suicide is (in fact) related to his gay sexuality. In other circumstances, it would appear to be redundant, or irrelevant, just as his religion would be irrelevant if unrelated to the suicide event.

Amen, a thousand times over.

If it was an obituary, I can only assume that it was written by his family. It is a little off-putting to see such a comment in an obituary, but at the same time, as a parent, I can only have compassion for the family since they just endured a loss by a 15 year old due to taking his own life. Also, obituaries are written so soon after a death, this might have been written with emotions that otherwise wouldn’t be involved.

Also, what church is it? I find it hard to believe Catholic Church Parrish members would approve of the young man if he actually lived that lifestyle. I understand if he had a natural attraction to the same sex but if he acted upon it or publicly supported the lifestyle, I don’t know too many whom would agree with him.

Whoever wrote the obituary was probably trying to express what a great kid he was and trying to prevent the cause of his death reflecting negatively on him or his family. I wouldn’t try and read anymore into their motives than that.

A mainline Protestant Church with “modernized” doctrines.


If you mean that they encourage/accept homosexual behavior, evidently so.

I don’t think they would describe someone as a heterosexual because that’s expected, so there’s no reason to say it… but when it comes to a minority, you don’t so maybe you mention it.

Your points are well made. honest, and accurate. Modern consciences will not tolerate your type of reasoning. We are expected to bow to relativism and pop culture as our guides.

I didn’t ‘equate’ anything, I just asked a question.

If he is too young “to be identified as a “young gay man”” why is he not “too young to be identified as a “young catholic man””?

And yet Catholic parents and Catholic Priests have no compunction about baptising a child and branding him/her forever as indelibly ‘Catholic’, including asserting the right of the Roman Catholic Church to demand that he/she get ‘dispensation’ from a Catholic Bishop before getting married in a non-Catholic ceremony - whereas I have yet to see anyone objecting to an allegedly ‘gay’ person changing their mind and saying that they are now ‘bisexual’.

Calling homosexuality (not activity, just the orientation) ‘disordered and gravely sinful’ is, of course, ‘obnoxious and offensive’, but as you are in the majority here I am sure that you will be ably assisted in not seeing that.

Because what do children know about sexuality?

Being Catholic at a young age is fine, it has nothing to do with sexual living and being sexually active.

why don’t you ask the parents yourself? write them, in their hour of grief, and demand a Suitable Explanation for this outrage.

or maybe cut them a little slack and not presume to know what’s going through their minds during this time.

then ask yourself why on earth this matters to you.


We should pray for his soul and for his family, not dissect their choice of wording in an obit.

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