Why are Saturdays so miserable when my dh is home?


#1

He gets so irritated with us. I’d rather he just go away for the day.

Anybody else experience this?


#2

Have you talked with him about this?


#3

What is it that he become irritated about and how does he express this?


#4

My dh gets like this on a Sunday. I think it is a combination of tiredness, the thought of impending Monday, and being together after being apart all week.


#5

I find that if I have my own routine M - F, it changes on the weekend. If I’m irritated about dh being in the way or messing up the routine, he picks up on that and gets irritated back.

He’s not really in the way, but KWIM?


#6

I experienced this with my dad as a kid:( :mad:. If I were you I’d talk to him about it and get to the bottom of why he is so irritated.

I remember dreading weekends or rainy days:eek: (my dad did farm labor so when it rained he couldn’t work) because it meant he was going to be home. Him being home meant constant fighting with my mom, he was always irritated and mad, I sure didn’t want him around:(.

Things didn’t get better until I was almost a senior in high school and still they weren’t that great. As he’s gotten older he’s mellowed and now we look forward to his days off cause he makes breakfast or runs errands for us, of course it doesn’t matter much now because I don’t live with him anymore:shrug:.

I wish I had better memories of my dad growing up, I’m glad he’s changed, but I will never forget the fear he brought out in me with just the thought of him being home:blush:.


#7

It could be that he needs some “me” time. I find that after a long week of work, with a long list of stuff I should get done on the weekend, including seeing people that I want to see, sometimes I just begin to resent that there’s no time for me to be alone.

Does your DH get any time to himself, or do you and the kids expect him to be an active husband and parent the entire weekend? He may just need, say, Saturday mornings to be “don’t bug Dad” time, so he can putter and do whatever it is he wants to do, so that he’s refreshed and ready to interact in the afternoons.


#8

I agree our husbands work hard all week (yes we do too!) and they need a brake (we do too!) I find our weekends are a lot of making time for him to go off and do his hobbies and come back so i can leave and enjoy “me” time. This is good as long as you dont spend all your time apart. the best balance is to take half a saturday for you and half for him and sunday being a family day. it doesnt always work with other obligations or “to do” lists and all but if you are feeling frustrated with him “in the way” then ask if you can go to the store or get a coffee maybe you just need some time away.

I also agree that you have a routine during the week and he comes home and throws it off a little. But just be happy he is there to help, put him to work. he probably doesnt know what to do with himself.


#9

Thanks for all the replies. I sent my husband out yesterday after he was so angry with the kids that I was concerned.

He went shooting (archery) and was as happy as a clam when he got back.

I really don’t know what to do with him. I think I’ll just ask him to reserve Saturday mornings for shooting (archery).

BTW, I was perfectly sweet to him.


#10

But have you talked to him about why he is acting this way? Maybe on a day when he is calm, you can tell him why you are concerned. It might be something easily fixed, like scheduling a day of archery or it could be something entirely differnet. You don’t know until you have a conversation with him

I am sure that you were very sweet to him, by the way.:slight_smile:


#11

There may be a deeper root to his irritability on Saturdays. I used to experience something similar, and I believe it was linked to being under spiritual attack. If you think about it, Saturday is the farthest you can get from your last Sunday Mass, and people sometimes just become more vulnerable then.


#12

Well, I used to be that guy. Everything that happened in the family was an affront to me. I was, well, rude to the kids and to my wife.

Then, my wife and I started to go to confession again, after not doing it for many years. As I regularly examined my conscience, I realized that I was a really selfish idiot at home. I’m a nice guy, and I love my family, but I had to make a genuine effort to joyfully make time for the people in my family.

So, perhaps, a gentle reminder about vocations and the proper way to act around the house? My wife always has success by making me think that I’ve thought of the idea myself, if that helps. :thumbsup:


#13

Wow, Paul and Sam,

You are making perfect sense. Of course, it’s a spiritual problem and of course it’s a vulnerable time that the devil uses.

I’ll have to prepare better in the way that really matters.:thumbsup:


#14

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