My dear FRIEND in Christ,
I’m the OP and not a psychologist, and will suggest to you tat you would do well to speak privately to your Catholic Pastor about your issues and concerns.
I will therefore address only your closing remarks:
Here my friend is what the Bible has to say about any and all CATHOLICS who choose to abandon Her for ANY Reason:
Heb 6: 1-12 "Heb.4 Verses 1 to 12
"For it is impossible [UNLESS ONE REPENTS AND RECONVERTS] to restore again to repentance those who have once been enlightened,[BAPTIZED INTO THE RCC] who have tasted the heavenly gift, [JESUS CHRIST IN PERSON GOD] and have become partakers of the Holy Spirit, [CONFIRMED IN THE CATHOLIC FAITH WHICH CREATES A PERSONAL COVENANT BETWEEN YOU AND GOD]
and have tasted the goodness of the word of God [BEEN INSTRUCTED IN THE ONE TRUE FAITH OF CHRIST] and the powers of the age to come, [INFUSION OF GRACE OFFERED TO YOU] if they then commit apostasy, since they crucify the Son of God on their own account and hold him up to contempt. For land which has drunk the rain that often falls upon it, and brings forth vegetation useful to those for whose sake it is cultivated, receives a blessing from God. But if it bears thorns and thistles, it is worthless and near to being cursed; its end is to be burned. Though we speak thus, yet in your case, beloved, we feel sure of better things that belong to salvation. For God is not so unjust as to overlook your work and the love which you showed for his sake in serving the saints, as you still do. And we desire each one of you to show the same earnestness in realizing the full assurance of hope until the end, so that you may not be sluggish, but imitators of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.
To be clear here: Anyone for ANY reason who chooses to leave the RCC is endangering their salvation.
Further it is a moral, logical and theological IMPOSSIBILITY that GOD would hold ALL “Christian” faiths to somehow be equal
John.1: 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
John.14: 6 Jesus said to him, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father, but by me. ALL SINGULAR TENSE
Matt.16: 18 to 19 And I tell YOU, YOU are Peter, and on[PETER] this rock I will build my church, [SINGULAR] and the powers of death shall not prevail against it.
I will give YOU [ALL IMPLIED HERE] the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever YOU bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever YOU loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven."
THIS IS DIRECT, PRECISE & EXCLUSIVE
GOD WHO CAN BE DESCRIBED AS ALL GOOD THINGS PERFECTED, COULD NOT BE GOD AND ACCEPT EQUALITY OF CHRISTIAN FAITHS WHICH ARE BUILT ON HALF-TRUTH, WRONG UNDERSTANDING, AND VERY HUMAN APPEALING-INNOVATIONS
Friend, Mass is ALL about GOD, not about us or how it makes US feel. You can NOT encounter GOD in Person in any other Protestant church or faith. … THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE CONSIDERING GIVING UP
See your Pastor ASAP and PRAY very much,
God Bless you,