Why being a virgin is hard


I am single, with hopes of getting married some day. I really feel marriage is my vocation, but I also have to be realistic and know that I might never get married. I am so worried, because I am a virgin and have very little sexual experience (by choice), but I am not 21 anymore so now I feel like guys will not want to bother when they can find another girl who will do sexual things with them, not just sex. I don’t even want to make out. The last guy I dated Was Catholic, and respectful, but i feel a reason it ended was because I wouldn’t do anything sexual with him… He wouldn’t tell me that was the reason, but I feel deep down it was. There was other legit reasons (such as, I’m guarded, etc) , but I still have strong feelings for him. When I was talking about him to one of my girl friends, she even asked me ‘he was ok with that?’ About the fact tht I wouldn’t sleep with him. And, then she continued on, saying that it would be hard for me to find a guy. it was different 5 or 10 years ago, guys seemed to respect girls being virgins, but these days people judge you for being a virgin (which is sad). If you all could pray for me to meet my future spouse, I would so very much appreciate it! I really need some prayers, as right now I am just feeling down about it and worried. Thank you, and God Bless!


If I may say, what you’ve heard is baloney. There’s still plenty of guys who respect and value your self-control and respect. They’re just not usually easy to find. But aren’t all good things in this world? I’ll keep you in my prayers.


Our Father, Who art in heaven
Hallowed be Thy Name;
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
and forgive us our trespasses,
as we forgive those who trespass against us;
and lead us not into temptation,
but deliver us from evil.

Hail Mary, full of grace.
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
pray for us sinners,
now and at the hour of our death.

Glory be to the Father,
and to the Son,
and to the Holy Spirit:
As it was in the beginning,
is now,
and ever shall be,
world without end.


Be careful about assuming why someone is ending a relationship. If there were “other legit reasons” then it probably wasn’t all about sex regardless of what some other girl said.


Why don’t you want to make out? Are you saying you don’t have sexual desire at all? If I were with a girl and she didn’t even want to kiss me I’d feel she weren’t physically attracted to me.


Would you be open to dating sites, like the one advertised here: Catholicmatch?


The vocation to marriage seems to be a bit overated.


Don’t understand. Meet, then get married in the same day?


Idk being in a relationship is pretty hard too

Maybe life itself is just hard


It is for everyone. But, we have the power to overcome it; if not, try.


This is an odd assumption SHB.


I’ve never met a girl who didn’t want to make out. I think that’s a bit odd tbh


What type of girls have you been meeting?


‘Make out’ isn’t a term I’m familiar with being Australian,but do you mean as in push the boundaries?
Going beyond hugging and kissing is pushing the boundaries before marriage .


It means long French kissing. Loooooooooooong. It’s typically the lead-up to…yeah, you get what I’m saying.


[quote=“HNA444, post:1, topic:489891, full:true”]it was different 5 or 10 years ago, guys seemed to respect girls being virgins,

Not sure where you got that idea. It was the samee 5-10 years ago. It was the same for me back in the 80s when I was a teenager.

You say you are not 21 anymore. Just curious but how old are you?

When I was younger, I was sure that my vocation was to marry and I never did. I wish I knew back then that making it to 48 years old and never being married is actually a great life. So don’t be so sure your vocation is to marry

Lastly this girl who was shocked that your boyfriend was OK with it. Pray for her. That comment came out of jealousy. She sounds like the type of person who doesn’t enjoy sex but goes along with it just to keep a man around. So sad women feel that way

Also, you say there were other legitimate reasons he broke up. I think that is why he broke up. Men who truly love you and want sex would propose marriage


Well there you go.It sounds like the OP is trying to do the right thing and was being rejected for it .


There will always be at least one guy that feels the same way about things. I do, and I know a few others who do too. It could just be that we’re few and far between, and the women who think the same way we do are also.


You’re doing the right thing by guarding your chastity. Being alone may be frustrating, but it’s much better than lowering your standards. You know you wish to be chaste, right? That’s a blessing.

Yeah, that’s what the modern world has come to. Just as info, there are still countries (some big ones) in the world where the situation is the reverse: a girl who is known to have “sexual experience” would have little chance of finding a husband other than a divorcee. I’m just pointing that out to show you that in some place your choice is still considered the right one, and unequivocally so.

God bless you. And you will meet your bridegroom. Be patient for as long as it takes.


In my opinion I would do the following:

Keep a little journal by your bed or on your dresser, and use it to follow a regime for spiritual reading, especially reading the Gospels and the Psalms.

Pray daily over your concerns either before bed or in the morning, or both, and then go about your day.


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