Why Can't I Be Good?


I find myself asking that question lately?

My work is a drag and I can’t stay motivated, the recession has led some of my coworkers to lose their job and the atmosphere at work is terrible. Everyone is down and I find myself getting so frustrated and angry with my coworkers and myself. I’ve been drinking too much lately and use it as a means to escape and fall asleep at night. My wife and I are trying to start a family and I want to be a positive husband but everything seems so grim.

I went to confession yesterday and the priest asked me to work on my relationship with God and do some soul-searching; examine my conscience and get to the root of what’s going on. I felt a little better and than in Mass I started to gaze longingly at an attractive parishioner. I caught myself but I asked myself the same question. Even here, in church at Mass:

Why can’t I be good?


These economic times are hard on a lot of people. The best advice I can give is to try to concentrate and do your best and give yourself to God. He will take care of you even if it doesn’t feel like it at the time. You need to stop the drinking all together. If it is to the point where you are using it to go to sleep at night, you are at the point where you are becoming dependant on it. Again, I would go home and throw it out or pour it down the drain. Alcohol abuse is a family killer. If you are past the point where you can’t stop, go get professional help.

Don’t beat yourself up too badly on the attractive woman in church. When you have a lot of things your mind, your mind will wander and that attractive lady drawed your attention easily. The important thing is that you said that you caught yourself doing it. If you keep doing it afterwards, then it would be sinful, but once you stopped after you noticed what you was doing, then you are doing the right thing. Everyone has uncontrollable thoughts. We just have to do our best to fight them. Take care and God bless.


Do you really really really want to be good?

If you really really really do, then pray to God for help. Persist in your prayer, show God you truly want to change, and He will give you the strength and grace to change, one step at a time.

It is painful to realize our own sinfulness and try to change. But we must put our foot down and keep at it. We must show God our sincerity by quitting our bad habits, one step at a time. Drink less, quit drinking, start reading spiritual books, pray the rosary, daily mass, you know, whatever you could do.

You can be good by starting to be good, one step a time.

Praying the Stations of the Cross might help you make up your mind whether you want a radical conversion.


My dear friend

I think its just original sin and our weak, wounded, fallen nature we have now. As to why can’t I be good? Maybe look at it like asking why can’t I swim ? ( assuming you can’t. I know you probably can of course) . Someone will say, " you can’t swim because you never learnt to swim" The answer is to learn to swim. If we’re sinners with all the usual consequences which includes gloominss, sadness, depression, frustration, anger etc etc and not just the sins, then to overcome this we need to learn how to be a saint ad do it. We’re not born saints, we’re born sinners. Why don’t you take some swimming lessons. We all have to. I hope this is helpful to you. Saints are the happiest people alive usually.

God bless you ad I’ll pray for you:thumbsup::slight_smile:



One cannot be sinless unless they know God. One can’t come to know God unless God teaches him or her. In order to be taught by God one needs to have the indwelling of the Holy Spirit.

Read Romans six where Paul explains how he tried to not sin, and no matter what he did he could not be free of sin. Then read Romans seven and see how Paul defeated sin.

(Galatians 5:16)“Let me put it like this if you are guided by the Spirit you will be in no danger of yielding to self-indulgence…”.

(1 John 3: 3 - 9) “Surely everyone who entertains this hope must purify himself, must try to be as pure as Christ. Any one who sins at all breaks the law, because to sin is to break the law. Now you know that He appeared in order to abolish sin, and that in Him there is no sin; anyone who lives in God does not sin, and anyone who sins has never seen Him or known Him. My children do not let anyone lead you astray; to live a holy life is to be holy just as He is holy; to lead a sinful life is to belong to the Devil, since the Devil was a sinner from the beginning. It was to undo all that the Devil has done that the Son of God appeared. No one who has been begotten by God sins: because God’s seed remains inside him, he cannot sin when he has been begotten by God.”


Only God is good, so trust in Him. Exchange your weakness for His Strength; Jesus wants to make this exchange with every soul, so He can make it holy and lead it into eternal and absolute bliss. Immerse yourself in His Heart, too, for that is the Source and Summit of Love and Mercy. God is Goodness itself; who else would you turn to?


You told us what to do. Now tell us how you did it.


I am not good to follow, follow instead the Holy Spirit, who is the Master of prayer. But this is how I pray:

O my Jesus, I immerse myself in Your Sacred Heart, that Furnace of Love and Mercy which burns night and day for man. I give You all of my sins and weakness, and I beg You for Your Strength. I wish to rely on You my Good Lord, without whom I can do nothing. Do not look on my wretchedness but on my faith. Nevertheless, not as I will but as You Will. Thank You for always answering my prayers! Amen.


This is true. If you find yourself needing to use alcohol toss the alcohol and talk it out with someone other than your spouse, a therapist. They believe in God too. God has carried you a far distance and will carry you through this trial too. An objective listener to offer comfort in confusion and a helping hand is what you need most. Non judgemental forms of love and compassion. AA has these types of people too. Believers in Christ whose main goal is to serve those in need.We all sin. In times of weakness ask for help. Whether from a priest , psychiatrist, therapist or a AA support person. God led these people to their professions because these people are able to provide the ‘‘shelter from the storm’’ life throws our way.
God Bless you and keep you.


Try not drinking for 90 days and if you can’t then go to AA. It just sounds like you’re under a lot of stress and you’re looking for an escape route. I went through the same thing…not under the same circumstances but wanting to runaway from it all. I went through what you are going through at work, I know what you’re talking about. It’s hard but just keep plugging away at your outlook or perceptions.

Practicing being gratitude to God. Start wherever you are at-like small things thank you god I have toothpaste etc or I have a vehicle or thank you God I have a job. Make a gratitude list and watch how big it becomes…and keep doing it even though you don’t exactly feel grateful, you know you should be and that feeling of gratitude will come eventually. That’s what helps me and it affects all areas of my life and it makes everything easier. Just like a negative attitude affects all areas of my life.

I prayed a lot, went to daily mass when I could, said many, many Rosaries and worked on my attitude.

Also, I am a member of AA and that helped me tremendously with my faith in God and coping skills. I also learned to stop beating myself up and to take little steps…and remember only weeds grow fast. There is a saying in AA that we use: “This too shall pass”


This may seem pitiful, but it has worked so well for me, and of course you first have to believe.
I emmersed myself in the series of books known as the Left Behind Series, by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, ( I had tried to do things on my own without much result). This series of books will take you into the tributation and show you what life could be like if you are left behind when the Rapture comes.
For me it made me realize how important it is to read my Bible and try to get involved in other christian activities. I’m even starting a bible study now. I stopped listening to worldly music and have found a great christian radio station in my area. (not all christian music is hymnal based.) My most favorite if I can pass it on to you is God is God, by Steven Curtis Chapman. It’s not your regular christian song and it speaks volumes.
With all this I began praying again and letting God with our Lord Jesus Christ take my life for his good and not my own. That was my greatest hour. Being a servant of our Lord is much better than being a slave of my own worldly self, and I’m even happy about it, which I previously had doubted would ever happen.
Pray with your whole heart, mind and soul. You will not regret it. Your soul will sing.
My prayers are with you in your search for your path.


Iskra as long as we truly try our hardest The Lord will not let us fall.


Because people are all like balls that with a nick in them - they are not quite round, so they can’t roll properly. Putting it theologically, we lack the state of original righteousness - Adam was created in it, & was meant to have passed on to his descendants. By sinning, he lost it for himself - and for them. So they inherited original unrighteousness - the lack of something they were designed to have. So they come into the world as “damaged goods”. So the Last Adam, Christ, had to “make good” the apostasy of the First Adam. So the ball not only has its damage repaired - it is repaired to be more valuable than it would have been, had Adam not sinned. This is because man is restored by being “in-corporated” in the Last Adam, Who is a Divine Person - unlike the First, who was human.

Does that answer the question at all ?


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