Why do adults without small children sit in the cry room?

I am just wondering why adults with teenagers or without children at all sit in the cry room. We often move into the cry room with our one year old when she is getting too loud or wiggly. While there are other parents with small children that use the room (which is specially designated as a cry room), there are often adults as well. Yesterday my husband let me know that the women behind us were becoming annoyed with my daughter and her noise and activity so I ended up in the back hall, missing Mass all together. I told him afterward, that I would not be leaving the cry room again as we should not have to miss Mass. If people choose to sit in the cry room, they should expect that there will be little children in there. I don’t want to be rude in any way about it, I just wonder why they sit in there? Is there a reason I haven’t thought of? Thanks in advance for replies :slight_smile:

You might want to ask the mods to move this to Family Life, you might end up with more responses.

But to the point, is your Mass very crowded? Are there seats in the general seating area? Basically, are people in the cry room because there isn’t anywhere else to be?

No, the Mass usually has room. But I wondered if people don’t want to look for seats? Or be noticed if they’ve arrived late? I still think we shouldn’t have to leave. And I understand if people have their reasons for sitting in there, just know that there are little ones who might be noisy or active.

And if I can figure out how to move the post, I will. :slight_smile:

The few times I’ve done so have been between Easter and Pentecost. It’s so that my standing instead of kneeling is less disruptive. (Byzantines are forbidden to kneel during that period.)

Another fellow I know does so because he can sit close to a speaker - and hear the mass.

One woman I knew did so because she had lost her children (I don’t recall how they died). She wasn’t a child stealer type, but just needed to reaffirm regularly that there were still happy children at church. I’ve not seen her in 25 years, but I’ll always remember her.

I’ve seen that before, too, and didn’t understand it. When we’ve used the cry room, it was to calm or redirect our child without disturbing other parishioners, so it was extremely stressful to worry about disturbing the child-less parishioners who were sitting in the cry room!
If one chooses to sit in the “designated noisy child area,” then one should not complain about noisy children!

Haha, I don’t know. Some ideas:

1.) Got there late and wanted to sneak into a pew. It being a Catholic Church, the back pews were already taken.

2.) Wanted to sit apart from people, perhaps to avoid being recognized, to avoid being squished into a pew and crawled over or shoved down, to avoid singing, to limit spread of sickness, or privacy for grieving.

3.) Perhaps the room is more disabled-friendly or accessible (ramps, stairs, doors, moveable furniture).

4.) Perhaps the sound system is better in that room.

5.) Often parents let their kids wail and misbehave; ironically, the cry room may be quieter and with fewer distractions.

Thank you for the thoughts. Some I certainly hadn’t thought of. I know people must have their reasons. As someone who prefers to not use the cry room unless necessary, I just couldn’t think of any. But as much as I don’t like the cry room, I am thankful for it while my daughter is at this stage.

for people with hearing aids there is usually less ambient air noise and echo in a smaller and closed in area.

I can see some reasons now. So, if my daughter is screaming or otherwise being disruptive, should I leave the cry room if she is disturbing people?

I am seriously allergic to incense, both the regular and the non-allergenic type. It causes asthma attacks. It is only by using the cry room that I can attend Mass on the days it is used.

I would never expect a woman with a crying child to leave the room! That is its intended purpose. Don’t worry about those ladies.

Some people dislike participating in the Mass but know that they’re supposed to be there. :shrug:

Also, I second the thought that people who need hearing aids like to sit near speakers.

My brother and I would sit in the cry room when we would go to mass together as teenagers because the air conditioning was more concentrated in that room. Our genetics make us prone to excessive sweat just by getting slightly warm. If we couldn’t get the back pew under the vent, we headed for the cry room.

You people are kind of tempting me to want to use the cry room …
Of course I realize that should I do so,
crying children actually take priority …
I would just be a visitor to their room. :o

You should never feel pressure to leave even the cry room because someone got annoyed with your child. If the women behind you knowingly sat in an area designated for parents with young children and became annoyed that is her problem not yours and you shouldn’t leave or made to leave in order not the bother this person. What is she going to do to you?
You and your husband should never let people like this push young parents with young children around while sitting in an area designated for you. If she becomes annoyed, she can do the right thing and sit in the Church and be thankful there are young parents with young children in Church in the first place.

NO!! If someone is in the cry room for most other reasons they should be aware that it is the cry room for a reason (ie crying babies). :slight_smile: :shrug:

Just ignore the lady. She’s a nut.

that’s putting it politely, I can think of a number of other things to call these types of people.


I don’t care what their reasoning is for being in a cry room. If they can’t handle crying in the cry room they need to move themselves. It’s a cry room!

Don’t worry about them. Instead, ask them why they came to a cry room if they can’t handle the crying.

At one time we had a priest with a very soft voice but he gave wonderful homilies, But I couldn’t hear him unless I sat in the cry room where it came over the mike much better. Usually I was there by myself but it never bothered me if kiddes were there. I raised 7 of them. Sometimes I was even able to help. Hold baby while Mom was able to take another little one potty etc. God Bless, Memaw

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