Welcome to the club. Or rather you should welcome me, as you’ve been around for half again my time. I too always manage to get lied to or cheated on. Two things I hate the most: lie and betrayal. Don’t get me wrong: I’ll forgive a hasty lie quickly straightened out (or any lie whatsoever, but let’s just say my romantic incentives will take a hit), and I’m understanding of the fights people have to fight to stay faithful. Anyway. Can’t say I’ve been looking in the church or its agencies or groups, but I can tell you religious people can make it hard on you as well. Basically, no one is immune to certain things, not even the religious folks who seem to do more charity work in a day than I in my whole life, who seem to pray more truly and whatnot. There’s always the ca-boom element in my life, be it either some news of cheating or lying, or a simple dump. The last girl, God bless her (I mean it), was a truly magnificent person but couldn’t take my Catholic views, my absolutist way of thinking, the idea of bringing children up Catholics “the way you see it” etc. In reality, might have been the distance and/or my lawyerish bickering over minutiae or maybe my occasional jerky moments adding up, but well, all that could have been overcome, so I guess it really comes down to the religious and the philosophical. There’s no god but God and Ratzinger is His prophet, but do I miss the girl.
At any rate, have you perhaps tried taking some of those many, many psychological tests? This one has its faults but it isn’t that bad for a general idea. For example, it calls me religious, intellectual and conservative and tells me I need a practical, conservative and shy girl. I don’t really agree with the shy part, but I think they got the eight characteristics of me extremely right in terms of priorities, and they did a good job with my match as well. So let’s say this quiz may look silly but in my humble opinion it’s surprisingly accurate. There are many more. Of course, it’s not about quizzes, but knowing oneself and what one’s looking for may help. At any rate, it gave me 1. Practical 2. Religious 3. Shy (I’d say modest…)4. Traditional 5. Intellectual 6. Athletic (no biggy, just can’t sit down all the time, but my walking habits tend to be a strain on female company) 7. Funny 8. Adventurous 9. Big-Hearted 10. Stylish… which is probably a rare combination, knowing me, even if I don’t believe in fixed lists of priorities like that. Myself, I got **1. Religious 2. Intellectual ****3. Conservative **4. Outgoing 5. Big-Hearted 6. Adventurous 7. Traditional 8. Wealthy/Ambitious 9. Practical 10. Romantic, which generally screams of almost-contradictions. You’re probably likely to end up with a similarly odd set.
By the way, maybe you have a multi-faceted personality and people need to devote a lot of time, attention and effort to get to know you reasonably well? Most people just prefer run-of-the-mill vanilla folks who are either the basher or the artisan or the sage, in other words, a clear and single archetype. It’s my impression that jacks-of-all-trades are popular but ultimately quite lonely on the personal level. It’s also possible that you’re an attractive person in physical and similar ways, making guys head to you by default without thinking about personality. Same what guys with athletic physiques, fat wallets and/or popularity/authority have to face. Also, the Catholic “thing” is too much to take for most people who are not it. One needs to be either holy enough to make it work without compromising or pushing people away, or “flexible” enough to compromise and, well, make everyone get along. Needless to say, I’m neither of the two, so hello world.:o Don’t you have the same feeling?
At any rate, I wish you all the best of luck, Sierrah.
Edit: LSK, I wish you the same as well. Perhaps you need a guy who is ready to give up a lot or, firstly, one who will be there for you and not for his concept of marriage and family. It’s a wonderful trait that you don’t take it against them. If there’s anyone who deserves to find a right guy, you do.