Why do people choose offense? Is it our pride/ego/vanity that gets us offended?


I think people should ask these two questions instead of reacting emotionally to “hurtful” words. Does God call us to be not easily offended?

  1. Is there value in that opinion/statement/action for me, even if I don’t like it?
  2. If I don’t like it, could it be that it touched something inside of me that I need to explore?
  3. Might I learn about my own insecurities if I explore what the words of another stir up inside of me emotionally?


Technically we are deserving of mistreatment so…


Why do you say that?


“A person’s wisdom yields patience; / it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” Proverbs 19:11


You’ve brought this up before and I can guess the context from which you’re asking.

Sure, what you described would be the mature way to handle hurtful criticism.

However, few of us reach that place of such detachment from our own ego and pride that hurtful words can’t wound us.

Most of us are only human, after all. We need compassion more than condemnation.

Again, check the log in your own eye. No where does Jesus command us to cruelly wound our brothers and sisters with harsh criticism. Instead, we are commanded to love and build each other up with encouragement.

Continuing to put someone down will not help them pull themselves up out of their sins, no matter how much you wish it would.


I’m going to bring in a dangerous analogy:

It’s like lust/modesty.

A man should not lust over a woman whatever she wears (we should be able to accept criticism, however is is given)
However a woman should also dress modestly (The giver of criticism should deliver it gently)


All valid points

St Paul gave this instruction

  1. Gal 5: 19 Now the works of the flesh are plain: immorality, impurity, …, dissension [ διχοστασίαι division, schism breaking into sects etc], … and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. As in they go to hell

  2. Paul to bishop Titus Titus 3:10 "As for a man who is factious ( αἱρετικὸν heretic ), after admonishing him once or twice, have nothing more to do with him, 11 knowing that such a person is perverted and sinful; he is self-condemned.”

Note in both cases, there’s a theme of 2 warnings by Paul, then that’s it. He’s NOT going to argue with them. Not many of us operate that way


Couple of things:

Bearing wrong/insult/injury with patience is a spiritual work of mercy - for which we will be rewarded.

As to being offended when simply opposed or when corrected, I allow Archbishop Fulton Sheen to address it.

“Pride is the child of ignorance, humility the offspring of knowledge.”


I like that quote :slightly_smiling_face::+1:


Since we all make mistakes & we also wanted to be treated with patience & compassion by others, I guess if we think that way we can be more tolerable with others’.


In the KJV, Psalm 119:165 says, “Great peace have they which love thy law, and nothing shall offend them”.

Modern translations word it a bit differently, but as one who has spent a lifetime overcoming being easily hurt and offended, I much prefer that one. :slight_smile:


St Teresa of Avila said the following prayer for internal peace

Let nothing disturb you,
Let nothing frighten you,
All things are passing away:
God never changes.
Patience obtains all things
Whoever has God lacks nothing;
God alone suffices.


The answer to the enumerated questions is a resounding maybe. lol, sorry to be Capt. Equivocation with that, but your questions are a good prism through which we can measure something offensive.:+1: I also liked your post title because it reminded me of something I heard in confession once about ego and vanity both coming from the capital sin of pride and feeding into it.

I’m going to be a Fr. Mike shill again and suggest this video. I’d say the most relevant part is at like about 6:00-ish.


IF this is directed at me, and it sounds like it is.

  1. Yes, there is value in some of what I was told even if I dont want to hear it right now.
  2. Lets just stick with yet.
  3. And yes.


MaryClare, it’s not about you. That’s ridiculous. Other people create threads as well as you.


If you would read other threads by the OP, you would realize it is not directed at you. She is asking for help and is trying to understand her own issues. Be at peace.


You are right. I have been at this way too long. Something I havent mentioned is I have a brain tumor right now. I am sick.Im getting the help I need. God willing.


This topic was automatically closed 14 days after the last reply. New replies are no longer allowed.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.