Why do some Catholics get angry and leave the Church and some get angry and Stay?


#1

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this is a mystery to me… Why someone like me who gets angrier than *** with certain things going on in the Church… but I never leave… I know the RCC is the one established by Christ so i guess that’s one reason… but i also LOVE the Real Presence… the Mass, etc.

yet others “find fault with the doctrines” (so they say anyhow) and leave… ?? :confused:

I’m talking about people who claim to know the teachings of the Church… I don’t see how you can be catechized and experience the good things of the Church and then leave.

:confused::confused:


#2

Being truly Catholic takes work. It’s not a “feel good” religion which unfortunately is what many want. Many claim to love the Church but find the its tenets difficult to truly live out each day. They find fault instead of understanding that there is much we will never fully comprehend until we reach eternity. Many fall into the arms of the "feel good"churches that profess to know the Bible, which Catholics have no knowledge, and lead them away to fully and better educate them.

Personally, many in my family have fallen away from the Church simply because the found a easier path to follow. They tend to keep their anger and wail against the Church to anyone who will listen.


#3

Because the diamond is unblemished,perfect and shines through with it’s fruits while the mount is continually in need of repair and correcting.

The Institution while being maintained by man is not immune to his influences of social unrest,bickering and the sinful baggage he chooses to carry with him.

If there were no more people on earth, the Church would still exist. Only until He who laid the cornerstone says it is demolished, will it be, and people having been trying to for ages and it’s still around.

I think that’s a source of pride if there ever was one. :thumbsup:

Andy


#4

It’s no mystery to me. Because the church is seemingly hostile to “singles.” No prob if you’re married, have kids, some sense of fellowship…no prob there. But, if you’re single and trying sincerely and earnestly to stay Catholic? It takes a lot of effort, and it’s frustrating that singles are “invisible” in most parishes. Seems to be common sense for me - it’s easy to rip on “fallen away” Catholics, but not-so-easy to take a step back and ask yourself, “Was that fallen-away Catholic a single who felt more welcomed elsewhere?”


#5

Having children and teaching them the Catholic faith is difficult and takes a lot of effort! Being single has its own difficulties and is not an easy cross to bear, but some churches, outside of the Catholic Church seem to be more welcoming, but they do not have the fullness of the Catholic Church: ie; the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. They make you feel welcome and they they fill an emotional void , but they miss out on the main idea/promise of the Catholic Mass, the real presence of Jesus in the Bread and Wine which is changed into the Body and Blood of Jesus. If you truly KNOW your faith you can understand this; if you do not understand this then perhaps your knowledge is less than you thought. Do not take this as a slight or put down, but endeavor to learn your faith and to practice it truly.


#6

The TRUTH…

When you have it you know it and once you do, you have two choices; live it or choose to live without it.

Once you find it and choose to live without it, it is a miserable life, indeed.

You choose to deny that cross, you will find yourself bumping into it over and over again, which intensifies your anger with it. You know there is no way around it.

Having children and teaching them the Catholic faith is difficult and takes a lot of effort! Being single has its own difficulties and is not an easy cross to bear, but some churches, outside of the Catholic Church seem to be more welcoming, but they do not have the fullness of the Catholic Church: ie; the presence of Jesus in the Eucharist. They make you feel welcome and they they fill an emotional void , but they miss out on the main idea/promise of the Catholic Mass, the real presence of Jesus in the Bread and Wine which is changed into the Body and Blood of Jesus. If you truly KNOW your faith you can understand this; if you do not understand this then perhaps your knowledge is less than you thought. Do not take this as a slight or put down, but endeavor to learn your faith and to practice it truly.

If you choose to live it, it is a harder life, yet.

You choose to pick that cross up, you will find that it gets heavier and heavier everyday. You find yourself finding anyway you can to lighten it. Just when you are about to give up though, you find your strength renewed by graces bestowed by those gifts our Lord most mercifully gave through His Most Holy Church and the Sacraments. Surprised the load isn’t lightened but intensified with renewed vigor we stagger forth.


#7

Interesting question… I find myself in the same place as we speak and wondering: should I leave and be mad? Or stay and be mad? But I think there is definitely a difference in finding fault with the doctrine versus finding fault in what the people of the church do with that doctrine. In my case, it is not the doctrine, but what the people do with the doctrine that has me on edge.

And I will give you a specific example. It was mentioned that the single person feels unwelcomed and goes elsewhere. Well, we’re a family and I have never felt more unwelcomed at church in my life. As far as I know, doctrine still dictates that birth control is immoral, even within the confines of marriage. Yet, when I attend church with my 3 children aged 4 and under after just 5 years of marriage: we are met with glares, and pamphlets at the entrance telling us that if it’s not working out taking the children to mass, we should just take a break and try again in a few months. Another line says that if a particular church is not family-friendly, consider skipping mass or having your spouse go to one mass and you another one. Certainly NOT family-friendly… “For Crying Out Loud” printed by The Considerate Catholic.

And then I look around, there are NUMEROUS married Catholics that are our age with just 1 or 2 children. Am I to believe that they have the self-control to follow NFP rules to produce those perfect families while they glare at us struggling to do the right thing by bringing our children to Jesus? And do you think I’ve found more than 1 other family at the parish who is willing to support us with NFP so we can follow the true calling of the church? No. Do you think we intended to have 3 children so close together? No.

The message to me: if you choose to follow what is supposedly the true and infallable doctrine, make sure you don’t bring the result to church or expect support from anyone on it! And DON’T ask questions about why 90% of Catholics don’t follow their own doctrine. Obviously, we all fall short… I’m not saying I expect any community to be perfect, I know none of us ever will be… but continually disregarding a major premise of the church on a regular basis? While casting judgment on those of us who are actually trying the best we can?

I can’t say that I will waiver in continuing to try to do follow the doctrine of the church… But will I continue to surround myself with such contradiction from others who believe it’s the truth, yet don’t actively embrace it? I’m not sure… I suppose I have to in order to meet the other requirements of the church.

Or just give it all up for now and then maybe when we’re past our child-bearing years, I will go back and get annoyed with all the young children there and continue the cycle! Just kidding…

So I suppose I’ve given no leads as to WHY some will choose to stay and some will choose to go…


#8

im kinda sad you think the church is seemingly holstile to singles. you must have had a bad experience. i guess i was fortunate that i ran into so many good spiritual catholics when i converted from protestantism. im not only single im divorced ( double whammy). you may want to try what i did. Volunteer Volunteer
Volunteer! this is the fastest way to develope life long fellowship with wonderful people. married,single whatever. even if people are stand offish at first just help out where you can. you will find that people will warm up to you soon enough reguardless of your marrital
situation. ive found it more of a blessing being single and serving,and have made some wonderful catholic frienships along the way. p.s. if your lonley try buying a puppy or a dog. or a cat if you prefer. pets are excellent company! but please dont let being single turn you off to the one true church. believe me, if you go protestant its worse. :slight_smile:


#9

:eek:

You already know this, but this is WRONG WRONG WRONG!! Not just the part I emphasized (which is scary), but the whole sentiment. You’re welcome at my parish any time, and I thank you for being a witness to the truth of the teachings of the Church.

This is so true! Plus when you volunteer, you are building up the Church.

It is true that as a single person, you’ll probably have to sit through a bunch of “how great parents are” and “this is how to live your marriage vocation” homilies, but most people are married, so why shouldn’t there be homilies for them? (I’m single myself.) If you feel singles are being ignored, you might bring it up with the pastor and see if you can come up with some ideas, from a homily (if the pastor thinks it’s a good idea) to a regular gathering.

To the subject of the thread: I think a lot of people (Catholic AND non-Catholic) have been raised with some funny ideas about religion. It seems to me that if you’re basing your religion on feelings rather than truth, then you aren’t looking for religion, but for a social club. So the reasons for staying or leaving depend on whether you are thinking of your religion as a religion or as a social club. And I’d add another reason–some people think of themselves as “racially” Catholic (in a manner more appropriate, IMO, to Judaism). So here’s what I’ve come up with. Any of the following groups may be angry, or they may not.

  1. Some people leave the Church because they think it’s not true. They may be poorly catechised, or they may just make incorrect judgments. (Obviously, as a Catholic, I think they have made the wrong choice!)

  2. Some people leave the Church because they get more “uplift” in a Protestant service. They equate religious feeling with religious truth in some way. They are almost certainly poorly catechised. Lots of people are. :frowning: I was myself.

  3. Some people leave the Church because they aren’t willing to follow her moral teachings, and think that because modern society assumes that it is not possible to follow the Church’s teachings, the Church must be wrong.

  4. Some people stay in the Church even though they aren’t willing to follow her moral teachings, and think that because modern society assumes that it is not possible to follow the Church’s teachings, the Church must be wrong. They fall into a couple of groups, both of which probably suffer from poor catechesis:
    a. Some try to change the Church from inside. They may not understand the difference between dogma and discipline, and therefore not know what is possible to change and what isn’t.
    b. Some just pick and choose what teachings to follow. They may have been taught (wrongly) that their conscience is a sufficient guide, no matter how well or poorly formed, even when it goes against Church teachings.

  5. Some people stay in the Church even though they don’t seem to know/care about her teachings and don’t particularly think that what the Church says about herself is true, because they think that Catholicism is some sort of requirement for continuing to be of Italian, Irish, Polish, etc. descent. In some ways they are more dangerous than a lot of other types, because they think that as an Irish-American (or whatever–I’m picking on the Irish because I’m of Irish descent myself) they have to be Catholic, and therefore it is “up to” the Church to be something that they will like. I think it’s possible this explains a lot of the “Catholics for Free Choice” and others like them, where you tend to think, “If they feel that strongly about it, why don’t they leave the Church? If they believed that the Church was what she says she is, then they’d have to change their stance on abortion (or women’s ordination, or whatever). So why on earth do they stay??”

  6. Some people stay in the church because they believe that the Catholic Church is the one true church, but they want to be the ones to decide what she teaches. These people are just confused or don’t know how to think logically.

  7. Of course there are people who are angry because bad things have happened to them in the Church. I think mostly this sort leave. I have a friend who was treated badly because of her race, for example. And of course there are abuse victims. And while I feel a great deal of sympathy for these people, they have to realize (someday) that the existence of bad Catholics does not make the teachings of the Church less true. In the meantime they are hurting themselves by cutting themselves off from the Church.

This is all just my thoughts, and probably there are lots more groups than this. When I left the Church, I thought I was in group 1, but looking back, I was really in group 2. That said, I wasn’t particularly angry, just muddle-headed.

–Jen


#10

Good question, “distracted”.

My humble opinion… those that leave are often misinformed by outside sources. And for some reason, they start to believe misinformation and they let it “get to them”. So, they leave. :frowning:

I once heard a saying… “You don’t leave Jesus… because of Judas”. It made sense to me. I started to think… “who could ‘Judas’ be… in the Church?”. To me, “Judas” could be scandals, or misbehavior within the Church.

Are those things ever a good reason to leave? I don’t happen to think so. :nope: The Mass will always be… THE MASS. The Sacraments, will always be the Sacraments (Lord, please send us holy priests :gopray: ).

The ONLY thing that anyone accomplishes, by leaving the Catholic Church… is that they deprive themselves of life giving graces. How sad.

The Church Militant is made up of HUMAN beings. So, we know… that sin will be present, until Our Lord returns. But He promised us… that the “gates of hell” would NOT prevail against His Church.

He said it. I believe it. I’m staying, no matter what. It is through the perseverance of faithful Catholics… that Our Lord maintains His Church on earth, with His grace. Faithful priests, faithful religious, and faithful laity. We are His servants. :slight_smile: God bless. :slight_smile:


#11

Some people want the easy way out.


#12

A Catholic who doesn’t like children is no Catholic at all :mad:

I’m very sorry for what you’re going through; maybe it’s time to find another parish.

My mom went through the same thing: young mother, about 22 iirc, had two children (including me!), was going to this parish full of suburban yuppies, constantly got mean looks, everyone seemed to assume she was an “unwed teenage mother” (she wasn’t), etc. It actually caused her to lose faith (which she has regained). So I’d say definitely find another parish.


#13

i couldn’t leave if i wanted to… and i rarely want to… (only when i meet a liberal priest or some other anomoly)… :mad:

i am “trapped” because the RCC is the Church Christ established…

and it is a lovely trap anyhow… Mere humans cannot ruin the Catholic faith… but it seems that some humans let that happen… I can understand leaving a particular Catholic Church and going to anotoher one… because the priest is liberal or whatever… but to leave entirely… that is odd to me… I think the main reason is that people don’t know the Faith… They tell themselves they have options… that they really don’t have… (in the eyes of God… in the interests of truth)…

its like saying you can choose your parents…:smiley:


#14

i think that’s why they wail so loudly… those who have left… Its because they feel guilty… They know… somwehre inside they have done the wrong thing…

If they didn’t feel that way, i would think something was wrong with them…


#15

the only time i ever “left” was when i was young and stupid (redundant) :smiley:

i was uncatechized…

again, i don’t u/stand those who are catechized and leave… the only reason i can comprehend is ignorance… which is the reason i ask the Q…

what is really baffling is priests who leave… They know more than most Catholics…

then there are the priests who don’t leave but might as well for all the non-Catholic stuff they teach… :mad:


#16

no ALL people want the easy way out… :Dbut some are willing to forego their wants so as to truly have Jesus… and you have to do that… You have to give up certain things to follow Jesus…

those things aren’t worthy of our concern but it seems few realize this… until they’re on their deathbeds or something…


#17

=distracted;5805975].

this is a mystery to me… Why someone like me who gets angrier than *** with certain things going on in the Church… but I never leave… I know the RCC is the one established by Christ so i guess that’s one reason… but i also LOVE the Real Presence… the Mass, etc.

yet others “find fault with the doctrines” (so they say anyhow) and leave… ?? :confused:

I’m talking about people who claim to know the teachings of the Church… I don’t see how you can be catechized and experience the good things of the Church and then leave.

:confused::confused:

Wonderful question! Thanks:thumbsup:

The diference in “knowing” the doctrines and accepting them can be as far apart as The east is from the west:D

It’s not head knowlwdge that matters as much as Faith, Hope and Love. Many of the 2000 year old Doctrines and Dogma’s of the Catholic Church find sparce sopport and belief in this "Me, Mine and NOW! " society we are a part of.

Dissent has been raised to an art form and is seen by some as far more than an personal option, to many it has become [in grevious error] there own version of a “moral obligation.” A somehow inherited right?

The issues and public clerical and Episcopal desent of Humane Vitae, has grown and prospered just as Pope Paul VI said it would. Contraception i have heard is practiced [It’s a Mortal sin!] by some 90% of self professed catholics. and there are as many Catholics getting abortions and divorces and non-catholics.

The unauthorized modifications to the NO Mass further complicate the issue of Obedience to the Pope and Magesterium. If So many Bishops, priest and religious can do there own thing; what’s to stop the laity?

Anger, darn right:thumbsup:

But the Catholic Church still remains the only place I can find the Very real Christ. And it is in regullarly doing so that allows me to endure abuse after abuse. Knowing in the end; Christ remains in charge.

Even with all our problems, disent, disobedience and failings, the Catholic Church clearly remains not simply the best option; but The Only Reasonable Option!

May God grant us pardon, mercy and peace

Pat


#18

“distracted” You are so right! I actually fell away from the faith for about 10 years. But even during that time… I had a catch phrase… “I was born a Catholic and I will die a Catholic” (born, meaning… I was baptized as an infant… for those who will jump on that statement :smiley: ).

Once baptized into the faith… Our Lord sets His seal on the soul… and it is irrevocable. That’s why I always take issue with people who say… “I used to be Catholic”. Poor souls. They don’t seem to realize that they are STILL Catholic… even if they’re not practicing.

We must pray for them. God bless you, “distracted”. I always enjoy your posts.

MarieVeronica


#19

I get aggravated as can be with certain things in my parish; nothing doctrinal at all, but there is a big clique of people who have known each other for years, and if you aren’t in that group, you’re ignored. I don’t think it is intentional, but it still happens.
Anyway, I can’t leave the Church; I’m trapped. What else is there? :stuck_out_tongue:


#20

Hi friends,

I suspect that it is only a small percentage of people who leave the CC out of anger and or fustration. All though this no doubt does exist.

Far more leave because of sloth. Many make no effort to learn there faith, see somthong like a fence with what seems to be greener grass on the other side, and "with nothing to lose [only there very souls] move on to “greener grass.”

It is a lack of Faith, a lack of Wisdom and a complete lack of courage that moves them along.

The gate to heaven is VERY narrow, the road is up-hill, steep and rocky, and the crosses we are given to carry, because we don’t seeks Gods assistance are extremely heavy. But Oh! The rewards for those who pursevere:thumbsup:

The me and my gods of lust, power, greed, are recruiting and seemingly winning because it feels good, I get it now, and its only wrong if I say its wrong! For I am a god!

But there always has been a price to pay, and the choice is play now and pay later, or pray now and later accept eternal life with Christ! :rolleyes: Doen’t seem like such a hard choice after all;)

Love and prayers,


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