I’m not sure if this were to right place to post my question - I hope someone would answer my question on Catholic Answers Live and post the video on Youtube as I’m living outside the US and can’t phone in.
The question is here:
Why does God create men who are disabled?
I have this question in mind because I have always been unhappy with my short stature as well as lack of talent in music and sports since childhood. As a 22-year-old male I sometimes feel miserable thinking that I don’t look like the many young handsome men whom I met or see on TV and movies. I feel inferior although I know no one is perfect. Consequently, I lapsed into masturbation and gay porn. I know I should cherish the many graces which I have, but somehow I can’t accept myself. I did well at school in the past as academic achievements were proofs of my value of existence, but right now I feel my cutting edge is waning. I feel I’m too geeky though at times when my hobbies are different from my peers - Latin, Philosophy, Theology, those sort of too-serious things.
Sorry for my ramble… Thanks for reading my post!
I know I will become healthy (especially eradication of masturbation and pornography) only if the root of the problem is solved - otherwise Satan would just continue to attack my weakness.
Many men have been shorter than average and done great things in their lives. One of Hollywood’s most famous “tough guys,” James Cagney, was only 5’2".
It’s not your height nor your interests that are holding you back, it’s your feelings about yourself.
Get off the porn, join a club or two with other people with the same interests. Get involved at your parish. Do some charity work, and so on. IOW, take your mind off your “problems” and get on with life.
If you feel you can’t do anything about how you feel, get counseling. There’s no shame in getting help when you need it.
Your not disabled: your just short as are lots of men everywhere. Take yourself to a VA Hosital. where you will find plenty of men who would praise God…just to be short.
Porn and masturbation are choices in most cases and have little to do with being short. This is something you can overcome with lots of intent and prayer. If being short were a disability a lot of men would be drawing disability checks from the government.
Let your brain and intellect, heart and soul, make you taller than the average man. Peace.
I hope God will guide you towards a path in life, or make clearer a purpose he has for you. I can empathize. I am 29 years old and I have a physical disability that affects my legs. I could never do too much in the sports realm so I took to reading books. The teachers when I was in grammar school would always get on my case to read more fiction and “age appropriate” material. I enjoyed biographies, history, science, religious material, I was reading at a college level at a very young age. I had a very hard time relating to my peers and felt very alone. The people I would carry on extended conversations with would be teachers. I’ve had a hard time in the past few years as my physical situation has changed and worsened and I sit being unable to work a full-time job and hoping for Social Security assistance. I can suggest a few things from my own experience. Counseling definitely helps me. It can be discouraging at first to find that counselor that clicks with you. If you go to the Psychology Today website you can find ones in your area and they often post little profiles so you can see if their personality fits you. Also, see if there are volunteer opportunities that fit you. I’ve found one of my growing passions has been helping other people with disabilities. It’s comforting to find someone who is not talking from just college education, but has walked the same path as you and knows what it feels like to be disabled, discouraged, etc. Also there is a website called “MeetUp”. It is basically hobby groups that people form to share various interests. No pressure type stuff, it’s a good tool for finding people in your area with similar interests (or just get together and do something like board games). There is a group I see at the local coffee shop every week that gets together to chit chat and play Monopoly. They are all ages. I will say a prayer for you. I hope you find something. By the way, it’s not that bad being short; my girlfriend is 4’9" and we share the same disability
Try giving thanks to our Lord Jesus Christ for the uniqueness that is you, and all the talents he gave you.
I know many not too tall people who are gifted and confident in themselves. And, by the way, we need people who have hobbies such as Latin, Philosophy, and Theology. Nothing wrong with that gift.
It is an interesting question, it is my understanding that we are not to “test” our God,
But he is always there for our questions when we fall into sin and regret our actions. I’ve asked publicly (with very much regret), why good practicing Catholics are often faced with limited options involving beautiful women. Some are successful, and some can look at pornography prior to nudity and wonder “why is this beautiful creation that God made available to making this video and not myself?”
It is good to go to confession and make mention of your addictions, both past and present. If you don’t believe you can control it in the future, it is best to still confess these addictions. You are welcome to add prayers of anxiety, just stay true to yourself and homosexuality for older persons is grim, unlike what is seen in pornography. See the movie “Philadelphia” with Tom Hanks. It is not as it seems, fight it, even in times where you give in, believe in yourself, small steps, and know there are people praying for individuals in your situation everyday.
I feel for you… we have a saying here… reality bites!
…sadly, only old time hollowood made shows/programs with run-of-the-mill people (I think they were using family/connections); then the explosion took place and only “perfect” actors and actresses were used… the whole entertainment industry went to the “perfect chiseled features…” to the point of air-brushing (manipulation of pics), etc.
…pornography kicked in and females lost their natural beauty and the plastic and inflated woman filled the culture… and eventually the world…
…it is a sad reality; you are not the first person nor the last to feel as you do: unappreciated and disvalued because you are not chiseled perfection…
…now, consider what you feel and what you have allowed yourself to experience (become)… did you know that there are people that have no sight, are unable to speak, have missing limbs, have been born with mental disorders, and are handicapped by other means (alcohol, drugs, and a multitude of ailments and behaviors)?
…it is up to you to allow your imperfections to rule you… every one of us have our own trials and difficulties to overcome… look at those in the entertainment industry… they allow drugs, alcohol, and immorality to take over their lives… some even commit suicide by lifestyle… others just simply go on multiplying their errors and burning themselves out… ever heard of Elizabeth Taylor?.. she was a beauty who ended up on a spiral to hell by embracing falsehood… her beauty did not make her the happiest woman in the world…
Now, did God Love her more because of her beauty? Does God Love you less because you are not as handsome as she was beautiful?
Your human dignity does not come from society’s acceptance of your physical attributes; it comes from the fact that you were Created in the Image and Likeness of God.
…here’s your “makeover:” rebuild your life according to God’s Designated Dignity–stop embracing sin and the things that will break your spirit and will dishearten you (falsehood); be true to God and to yourself. Learn to accept who you are… here’s a secret: people will react to you in the manner that you comport yourself… if you feel like a looser… the haters and vultures will eat you up; if you believe you are a winner (Created in the Image and Likeness of God, with all the Dignity that entails) people may not love your physical limitations but they will respect you for your confidence and your security (self-assured that God Loves you as you were Created–‘in the Beginning… and God saw that it was Good!’).
anonymous1995, I hope you take to heart some of what the folks here have been saying. There is more to life than what we are not. We can’t focus our attentions in comparing ourselves to those who might have what we want. No one has everything despite what it might feel like sometimes.
Take it from a guy who is twice your age and whose appearance is decidedly subpar, change what you can and accept what you can’t. Don’t brush aside the things you enjoy and excel at like philosophy, latin, and theology. Embrace them! The absolute best of luck to you.
Now all that being said I unfortunately do have to broach the theological question being asked here, and I hope the other folks can chime in. How does Leviticus 21:16-23 fit in this matter?
16The Lord said to Moses, 17“Say to Aaron: ‘For the generations to come none of your descendants who has a defect may come near to offer the food of his God. 18No man who has any defect may come near: no man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed; 19no man with a crippled foot or hand, 20or who is a hunchback or a dwarf, or who has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles. 21No descendant of Aaron the priest who has any defect is to come near to present the food offerings to the Lord. He has a defect; he must not come near to offer the food of his God. 22He may eat the most holy food of his God, as well as the holy food; 23yet because of his defect, he must not go near the curtain or approach the altar, and so desecrate my sanctuary. I am the Lord, who makes them holy.’ ”
Height is not a disability. You are compact - just the height you are intended to be. How many times do you crack you head on something? Rarely, I’ll bet. Ask a tall guy about that. Don’t wish for height, as this world is not designed for the tall.
As to the rest of your issues, God does not see you as you see yourself. Time to conform your will more closely with God’s. Remove the near occasions of sin in your life - those things that trigger the impulse to abuse the self.
At the cancer facility where I am treated, there is a woman employee with severe polio in both legs. She must walk with arm braces, and slowly. She gets soaked if it rains. Yet, she has a wonderful attitude and always smiles when greeted.
Be thankful for what you have, not despairing over what you do not.
I look like a confused sewer rat, so I get the pain. Not disabled though.
I don’t have amazing advice, but I would say to focus your energy on something like academics, sports etc. Improve yourself as a person. The fact that you like philosophy/theology etc is honestly quite amazing. I personally like a guy who is into these things as compared to stereotypically manly stuff.
…Abel’s Offering was the best of his herd; because the economy of the Old Covenant required Sacrificial Offerings, Yahweh God requested that only the best be Offered; consequently, the Priests that would make the Offering had to have similar qualities… now, note that even those who were not officially performing the Priestly rites were equally afforded a place at the table!
Are you asking, really, why people are different from each other? God does not micromanage DNA and life circumstance.
Ability and disability are relative terms. Autistic individuals have far better memories than I ever will, for example. A color blind friend once told me, “you can see lots of colors, but you’ll never appreciate one that I see, which I’ll call bright beige.”
God creates the soul, and all souls are equal. Yours is beautiful. Nourish it.