Why does God have a specific framework for sex?


I’m wondering why God has set a specific framework for the sexual union. Why has God limited the sexual union to a man and a woman after their marriage? And why does this act also have to be open to life?


God made humans male and female. He did this for the purpose of reproduction. The male sexual anatomy is designed in very specific ways to complement the female sexual anatomy in order to facilitate procreation. That’s human nature.

It’s also human nature that man is a social animal, and that newly born humans have a ridiculously long maturation period (over a decade, compared to a year or so for, say, dogs). Hence procreation (the creation of new life) entails a continuing obligation to care for, raise, educate, etc., one’s newborn child. Similarly, if I get a woman pregnant, she will need to be looked after and cared for during pregnancy and after, so I also have continuing obligations to her as well as our children. Hence, marriage, which is that continuing obligation.

It’s not that God “limited” the sexual union to man and woman, as if God arbitrarily decreed from the void that sodomy is bad. Male-and-female sex *just is *what a sexual union is. Sodomy is not a union, it’s a simulacrum of such a union. And it’s a perverse simulacrum precisely because it is contrary to the natural symbolism of the human sexual faculty, which is ordered toward the communication of new life.


Hi YosefYosep,

You and about everyone else on the planet wonder the same thing! :slight_smile: Sexual struggles can be hard, and we often times forget the “basics”, so to speak, when we are going through them. So it’s always good to return the basic idea of morality and why we’re here to help reassure ourselves.

Morality is focused on a key principle: That everything is ordered to it’s proper end. Or in other words, that everything is fulfilling the purpose that God intended for it.

Take drugs, for instance. God gave us the ability to create drugs so that we could improve our health in times of sickness. Sometimes, in doing so, we may experience a “high” or some side effect. This is okay, as we’re using the drugs to ultimately become healthy. But if we abuse the drugs purely to get high, then we are not using them for their original purpose that God intended. When we don’t use things for their true purpose, we pervert them and ultimately harm ourselves and others.

The same goes with sex. God created sex both for procreation and to unite a man and woman in marriage. When we abuse them, we accomplish neither and harm ourselves and others. When we use them correctly, we become happy and holy people who grow closer to God.

Hope that helps!


sw85 explained this quite well. It is through revelation that we have come to know God’s framework for human beings, our behavior and our destiny. This revelation is combined with knowledge gained about biology and psychology. Natural law is “written in the human heart” and in the same way, God’s framework for marital union is written into the shape, form and function of our bodies.

Through revelation we know that God commanded us to be fruitful and multiply. Through unbroken witness in salvation history and through Christ’s own words we know that man and woman become one flesh in marriage. By tradition and history we know that the family is the fundamental building block of society, and we know that the more a family looks like that which God has planned for us, the better it will serve a societal and spiritual purpose for building up the Body of Christ.

The “specific framework for sex” is not something that has been arbitrarily decreed or randomly assigned by the Church to make our lives unhappy. It is the logical conclusion drawn from rigorous analysis by the foremost experts on human nature. It is a beacon of hope in a world that needs to hear good news about God and the family, and the promise of future glory as we establish the Kingdom of God on Earth.


Hi YosefYosep!
If we have a look at what the pill has brought since it’s become widely available, sex has become a lot more recreational. When I was a kid, society frowned on having sex before marriage and living together before being married. That was the standard, on tv, in music, in neighborhoods, in schools. Today it seems that having sex if you are dating (or if you meet in a bar that night) is perfectly ok.

When you look at the fruit of what this has brought us, we see…

  1. A huge increase in the number of unplanned pregnancies. Huge. Then the huge demand for abortion to ‘fix the problem’. How many millions of abortions have happened since it’s legalization? This is not good for babies obviously, and the murder of these innocents is not good for a nation because God does exist, and He sees what your nation is doing.

  2. A huge amount of people living in poverty are young women with babies who have been abandoned by their boyfriends. This is not good for babies, not good for women, and not good for young men to be fathering babies before they are in a situation where they intend to care for them. It’s not good for a society that must support these choices.

  3. People infected with STD’s have skyrocketed, plus the type of STD’s have dramatically increased. How can we even measure the impact of this on society? Look at AIDS and what it has brought us. Again, not good for people, or a nation.

  4. How much do you think it costs a nation to pay for all of the above? What do you think we could use the money for if it was magically put into a bank account? How much do you suppose it could be? Do you think that lost revenue could go toward a good? Of course, and with wise use of this money, a huge blessing could be brought down on nations.

God had a very wise plan in framing sex to be within the confines of marriage. It’s good for women, for men, for babies, for family life, for the nations and their finances. We can easily see what happens when we go outside of God’s plan, and it’s a disaster.

God bless and guide you today.


I liked all the answers I read so far. Thanks you guys for stating it gently! It’s nature, the way God intended. Look at the body and see how it works. It works that way for a natural reason. God’s design.


I think it’s for the same reason He gave us plants to eat, seas to refresh us, stars to admire, air to breathe…

If He chose to create humans to procreated in a different way, who are we to question His motives. He’s designed the universe in such a way that we can see how His creating makes sense, in particular, why male-female relationship is so important. Had He made a 3-gender requirement for procreation, we’d see ample evidence in nature to support this and still, who’d we be to question His thought process.

In other words, since God decided that marriage is for male-female, that sex should lead to life and that premarital sex is forbidden, then, He’s right. Let’s carry our crosses to be closer to Him.


When God designed sex, He made it to be the super glue of marriage. When dating, it’s a time to think soberly, to look at the partner to see if they would be a good life partner, good spouse, good parent. When the super glue is applied before it’s time, the hormones kick in, and it’s shocking at what people will dismiss when there’s big red flags. When you apply the hormones, it’s hard to think straight, see clearly. There are a lot of people who are married some years and say What the heck was I thinking?? Sex blinds us to stay with a person we really shouldn’t be with. There’s great merit too when a couple honors God by remaining chaste in the relationship. Deciding on a life partner is the biggest decision someone can make. It’s very easy, with the pill so available, and the culture so promiscuous, to really screw that up big time.


I like all the answers, but you seem to be asking for God’s motivation in creating the universe the way He did. How is ANYONE to know WHY He did what He did at the dawn of time? All we know if He did, and that should be enough.


That’s got a very simple answer: love. John 3:16 is your answer. God loved us so He gave us life and He wants us to have it abundantly, so He sent Jesus.


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