Why does God not answer my prayer for my vocation?

I have been praying for my vocation discernment for 2-3 years, I also pray for finding my future spouse if my vocation is marriage. I pray for it nearly everyday already.

At first I felt God called me to follow him and to walk the religious path, but I did not have a monastery that I wanted to enter, then later I found myself want to get married and have my own family more, however until now I do not meet my spouse yet. I am worried, because I am 3x already. I think I do not have time and this age is too old for both religious and marriage already. I feel sad and hopeless and I can do nothing.

Does God really just want me to be single for my life?

Sometimes you just have to wait, as hard as it can be.

We know almost nothing about our LORD’s life until He was 30 to 36 years old.

People marry at older ages all the time these days, and others have joined religious congregations older (e.g. Saint Rita of Cascia).

God only asks you to wait if He knows you have time.


I will pray for your continued discernment.

It would be nice to know everything for sure, but we can’t. When praying, we can expect at least one of 4 replies: yes, no, not yet, or “I have something else in mind for you.”

Perhaps what you need to do at the moment is to live your life to its fullest. Like the old Army slogan: “Be all you can be.” Live in the now, not the possible future.

I don’t know what you mean by 3x - 30? - but that’s not elderly. When I was single & 30 I finally started enjoying my life. Wish I had started earlier. But that’s when I joined the Franciscans & eventually met my husband. Not saying you’ll meet a suitable man if you join a 3rd order - some of the people are pretty strange. :slight_smile:

But if you’re just sitting on your hands waiting for God to tell you what to do, you’re like the servant who buried his talents instead of investing them.

Remember, God answers us in His time, not ours. Be patient, keep praying and be open to God’s voice. “Let Go & Let God”.

God is outside of time.

Your in time.

It may not yet be “time” for you to know or make that choice. Keep praying and seeking.

Praying for you. God loves you. Do not be dismayed or afraid. Trust in him. Perhaps you are where God wants you to be right now. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these other things will be added. Are you not happy with the way things are right now? Or are you just worried that you missed God’s calling? Give these things to Jesus in prayer. For he cares about you even more than you care about yourself. One’s vocation may not always be easily discerned. It may be something we stumble upon in the dark. Or we may already be living it out. There are always reasons for where we are at. If we are not happy we need to ask ourselves in what we are placing our happiness in. Because if it is not in Jesus it will not satisfy us. Even another person can not take the place of Jesus in our hearts. Peace be with you. Be not afraid. God loves you. Trust in him. Ask and you shall receive.

Sometimes in our lives it seems that God gives us such great consolations and other times it seems like he is not there. Who can know the great mystery of God? Who can know the depths of God’s mind? But one thing we do know is that God loves us for he is love. And through our sufferings there is another mystery that we can know that God is love as we suffer for God and enter into and share in his suffering for us on the Cross. This is a mystery that the world cannot know because it does not know him. God first and foremost wants us to be saved and to help save others. This is our primary calling in life. It is a vocation we all have regardless of marital status. I

I also recommend meditating and Praying on 1 Cor 7:25-40. Pay attention to this verse:

"I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. 33But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, 34and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. 35I say this for your own benefit, not to lay any restraint upon you, but to promote good order and to secure your undivided devotion to the Lord. "

Here Paul says first and foremost ‘I want you to be free from all anxieties’. Imagine Jesus saying that to you here through Paul. God doesn’t want us to be anxious about our vocation or anything for that matter.

Next he says our most important calling in life is to be first focused on the Lord above anything else including marital concerns. For some of us that may mean living the single life would be better because we can more focus on him. Whereas we might become distracted otherwise. For others it may involve finding a good partner who can help them focus on the Lord, that is to be equally yoked. Ideally you would want a marriage partner who is going to help you get to heaven, not distract you from heaven. And if you do get married then you have to provide for a family such that material concerns become greater. Paul says that in their current distress he wanted them to be free from these concerns and focus on the Lord.

Who knows what the future will bring or even how long we will live. That is why our first concern is on the Lord.

Remember unmarried does not equal unloved or forgotten. God loves us more than anyone can. Ultimately, in heaven no one will be married except as the bride of Christ. And God is able to provide the people in our lives that we need.

“And he said to them, “Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or wife or brothers or parents or children, for the sake of the kingdom of God, who will not receive many times more in this time, and in the age to come eternal life.”” (Luke 18:29-30)

A well chosen spiritual director can help provide clarity.

How old are you?

I have been praying for my vocation discernment for nearly two years, but I haven’t had a definitive answer yet. Is it hard? Yes. But it takes patience. Trust me, I know. It’s easier said than done.

One of many things I regret is that before I returned to the Church I really wasted my life, being somewhat focused on marrying and otherwise just completely unfocused.

What the Church tells us is to live each day in the situation we are in. Perhaps God has a plan for you which will not be known to you until some time in the future, but in the meantime, you need to follow that general rule. What can you do for God today? What can you plan to do for Him in the nearish future? What can you do to help your neighbors?

What can you do about your desire to have children? Can you volunteer to help children?

And what do *you *want to do? Write a novel, study architecture, learn to ski, work with wood… ? Do those things: enjoy God’s creation!

Don’t limit yourself by focusing on two futures. Do what you can with what you’ve got.

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.