Why does it matter

I like one of my guy friends because he is good looking but I am Bisexual and if your going to judge me please don’t because i already know god doesn’t support Bisexuals but who knows all i know is i am attracted to him but am able to control my feelings when i am around him. He works all the time now though so i am wondering if we are still close friends too:o :blush I really do not know why the church thinks it is so bad to be attracted to a guy it doesn’t matter really love is love and if god doesn’t approve of it well thats his problem. He is the one that created people and creatures and some people are just attracted to men and woman and i happen to be one of them. idk why but i am and if you think it is Evil that is your issue. I think it is normal and not wrong. I am sick of hearing about how in the church it is not accepted that is very wrong not accepting someone because of their sexual identity. Who the heck cares anyway.:mad:

Who cares? God does. Do you know why?

I care.

Apart from many other things, it promotes steril sex which has a huge effect on the mentality of society and the way we view: sex, true love, marriage…all of which are at the center of relationships and how we come to know God and eachother…

I think we should all really be caring about it.


Since also does, …well…that closes the argument for me.

Well, I can tell it matters to you or else you wouldn’t have written about it. The church isn’t against the *attraction, *it the actions that matter. It’s what you do with your feelings. You say you can control your feelings toward this man. That’s good. God didn’t necessarily create you thisway. Some of this is due to the fallen nature that came from the first sin. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, they let loose all the evil we see today. Why did they disobey? They let temptation take over. They fell for a lie. And God knows that love if it isn’t freely given isn’t love. He doesn’t force us to obey him. He leaves it up to us. When we sin, that is disobey him, we hurt him more than we can imagine. If you have children you know how they sometimes disobey. They want to buck the rules and do things their way. We are not different. God wants to call us his children, for that is what we are meant to be. When we disobey, we are flaunting the rules. Which is never good.

:eek: Are you asking genuinely for an answer, or just wanting to flaunt your defiance? There are people on this forum who will be glad to provide helpful information but it would be wise not to come at them with your metaphorical both barrels loaded . . . just sayin’

Well is name is James and he is incredibly cute and sexy and all but he is a ladies man he just accepts me and he knows i like him like that but he refuses to like me because he likes girls and it hurts because i like him. I know how they say that being gay or Bisexual is hard but it is even harder if the person you like doesn’t like you back the same way. In fact it stinks. I just wanted him to love me or kiss me or something. I want to be loved by someone like that and it honestly never happened and i don’t like being Bisexual i just am it just happened and i don’t know why but it did and i can’t change how i feel. I had brain surgery for untreatable seizures that i no longer have because of the surgery. Did they put like a gay hormone in me when they did the surgery and decide i would make a nice gay or Bisexual man? Or did i just aquire this feeling towards men and woman?

I am not trying to be rude or mean I just assume lots of people that are catholic don’t approve of Bisexual individuals or gay individuals which is why i lashed out kind of sorry.:frowning:

How old are you? Don’t take that as an attack, but you sound like a teenager. If you “are” a teenager it’ll give people here perspective and they can approach you in a more relatable way.

I was thinking the same thing, actually. :confused:

To the OP – being attracted to someone of the same sex isn’t necessarily wrong; it is what it is. What is wrong is ***acting ***on it. To say that if God has a problem with it, that’s His problem is just juvenile mentality right there. It just seems to me that you are posting this to let everyone know you’re bisexual and you don’t care what the Church or anyone else has to say about the matter. As Catholics (which you have identified yourself as up there), we don’t get to pick and choose what we’re going to accept and not accept about what God says and the Church teaches. There are plenty of other denominations who do that, who twist God’s Word to fit their own sinful lifestyles. I see it all the time when people try to make the argument in support of homosexuals when they say that love is love and God wants us to love each other; God makes it VERY clear that homosexual acts are an abomination, period. No sense in sugar-coating it. You say you can control your feelings toward this guy so good for you! Keep controlling them and you’ll be fine. We all have our crosses to bear and I will pray for you because I know this is one of yours.

Catholics don’t think it is evil to be attracted to the same-sex, or both, but that it is disordered. Sexual activities with the same-sex are, however, evil, because God says so. Also, any sexual activities outside of marriage is evil, gay or not. But God also says that only men and women can really be married.

I’m sorry, but that is just the way it is.

And I agree with the previous person, you seem young for a “man”, given your grammar. How old are you?

:shrug: I don’t understand the point of this thread. Are you genuinely looking for information or are you just trying to assert your own deeply flawed opinion and to start arguments? If it’s the former, your posts do not have to contain detailed accounts of who you’re attracted to and why. You could simply ask questions. If it’s the latter reason, and I suspect it is, then count me out. We had a troll here last night. We don’t need another one.

I’d like CAF to be a troll-free zone. :thumbsup:

Well, I can give a long and detailed answer as to why it matters but other members could talk about that. Or, you can do a search on this topic.

I’m not sure what the purpose of the thread is. But not everybody is going to start casting stones at you. For one thing, I have friends who are bisexual and I can understand the attraction. But as tough as this sounds, sexuality does matter. Above all, God is Love and if we truly love him, we should put him before everything else. If He says it matters, it should matter.

Attraction doesn’t always mean love. It’s wonderful if we are able to share physical intimacy with someone we love but that’s not always the case in our world. Love in its essence means being unselfish and wanting everything that’s good for another person. This can get unbearable sometimes since it demands a lot of sacrifices. In fact, it can mean that we get nothing in return from the other person. But Love can transform us and bring us closer to God is Love.

Keep that in mind.

I’m saying this based on my own personal struggles (which is not exactly the same but I can understand your perspective). Your situation does stink but I want to let you know that the Love that most people dream about is not always that easy to obtain and perhaps, not that well-understood.

Love is love, yes, but there are different kinds. One is eros, romantic love, which only truly works between two differing genders, like two puzzle pieces that can only fit into the opposite. For other men, we are meant to practice brotherly love.
Remember, love is what you do, not how you feel.

You’re not the only one who’s been attracted to the same gender. I struggled with that for a long time. One thing about it, it feels natural, like it’s a part of yourself, but it’s not. It’s not who you are, it’s not part of your identity. It’s an attack on your identity as a man.

It’s not likely to be a result of surgery.

In all likelihood, you’re seeing in James what masculine attributes you see yourself as lacking in on some level, and you want to bring that into yourself. But I’m just guessing.

God has no problem with people who are attracted to the same gender(I’m not using the words homosexual or bisexual, as that makes it seem as if it defines you). He has a problem with the actions that mock manhood and our identity as men. You haven’t heard any of what the church has to say if you believe it’s hateful.

Here is what the Church actually teaches.

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.

There’s a support group for those with SSA(same sex attraction) who pray and give advice to each other. You can’t join if still in high school, but you should read the testimonies and read about it right now.


Please look it over.

The Church does NOT think you’re evil because of ANYTHING. The Church DOES support bisexuals, but not bisexuality. PLEASE seek out a Catholic support group for this kind of thing, or Catholic counseling. Or at least do research on what the Church ACTUALLY teaches…

Also, make sure to pray and reflect. You are most certainly not alone.

I would spend more time thinking about this sentiment if I were you. If you’re Catholic, then you should see right away that this is the wrong way of thinking.

you may like him, and are sexually attracted but you are giving in to your sexual lust on obsessing over it, we have all struggle with sexual desires some much more than others whether the desire is toward a member of the same sex it is sexual in nature and interrupts negatively our bond with God

you can try and justify your lusts all you want but you will only be fooling yourself

unasked for advice is seldom heeded but I would suggest fighting your sexual thoughts and desires and focus on living a chaste life unless/until the opportunity of marriage presents itself one that is acceptable and done in the church.

once you free your self from the chains of your sexual desires you can focus on much more important things and bring yourself closer to God

Pax Vobiscum -

I kind of understand the “obsessive” wanting. I have OCD, which means that I sometimes get into a rut obsessing about something. Or someone. Pray for help, God is listening. Understanding that this is wrong is a big step towards getting away from it. Try to find activities that will take you away from him. “Out of sight, out of mind.” You won’t forget him, but if you are drawn away from him you may find more friends to enjoy time with. It’ll be hard work, but God never promised that life would be easy.

Thank you i do not quite understand what all this means but thanks for praying for me much appreciated

If you all must know how old i am im 20 years old and please stop giving me a hard time. I have had brain surgery to get rid of untreatable seizures so i mature slower than the rest of you and your going to have to be patient with me

Catholic man…

Allow me to ask a few questions.

What is your belief about life after death?

What is your belief about our bodies in life after death?

Do you believe that the Catholic Church teaching is based on revealed truth?

I just started a thread on struggles, you may want to join…

DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.