[quote="SMHW, post:15, topic:201170"]
I started to respond to this post earlier but could never quite finish it.
After mulling it over and reading some other posts I am now wondering why you are approaching them?
Do you just generally go around and try to make friends with everyone? Are you wanting more friends for yourself and since you know someone in the group you are looking at them as potential friends? Are they involved in some activities that interest you? Do you want them to have the opportunity to fit in with your friends/activities?
HA HA! No, they are my good friend's friends and I like them and wish they would let me in, so to speak, but I have realized that they are not going to and perhaps I HAVE talked too much about my kids. I didn't think about it before.
I can only tell you that my experience with trying to make friends at my parish has been a mixed bag. Some groups just have people who, frankly, aren't very nice; in such cases it doesn't really matter how much you otherwise have in common. Other groups seem to have reached an optimal number of 'members' and unless someone drops out there just isn't room for anyone new.
I think that this is it too. They have their comfortable number and like it that way.
Some groups have limited need for small talk and then want to move on to pre-existing topics of conversation; you have to pay your dues for a few months before you are allowed to initiate new topics of conversation. Those topics may be highly tied to marital status and presence or absence of children.
I've found that friendships at my parish have developed out of shared involvement in various activities. In my case that mostly means choir. It has also come out of activities for my children. Sometimes the activity has been the only thing I shared with the other people. But other times I have discovered that we share other common interests. But even then, we have not always been able to bridge the differences in our family situations.
I don't share any activities with them b/c I am always busy with my kiddies, so I don't get the chance to know them better.
They probably just feel that they have nothing in common with me. My life is very different and perhaps I come across like I'm gloating about my kids all the time.
I would NEVER feel sorry for them. Being single doesn't make anyone less happy. I know many unhappy women who are married with children.