Why does the Church accept a marriage between a Muslim and Catholic if they are both required to raise children in their own faith?

Hello.

Just incase you say ‘welcome’ or anything, I’m not new to this site, but can’t remember my old details :stuck_out_tongue:

Why does the Catholic church allow marriages which are suited for both Catholics and Muslims? If Muslims are required to raise their children as Muslims and visa-versa, then how can it be a valid marriage?

Thank you for taking your time to read this.

Well, if you have a devout Muslim and a devout Catholic, the answer is that they’re not going to get married because neither would be willing to raise the kids in the others faith.

i dont think a muslims and catholic would date each other any way , most date other catholic or christians

Thank you.

So I assume the only Muslims who would do his would have little faith, or visa versa and wouldn’t mind lying to the Priest/(not sure what the Muslim one is called)?.

My boyfriend is a Muslim, which is why I am asking this question. We’re both upset at the moment at the thought of our relationship having a dead end :crying:

Most of the time, the Catholic, usually a woman, winds up converting to Islam. From most of the stories I’ve heard. Usually, it is encouraged for men to look outside the faith if they are Muslim, for one it is an evangelizing tool they purposefully use, historically have used, and will continue to use as a primary tool.
I’m sorry dear, but this is a dead end. You should only date within the faith if possible, try to make it your priority in the future to not get emotionally wrapped up in someone who will try to convert you or your children from the one true faith.

Why you ask. Its because the church believes you will follow your obligation to Baptize and raise the child in the Catholic faith while the father will let his obligation slide in raising the children as Muslims.

Muslims allow men and not women to go this route because they expect him to be the spiritual head of the family and fulfill his obligations to Islam.

The Church requires a Catholic who wants to marry a non-baptized person to obtain a dispensation from disparity of cult from the Bishop. In order to obtain the dispensation the Catholic must:

*1/ the Catholic party is to declare that he or she is prepared to remove dangers of defecting from the faith and is to make a sincere promise to do all in his or her power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church;

2/ the other party is to be informed at an appropriate time about the promises which the Catholic party is to make, in such a way that it is certain that he or she is truly aware of the promise and obligation of the Catholic party;

3/ both parties are to be instructed about the purposes and essential properties of marriage which neither of the contracting parties is to exclude.*

In the case of a Catholic wanting to marry a Muslim, permission wouldn’t be granted if there were doubt that the Catholic would be free to practice their religion and raise their chidlren as Catholics.

Which country is your boyfriend from? It is almost impossible for a muslim to marry a non-muslim. The non-muslim is obliged to convert to Islam otherwise the family will disown the muslim for marrying a non-muslim.
Muslim/non-Muslim relationships are basically doomed.

A little pain now saves a lot of pain later.

He’s English with Pakistani parents. He said that Muslims are allowed to marry anyone from one of the Abrahamic faiths. Would you say they are doomed only because of the children situation?

I only want him though! I’ve been friends with some Catholics and they’re nothing special- they don’t even practise their faith anyway. My boyfriend is practising, so I can talk to him about this sort of stuff without him getting bored. Religious-wise, I have more in common with him than any one else. The only barrier is the bringing up of children :(.

I may go to a shrine and pray for a miracle lol.

What he’s telling you is theoretical. Ask him how many practising muslims he actually knows who have been allowed to marry a non-muslim.
It is not possible for a practising Catholic and a practising Muslim to marry. Its a contradiction.

canon law actually forbids Catholics to marry non-Christians. A dispensation must be granted by the bishop, and I imagine in countries where this is a common scenario they have pastoral guidelines for so doing, just as there are pastoral concerns when a Catholic marries a devout Jew. That is why at least in the past such permission was rarely granted, because both scenarios, if both parties are devout and fully practicing the tenets of their respective faiths, insist on raising their children in that faith, and moreover there is danger, particularly in a Muslim area, of the Catholic party losing their faith. If that is the case the permission must be denied.

Realistically, a devout Muslim or Jew will rarely marry a Christian who does not convert in any case, because they would be cut off from their faiths and families.
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if this is the case you both need to learn more about the teachings of your respective faiths before your relationship goes any further.

in such cases is the Christian party allowed to retain their faith and raise their children in it? I doubt it. Find out the authoritative teaching from the religious leader of his family’s place of worship, not hearsay.

in my former life as a grad student advisor I encountered literally scores of girls involved in relationships with Muslim boys from various countries as our university has a large international population. In virtually all cases, invariably after marriage the Christian party was pressured to convert, shunned and abused if she did not, and lost all say so about the children. If there were exceptions it was because the boy had broken all ties with his family, country and faith, a rarity.

Thank you for all your replies. I won’t reply to them all but have another question.

You can’t decide not to have children if you want a Catholic marriage. But what if you want children, but only if there’s a resolution as to how they will be brought up?

Wouldn’t that be a bit like people only wanting to have children if they become financially stable?

The children situation is huge - huge for the children and huge for the potential problems it can cause in your marriage.

Yes, and it’s not permitted by the Church. It would require contraception. Your resolution is to raise your children Catholic. There’s no loophole or get out clause.

Forgive me if it’s too intrusive but how do his parents view this? It’s my experience that Pakistani families are very close knit, and, depending on their level of traditionalism, would prefer their children marry someone whose family come from the same area in Pakistan. Or in some cases, the same extended family.

What does your boyfriend say about that? Because Muslims are very much into reproducing, and I doubt if he would agree to delay children until you can convert him or until he agrees to raise the children Catholic. Even if he says he will, expect a change after the children are actually born.

Believe me, I have heard many stories of Western women who married what they thought was a “moderate Muslim,” (which does not exist in Islam, it’s made up by us) only to have him turn into a complete fundamentalist after they were married and especially after she had children. Many women are then abused, the husband sometimes kidnaps the children and removes them to the Middle East. The woman is lucky if she is left alive and without her children, however horrific that seems. Worse fates have befallen women who marry into Islam expecting their husbands to convert.

Unless none of his family believes in the tenets of Islam, they are not going to support his marriage to you. Islam is nothing if it’s not practiced without question and converting is a sign of heresy.

I am sorry that you let things go this far. I would warn you not to take it farther. However much pain you feel now, things could get much, much worse.

I appreciate everyone’s replies, but where did you get this information from? He’s not like that at all. You can’t even afford many children in England. What has made you believe that there is no such thing as moderate Muslims?

What has made you think that?

Of course you can afford large families in the UK. It might be socially frowned upon or whatever but yes, you absolutely can afford large families.

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