I did not necessarily look at this from a woman’s point of view. There is a lot of social pressure that is not useful, and it obscures the dangerous heath problem of an an potential early death from obesity. My mother’s demise due to diabetes has not made me open minded about this.
It must be noted that we are fooling ourselves about how much we should weigh. The insurance company standards have been revised way downward very recently.
About general social things, first an aside, I work shift work now over five years, it pays better than anything I have had. However, my friendships, few that they were, are gone. It is not easy for me to go get a daytime job due to what I know how to do. Which is run a large public facility after hours. It did enable me to consider eating on my own, and face cllosed fast food restaurants after work and the need to feed myself. Losing my Gall bladder was illustative too in terms of fat intake.
If I did get invited to a bi-annual social outing I do not want to be expected to sit down and chow down on fatty meats, sauces,etc. I can bring my own vegetable or fruit based meal, which I do not mind. However, I have found on the occasion of my few outings that people get offended if you come over and only eat what you bring.
This business about others is problematic.Mostly because of my work schedule, I go to bed a 5AM, I have an oatmeal breakfast at
1:15PM. One can imagine if I tend to eat dinnner at midnight and a light soup at seven PM that I am not the ideal dinner guest due to schedule, let alone what I choose to eat. Almost always alone due to work.
Then there is exercise. This was gone for years after I let myself get fatter and fatter out of the Marines. I am walking again. I am getting my bike together. I plan to get to work early and swim as our university has a pool. On my Friday and Saturday days off I want to hike for recreation. In my area there are many history sites. I want to extend this to parking my car and heading up or down history trails twenty five or thirty miles. This part of my life has become greatly signicant.
The benefit of diet is therefore, exercise and activity. These blend together in my definition of health and recreation. While it wuld be wrong to judge a woman for being overweight, forming a relationship involves sharing your greatest interests. I cannot see a couple coming together for Mass, but spending none of their free time together. Nor can I see a man going here and there to the things and events his girlfriend/wife wants and enjoys, only to discover this woman cannot or will not follow along in a major part of your free time interests because she can’t or won’t. If she says, “oh you go ahead and go biking.” Or “Go ahead and go hiking.” How long will it be until youn are asked to give up the active part of your life under the guise of unity in matrimony. It is tragic when things happen to people and handicap cuts into, as is my case or eliminates the active life. However, why enter into a situation when a person is likely to resent you diet, resent your exercise, resent your activties. What is the anwser on the front end when still aquaintances? Should one dive in only to find out these resenments are real, pathological, and deep. I think a “hello good evening” with a turn to walk away is in order. It would certainly be this way for smoking, this is absolute. Similiarly if I encountered a woman with too many drinks in her. This does not sing"get to know me" it says “unstable” With food it is more subtle. However, if I can see my life saving physical activities as some percieved threat to a lady I would by far rather be alone than enter into a situation where my increasing physical actvity level might be perceived as a factor of alienation even a threat.
I do not want to be disingenious. Thisprevious conversation involves a woman I never met, also divorced, who was be directed towards me by two women I work with.
These two women do not like the fact that the Catholic woman I do deal with is 25, much younger than me, from Venezuela and is quite lithe and dancer like. My main thing with her is getting her more involved with the Church again an past Chavez’ “sieze and sell the Churches” in her home country. So My one thing about dealing with somone older and sedentary is speculation. That is alas, another letter.