Why doesn't God answer prayers?


Matthew 7:11 If you, then, evil as you are, know how to give your children what is good, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!

If I can do this why do prayers go unanswered? I’m not asking for money, a car etc. If I pray for humility or charity which must be in God’s will; why does nothing change?

Without God’s help I am doomed but I do not feel His help. My brain is a mess.

I even missed the Holy day of obligation on Friday, managed to sneak to confession on Saturday and then miss mass today.

Life is a nightmare, I am spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically weak but where is the help I cry out for?

Am I supposed to get there on my own?

I feel an eternity in Hell is inevitable.



Prayer for virtues works two ways at the same time.
You must cooperate with God and deliberately use those virtues.

Jesus told the apostles:
‘This one cannot be cast out except by prayer and fasting.’

Pope Francis does a specific type of fasting for Our Lady, he does not watch any tv.

So you could give up coffee on wednesdays and Fridays. Give up sugar, or a favourite tv show,

Fasting puts the body in subjection to the Spirit.
If you can say no to something material, you can say no to sin.


I do these sorts of fasts already and it just seems futile.

I must be cooperating with virtues as I am the one asking for them?


What you need to do is pray every day.
The catechism says: ‘Grace is a gift we receive in prayer.’
Hence if we do not pray we do not have God’s grace.

Saint Padre Pio said:
‘Those who pray are safe.
Those who pray sometimes are in danger.
Those who never pray, are lost.’

Why did he say this? Because the saints also say, ‘faith is a gift you receive in prayer.’
Those who never pray are in great danger of satan dragging them into aetheism and then into mortal sins.

What is your favourite prayer? What prayers can you say most easily? Saint Ignatius of Loyola wrote that no two people pray the same way, or the same prayers, because we are all individuals and different. Pray the way that suits you.
That could be: listening to the ‘Truth and Life audio bible app’ for 15 mins a day. (Also available on audible.com for download onto the audible app).
It could be the Divine Mercy chaplet daily. (Take 4 mins).
It could be a little novena prayer to Saint Padre Pio each day.
It could be reading a chapter of a catholic book each day.

Go to confession again. Get a new start with God.
And this time pray each day. And on Wednesdays and Fridays give up some little thing (to put your body in subjection to the Holy Spirit).


I do pray every day which includes a Rosary every day.


Matthew Kelly has lots of great videos on youtube, he is a catholic speaker and he rightfully says:

Human beings are creatures of habit.

Change your thoughts (to holy positive thoughts), change your routines and habits (to a balanced social/ hobby/ family/ work/ prayer life), And this will usually fix your situation with God.
(Your thoughts and actions must change :slight_smile:


All of your threads involve people telling you to seek mental health treatment and you always ignore them. Why? Why won’t you consider the idea that you might have a mental health issue that requires medical treatment?


The only people who end up in hell are the ones who refuse to repent of sins, never pray (and hence slip away from a relationship with God), and deliberately pursue a life of mortal sins,

Keep your daily prayers, attending confession and mass, little fasts from things on Wednesdays/ Fridays, And things will work out okay,

As the saying goes: ‘God loves a tryer.’


Sometimes for reasons unknown to us God holds off on answering our prayers fully, but even when you don’t see progress, don’t forget that God always loves you and He will help you persevere in your suffering and trials. Interior change won’t just happen overnight. Sometimes God wants us to take time to get through it, and sometimes the instruments He gives us for getting through it are other people. Seeking help for mental health issues is itself a practice of humility and a start in growth.


The earth is the only place we can ‘grow’ closer to God. We earn a permanent place of closeness to God in heaven. God wants you to grow towards Him, you won’t suddenly grow from an acorn to an oak tree overnight. And God wants you to learn life experience lessons from your mistakes, because when you repent: ‘God works all things for your good.’

Another important thing to think about is the root of your sins, and what triggers them,

Read the book ‘The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything,’

Why are you prideful?
Why did you skip mass?
Why did you skip the holy day of obligation?
Why does you brain feel a mess?

Deal with these questions and you will know why you committed those errors, and what you need to do to avoid this in the future.


Maybe I do but no more than depression, I work in mental health and don’t see myself in any category.

Also, it would cost a fortune and if it worked my faith would shift to them from God?


Humility for example is something I have been praying for ten years or more, how much longer to wait for help in this area?


I missed mass a I had to take my children somewhere this morning.

It feels like a mess because I worry about things and cannot switch off from them.


If you read the book ‘The Jesuit Guide to Almost Everything,’. I think it will help you a lot.
Because: the Jesuit order have more canonised saints than any other religious order in the world, and Saint Ignatius method of discernment written for them, is quite insightful.

One rule he had was balance:
The Holy Spirit is about balance according to your vocation and mission and talents in life.

Eg: a married husband deciding to pray 3 hours a day is not balanced. He would end up neglecting his family. End up over tired for his career. Possibly end up cranky with everyone in his life from tiredness. End up avoiding using their talents (eg: a musician at church) because all their free time is spent praying.

Because according to Saint ignatius satan tempts people to something that seems outwardly good, if he cannot tempt them to sin.

So balance between family, hobbies, prayer, work, career, rest, etc is important.
Overdo any of these and the rest of the areas in one’s life suffer.


You’re not the best person to diagnose yourself. You need to see someone. Depression can be a bear and skew your perception of everything else, including God.

And why would your faith shift if you sought mental health treatment? That’s ridiculous. If a doctor set a broken leg, would you go “well, guess that doctor is my new god now.” Again, ridiculous.

You’re just looking for justification to avoid doing what you know is necessary.


God won’t always just grant humility automatically. Virtues are developed by practice. Think about the different opportunities He has given you to practice humility. And perhaps another opportunity for practicing it would be to seek the help of a counselor to get your life back on track.


Was it absolutely essential to bring your kids somewhere?
Could you have gotten mass the evening before? Could you have gotten mass later that day?
Could you have brought your kids after mass?

It may not have been a mortal sin if it was an accident.
But only you know that


Have you made an appointment to speak to your pastor about this?

If you miss Mass through no fault of your own its not a sin. Now if you choose not to go to a later mass than it could be.

Also I agree with above poster, almost as a rule someone cannot diagnose themselves. It takes an objective 3rd party. I don’t know about your situation but usually mental health is covered by insurance or you can go to a health clinic for free depending upon where you love.


I immediately found the pdf version online but 485 pages is about 480 pages too much for me to digest unfortunately.


I was working last night for the vigil mass and no second mass on Sunday.

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