Why is cheating bad?


#1

First, I want to say that I know several people have been affected by this and I don't mean to conjure anything bad up. So please try not to think that way.

Now, I know cheating is bad, but why?

I know the sacrament of marriage makes the two people one and God created us husband and wife, no third person. So cheating in a marriage is a big NO.

But what about in a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend)? Why is it bad to cheat in a relationship? Again, I know it is bad, but why?

coolduude


#2

What i would say to this is if two people are a couple to be married or even a long term relationship it is bad to cheat becauase they are ment to trust each other and if one of the couple is willing to cheat then surley they cant be inlove with the person who they are in the relationship with. Therefore for i think that it would be better to find out that he/she is a cheat before marrage to break all ties from a future of possible lies and decept.


#3

[quote="coolduude, post:1, topic:185091"]
First, I want to say that I know several people have been affected by this and I don't mean to conjure anything bad up. So please try not to think that way.

Now, I know cheating is bad, but why?

I know the sacrament of marriage makes the two people one and God created us husband and wife, no third person. So cheating in a marriage is a big NO.

But what about in a relationship (boyfriend/girlfriend)? Why is it bad to cheat in a relationship? Again, I know it is bad, but why?

coolduude

[/quote]

Go back a step. Why do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Until you are ready to be engaged and in a committed relationship leading to marriage, back off the drama and the commitment. You need to test the waters. Get out of the committed relationship and spend more time in non-physical relationships with lots of people of the opposite sex. I think a "desire" to "cheat" just means you are not ready to be in a committed relationship leading to marriage at this time. Because that is the purpose of commitment.


#4

[quote="graceandglory, post:3, topic:185091"]
I think a "desire" to "cheat" just means you are not ready to be in a committed relationship leading to marriage at this time.

[/quote]

I never said I had a desire to cheat. I was merely inquiring as to why it was bad.

I just think I need to be slapped with some morals....


#5

OK, I'll bite.

Cheating in an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is bad because it ALWAYS involves lying. If you didn't have to lie, it wouldn't be cheating. If you are not "exclusive" with each other, it's neither bad nor cheating. (It should be mentioned that "casual" dating relationships NEVER include sex.)

If you are exclusive, then it is disrespectful to the other person - it says very clearly that you don't care how he or she feels.

If you are with someone who wants to be exclusive and you don't, then it's mean and unfeeling to continue the relationship -- because you KNOW you feel less then the other person and are misleading them and setting them up for hurt feelings. You should break it off in that case, before pursuing another person. Cruel to be kind, know what I mean?

That is my final answer. ;)


#6

Cheating is a bad thing-very bad. It violates trust in a relationship that was supposed to be exclusive.

However, I have never understood why it's considered an "unforgivable" offense. King David cheated and committed murder-and God didn't take away his kingdom. The bottom line is that we are flawed people who make mistakes. We never know the full story-what if the relationship is on the rocks? What if the wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend is monstrous to live with? Was the affair a one time encounter? Was it a full blooded releationship? Was the other person drunk when they committed adultery? Do you have kids? The questions go on and on.

Another thing people simply don't like to talk about is that the male sex drive and female sex drive are different. That's a point of discussion as well.

I would be outraged and crushed if someone cheated on me-and I don't know if I would stay with that person, so I plead guilty to being a hypocrite. Me being a hypocrite, however, doesn't make what I said automatically wrong.


#7

Cheating - I am assuming sexual activity (may or may not include intercourse) with someone to whom you are not validly married.

It is a sin because it removes sexual activity from marriage, God designed all sexual activity for marriage. It is a sin against the commandments to act in a sexual way to someone to whom you are not married. It is fornication, it will send you to hell.


#8

I don’t really disagree with you, so let me start off by saying that.

Merely hypothetical-A woman in the holocaust slept with a Nazi guard to save 100 innocent jews. Is she in hell?


#9

That is between her and God, if she sinned with full consent and knowledge, then she committed mortal sin. God forgives and if she sought forgivness through ordinary or extraordinary means, we pray God forgave her sin.


#10

[quote="kage_ar, post:9, topic:185091"]
That is between her and God, if she sinned with full consent and knowledge, then she committed mortal sin. God forgives and if she sought forgivness through ordinary or extraordinary means, we pray God forgave her sin.

[/quote]

Good to know. So the fact she saved 100 innocent people is irrelevant to God?


#11

[quote="Rascalking, post:10, topic:185091"]
Good to know. So the fact she saved 100 innocent people is irrelevant to God?

[/quote]

One cannot commit a mortal sin even if good comes of it. That is a topic for another thread. It has been rehashed over and over up in the Moral Theology and Philosophy forums.


#12

*Cheating destroys trust. Simple as that. Cheating on taxes (illegal)...cheating on tests in school (could be expelled)...cheating against a spouse (adultery)...boyfriends/girlfriends who cheat on one another, let's say NO sex is going on between them, but one of the two dates another behind the other's back...that would be ''cheating'' in the sense, that you're lying to do something that you want to to, but wrong and hurtful to another that you're supposedly ''dating.''

Cheating never brings out a positive effect, it only destroys trust in the cheatER, and hurts people. In the end, the cheater wounds himself the most. Be truthful in all things--and you'll be free. *


#13

I think the extenuating circumstances would mean she’d need to speak to with her confessor about how culpable she is for this sin. Of course the fact that she saved 100 people matters to God. If I remember right, the Pope hid 3,000 Jews in his summer palace and falsified baptismal records to get them visas out of Europe. It’s a lie, that needs to be confessed, but the nature of the sin makes a difference.


#14

[quote="kage_ar, post:7, topic:185091"]
Cheating - I am assuming sexual activity (may or may not include intercourse) with someone to whom you are not validly married.

It is a sin because it removes sexual activity from marriage, God designed all sexual activity for marriage. It is a sin against the commandments to act in a sexual way to someone to whom you are not married. It is fornication, it will send you to hell.

[/quote]

By no means is it the same sin. While we all agree that people shouldn't be having sex before getting married, the sex of cheating is not the same as the sex with one's exclusive boyfriend or girlfriend. At least the boyfriend/girlfriend sex is honest and loving, even though it's premature. The sex of cheating is an infidelity committed against one's exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend. That makes it ever so much worse.


#15

Could you please back this up by showing me where this is stated in the Catechism, in a document from the Vatican or in a doctrinal statement?

My Catechism and my Bible say that sex outside of marriage is fornication. Please, show me in the official documents where I am wrong.


#16

Well I think here he agrees with you that while it is fornication either way, a sexual relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is not as culpable as a sexual relationship between two married people (who are not married to each other).

But yes, they are both mortal sins.


#17

[quote="kage_ar, post:15, topic:185091"]
Could you please back this up by showing me where this is stated in the Catechism, in a document from the Vatican or in a doctrinal statement?

My Catechism and my Bible say that sex outside of marriage is fornication. Please, show me in the official documents where I am wrong.

[/quote]

It's common sense. One is sex outside of marriage and the other is sex outside of marriage *plus" unfaithfulness to the exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend.


#18

[quote="SugarMagnolia, post:17, topic:185091"]
It's common sense. One is sex outside of marriage and the other is sex outside of marriage *plus" unfaithfulness to the exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend.

[/quote]

So, this is your personal opinion.

We are to conform our opinions to that of the Church. Adultery and fornication are mortal sins if done with knowledge and intent.


#19

Does God have common sense?


#20

Are you referring to me? If so, I’m a she. (And here I thought my nick was flowery enough to sound female. LOL)

Also, I wasn’t comparing premarital sex with extramarital sex. Though I agree that extramartial sex is more wrong than premarital sex. I was saying that if two people are in an exclusive premartial sexual relationship (which is wrong) and one of those people has sex outside of that exclusive relationship, that act of cheating is more wrong because it includes the additional sin of unfaithfulness.


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