[quote="Tantum_ergo, post:10, topic:207124"]
Why do you not want children?
Are they a burden (financial, emotional)?.....Do you think that having children will keep you from being able to have material goods and career success? That you'll constantly have to put THEM first....
....Or do you think that these have 'only' come about in the last couple of decades because women are now 'liberated' and that before your enlightenment, women were 'forced' into the 'drudgery' of child rearing because they had nothing BETTER to do, and that countless billions of women's lives were WASTED on the mind-numbing DREARINESS of raising a family? And you dread that by having children, you'll be turning your back on 'your sisters' and buying into the male-supremacist world and you'll be making all the 'sacrifices' of those brave feminists in VAIN because you just 'succumbed' to the bad old patriarchical, narrow-minded, medieval notion; you listened to your stupid 'biological clock' instead of using your MIND, etc.? - this is all extremely insulting
See, there are a lot of possibilities (I've only touched the surface, above) as to why you ask about it being 'wrong' to not want children.
Note that I don't say 'reasons'. . .because many of these are not 'reasonable' at all but are predicated on wrong premises and 'feelings' in your opinion, and those which do attempt logic likewise are built on an edifice which is at best narrow and at worst actually false.
Because everything above can be addressed, point by point.
...If you can do that for yourself and your spouse, you can do that for yourself, your spouse, and a child. Breastfeed your child and save big bucks on formula; use cloth diapers and save big bucks on 'disposables'; use things like Craigslist, thrift shops, etc. and save big bucks on clothing, furniture, toys etc., - well that clears that up then
I can go on, because all the other worries have 'answers' too. . .but first, you need to find what you are REALLY afraid of (yes, I said afraid). Because all those 'excuses' are really trying to 'justify' fears 99% of the time. . .
WOW. My jaw just hit the floor at the judgementalism in this post, and the assumptions about me (and the post that said I was clearly 'willing to just use someone for enjoyment').
First of all Tantum Ergo, I'm actually not asking as someone who doesn't want children (I'm not at that stage in my life, but I'm open to the idea). And OF COURSE I am not dismissing the important work of parents (why do you only talk about mothers by the way?)... in fact, none of those things particulaly apply to me and it's so utterly obnoxious to assume so much about other people's motivations. Do you really have all the answers?
I am asking as someone who has my brain engaged and just can't accept this black-and-white "because I say so" thing. If there's truly a good reason then of course I will accept something, but otherwise no. For the people who have said these type of things:
well, the point of marriage is having children, so if you're not planning on having children then you're doing something wrong
if you're having sex and not wanting children, you must be selfishly using the other person
you must be mentally unhealthy to not want children
your mind has been warped by the feminist movement, or else you just want more money for cars and foreign holidays
it's just natural law, so deal with it
...well, my only response is that I just don't think these are the cast-iron truths you're making them out to be. They are obviously passionately held beliefs on this forum but that doesn't make it so, and while I respect your rights to your beliefs I'm frustrated by all the moral condemnation it entails (see above post from Tantum Ergo!)
To me, it seems to be a type of blind extremism that doesn't leave an awful lot of room for people in their diversity, or allow them to make a non-mainstream choice, etc.
I'm really deeply unhappy about it because I used to be very religious and thought I'd found something wonderful, and yes parts of it are, but too many parts just don't make sense to me anymore and I simply can't accept them. Most of all I dislike the knee-jerk reactions to this sort of thing, and being told that I've got to believe this, or do that, even if it doesn't feel right.
Well that's about it from me... I think I'll bow out here and respectfully say I really don't agree but I wish you all the best.