Yes it is more a media-driven thing. They prey on young women’s insecurities. And some fall for it hook line and sinker. To the point that they go and have plastic surgery and all. Glad you were/are immune to it.
Amen, amen, amen!
Along these lines.
Pretty girl makes blunder, males rush over to help her.
Plain girl makes blunder, males eye roll and shake their head (no help is offered).
I think this is true of both men and women.
My take on this now is that plain looks have given me an advantage. I get to see what people are really made of. The guy who hurries to open a door for a woman because she’s carrying a baby and a diaper bag gets ‘more points’ from me than if he rushes over to open a door for a good looking lady. If I was looking to date that is. Does he rush over to open a door for an older lady who is walking with a cane? That is useful information in discovering who this person really is.
My husband was very counter cultural. When we were dating, Valentines Day came along and I didn’t get any flowers or a little something, which I thought was kind of odd seeing that this was promoted everywhere. He gave me a sly look and said that he was going to do that kind of thing for his wife, that the lady who was going to be his life partner was going to get the extra special treatment. That was a real witness to me. It turned my thinking upside down.
Men might communicate it as disappointment.
For example I watched this blind dating show the other day like “perfect match” and the contestant said his crush was Gal Gadot.
One of the contestants said she gets told she looks like Gal Gadot all the time but for some reason he picked a different contestant who had a good sense of humour.
When the host revealed to him the ‘Gal gadot lookalike’ contestant that he didn’t choose you could tell he was really impressed by her beauty.
When they then revealed the one he did choose-a girl that was still somewhat attractive but not as pretty as the other two contestants and about a U.K./Aus size 14 instead of 8 or 10 like the other two contestants were you could tell on his face he was bit disappointed (even though he tried to hide it).
Another example is seeing men with their wives/families at beachs or holiday resorts perving at the prettier girls.
It’s not necessarily that women think that men just go for looks in isolation but more that men expect it as part of the package.
For example a lot of men like girls with a sense of humour but they expect her to be both attractive and have humour.
Having humour without the beauty and most men don’t seem romantically interested.
At least that’s been my observations.
Jealousy isn’t coveting. Envy is. God is often described as a jealous God, remember.
But people often use the word jealous when they’re actually envious.
I find the way you write about it inspiring,unfortunately though so many people have fallen for these messages.
I even hear some Christian and Muslim men talk about a visually beautiful wife as a blessing from God.
I tend to agree, although I also agree with scarlet below. Truthfully though I think it’s the less mature males who focus solely on physical attractiveness. Sure an attractive woman would probably get attention in the beginning … but really I think most men want someone who is emotionally, spiritually, and intellectually healthy. In my dating life an attractive woman physically is great, but really that fades pretty fast. I’m looking for a good match.
Yeah. I agree. I mean to a certain extent I think it’s healthy to recognise that there are many physically attractive women out there. It’s a different matter entirely to drool after them or perv at them.
Isn’t jealousy then a natural consequence of society or biology?
I mean if something is valued as being desirable and focused so much on in society,or if men are biologically programmed to ‘want’ pretty girls,then wouldn’t it be a natural for women who perceive they don’t have it to to be jealous of the person/s that has it?
Is it the feeling of jealousy that’s a sin or just if a person then hates someone they are jealous of?
To me jealousy seems like a form of sorrow.
Men don’t seem to get as jealous about looks as much women I think and I guess that’s because there’s less expectation for men to be attractive?
When they do get jealous it seems more about material things like cars,money etc…
Men are used to women for the most part saying “I’m looking for a husband/boyfriend who’s faithful,gsoh,doesn’t necessarily have to be externally attractive…” whereas women are used to men saying “I’m looking for a girl who’s attractive,gsoh,compassionate,fun,sexy etc…”
Women seem to have less expectations-maybe that’s because the ‘quality male’ dating pool has less numbers then the ‘quality female’ dating pool or maybe it’s just biological?
I dunno. These days women prefer good looking men. Women are becoming more masculine.
Strictly speaking, it’s envy, not jealousy, that’s one of the seven deadly sins. There’s a difference, although in everyday speech people commonly use the word “jealous” when what they really mean is “envious.” @Wesrock explained it in his post #27 or 28 on this thread.
You mention anger. Well, that’s one of the seven deadly sins, too, under its old name of “wrath.”
My two cents (literally not smart enough to speak on this but I’m scrupulous so I ask if something is a sin a lot)
I think the issue with Jealous is that it isn’t envy
In which you’re more angry at the person for having something you don’t
Jealously is more of a self pity and sorrow type deal
Where you personally feel you are less for something you don’t have
It’s a kind of shame
If it’s a sin (I don’t really know) it’s because perhaps you unintentionally or intentionally believe God has been unfair to you
“How am I supposed to survive is this world when I’m ugly and everyone else looks perfectly fine”
It’s easy to see how someone could feel that way
It looks like they got the short straw in life and everyone else got giant ones
So they aren’t angry people have something they don’t they’re just upset as to why they do not have it
I personally felt ugly for a while and I was
I wasn’t mad at people who didn’t have Freddy Kruger for a face
I was just upset that I had to live in a world that’s expects you to look presentable when I didn’t
I felt I would never get married and basically sentenced myself to being a hermit
Thank God. I look better now and God must’ve numbed my emotions back then or i would be a wreck
My advice for myself and other people who get jealous from time to time
Get to Heaven and God will tell you the answer to every question you have
And he will take away all those tears of not feeling you “had enough”
Maybe it’s case dependent on wether it’s sinful
Depending on the situation
Ok maybe this was my 3 cents
Envy destroys your relationship with God in two ways:
- You wish to take away the gift(s) He has given to another
- You do not appreciate the gift(s) He has given you.
Envy takes these feelings to a level of preoccupation…you are focusing on what you don’t have and how you can, legitimately or not, acquire those things you feel you have been cheated of instead of focusing on how much He loves you and has hand-picked for your benefit every gift you possess. It keeps you focused on YOU and not focused on HIM>
Which women do you perceive as masculine?
Do you mean like feminists?
Thanks for your thoughtful answer.
But does God pick our features or is it genetic?
It is reality that some cultures are as a whole more attractive that others.
While attractiveness ‘levels’ may still vary amongst people in that culture,as a whole,they are still more attractive.
It seems that genes play more role that God?
I work in a predominantly female workplace and it seems to me to be females who are focussed on how they or others look. Most of the time, I’m not sure that us blokes even pay much heed to how most of the females around us look.