Why is life so easy for some people?


#1

Not sure if this is the right place to post.

Why do some people seem to go through life so easily yet for others it seems to be so hard. At the moment I’m looking for work and cannot even seem to get an interview … I just don’t understand why I should have to struggle for everything when some people seem to have life handed to them on a plate. I know God has a plan for everyone but why is mine to suffer and struggle?


#2

Because that is just the way it is. I’ll be honest, my life has supremely sucked for most of it. I have very, very, few happy times. I would much rather forget childhood. In fact, I would much rather forget most of it.

I have had to work hard to get to where I am, and I’ve had to make sacrifices along the way while I got to see my peers enjoying life carefree. I’ve gotten to the point where it’s just the way it is. :shrug: I can be very unhappy and bitter about it, or just be very tactful and pragmatic. Most people in my situation would have turned to something dark and gone off the edge, but I didn’t. My psychologist thinks that I am nothing short of a miracle. I say “eh,” that’s just the way it is.

I really don’t talk about how rough things are with very many people because most people have no idea how difficult life can truly be. They don’t realize that their lives are really easy. I can recall hearing friends when I was younger gripe about how their parents wanted to go out for meals, have conversations with them, would buy them things they didn’t like, etc. and I would think well…better than having someone threaten to kill you and beat you up. I mean really, it does help put things into perspective.

I try not to look at how easy some people have it because I know there must be some reason why things have been so difficult for me. My husband thinks I am a saint (though I’m really not) who holds everything together, so maybe that’s why. Or maybe I’m supposed to write a book about it or something, who knows. One thing that I do know is I can’t live life telling myself that other people have it “so easy,” and why must I have it so hard.


#3

I'm really pulling for you, friend and I will dedicate my rosary to you finding work. What a funny coincidence, I was just reading this article when I came upon your thread. It shows to me that we should appreciate what we have and how fast we can lose everything (among other things).

finance.yahoo.com/banking-budgeting/article/111434/familys-fall-from-affluence-is-swift-and-hard


#4

No one's life is easy. A poem I remembered from grade school.

Whenever Richard Cory went down town,
We people on the pavement looked at him:
He was a gentleman from sole to crown,
Clean favored, and imperially slim.

And he was always quietly arrayed,
And he was always human when he talked;
But still he fluttered pulses when he said,
"Good-morning," and he glittered when he walked.

And he was rich, richer than a king,
And admirably schooled in every grace:
In fine, we thought that he was everything
To make us wish that we were in his place.

So on we worked, and waited for the light,
And went without the meat, and cursed the bread;
And Richard Cory, one calm summer night,
Went home and put a bullet through his head.


#5

"I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life;
I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well."

Theodore Roosevelt, Des Moines, Iowa, November 4, 1910

Now, you might think Teddy Roosevelt had his future handed to him on a plate, but he had very serious health problems from childhood. Neither did he have to do the things he did. The excuses were there, the means to avoid accomplishing anything himself were there. He could have had a relatively easy life. He didn’t choose that. He chose to reach for something. He had the successes he did because he was a fighter. If you think about the great persons in history, some had a choice and some didn’t, but they all did something difficult. They turned the obstacles to their success into an opportunity to achieve something more substantial.

It is natural to feel the way you do. Give yourself credit, you are in a tough spot. When you find a job, though, you’ll have done something substantial. You will have completed a task worthy to lay at the Lord’s feet as a true service. Seen in that way, you have an opportunity here, an opportunity to learn to rely on God, and opportunity to develop both your mettle and your faith.

Hang in there. The Lord is behind you, and you can do it. Remain faithful, and you will not go without your reward.


#6

I hear that lament from the mother of our foster children. She goes on about how “easy” my wife and I have it - college educated, good jobs, nice house, everything she doesn’t have.

She fails to understand that we didn’t spring fourth from the earth that way. We were both children of poor parents with minimal education and large families. I worked my *** off in college doing a “job that Americans won’t do” and graduated with no debt and a decent GPA without any help from my widowed mother. My first couple of jobs out of college paid garbage and demanded long hours - eventually I landed a couple good “jobs” in a row and have finally established myself. My wife worked her way through college cleaning houses and working at a lawn service company. She graduated and took a job teaching. We married, waited a few years to have kids, dealt with dire health issues with our children and worked hard to get where we are.

Our foster mom is 23, never been married has two kids and has a recreational drug habit she can’t kick. She whines because the judge forced her to get a job (first one in her life) and no one will “give” her a car. The father of her children in prison (where she should be too) and doesn’t give her any child support.


#7

I actually heard this in a movie.... but it is accurate, as we all struggle.

"The only happy people I know are people I don't know well."

BTW: A great pennance I received was to spend 1 month saying the last 4 words of the Mass, at evey opprotunity, good, bad or indifferent. Those words are: "Thanks be to God".
Try it... you just might be surprised :)

I'll pray for you...


#8

I think you never truly know what is going on in other people's lives. That person who seems so happy might just be hiding their troubles. Difficulty comes in many forms. The people who "have everything" often feel empty when they realize happiness still eludes them when every material need and want has been obtained. Some challenges are undoubtedly harder than others, but there is likely always someone who has it harder than you.

Your trials might be too much for another person, and theirs may be too much for you. I do believe everyone struggles in one way or another. Happiness is never found in reaching for what belongs to someone else.


#9

The answer to your question is-Luck.

It’ll even out for you. Remember that “This too, shall pass”. What seems like a nightmare now will seem like nothing to you in a few months.

In my prayers.


#10

I have learned that an easy life is mainly due to attitude.

In my life, I have met one person who truly seemed to have an easy life...and she knows it. But she is in serious spiritual danger.

I think sometimes life's difficulties can keep us close to God.

OTOH, we once had a business (which ultimately died a slow death...I still deal with the effects of that disaster) in a poor section of town. We had many people come in who were illiterate (took me a year to figure out their coping tricks. It never occurred to me that illiteracy really existed in our country!). We also had many poor. Many were suffering their own bad choices. Some of the happiest of our clients were the poor who didn't seem to deserve their lot.

We had one sweet woman who had suffered a stroke or something. She dragged a foot, and sometimes had difficulty speaking. Her daughter suffered a serious kidney ailment. They were poor. But the woman was always so happy and showed such concern for what was going on. It made our own troubles seem so paltry.

We can't just pretend that trouble doesn't exist, but we can try to be especially aware of the glimmers of hope that are in each of our lives. A game I played with myself toward the end of our time with our business was to seek to see Jesus in each and every customer that came into our store. This wasn't easy given that so many of them were truly intent on ripping us off. But it really helped to get me through that time


#11

I was diagnosed with cancer, and was forced into unplanned retirement. At initial diagnosis, I was in stage four (Peripheral T-Cell Lymphoma - NOS), with 54 tumors and cancer cells in my bone marrow. Aggressive. Inoperable. Incurable. Not treatable by radiation or surgery. Highly resistant to chemotherapy. Due to its rarity, there is no standard treatment. It was a death sentence. Prayers began. I received eight different chemotherapy drugs, which had to be discontinued, as they were killing me faster than the cancer. Three months later the cancer was back.

Now, there was essentially nothing to fight it with. Twice now, I had prepared for death. What little hope was left was fading quickly as the cancer grew. Suddenly, and with providential timing, a clinical trial of an experimental drug became available. I agreed to the trial and have now been in full remission for a year and a half. Doctor is now considering stopping treatment, since he believes that, after all this time in remission, I likely have no cancer remaining in my body.

There were at least three messages for me in all of this: 1. God has a plan. If we abandon ourselves to Divine Providence, He will see that it is carried out. 2. Be patient with God just as He has been patient with you. 3. Never doubt the mercy of God or the power of prayer.

As to suffering, it is better to feel the flames in this life than in the next.


#12

A friend and I were driving some years ago when she suddenly turned to me and asked why my life was always so exciting and adventurous while nothing like that ever happened to her? I asked if she wanted to switch lives, and she nodded yes. I said, "Good," and then told her what had just passed for normal in the last three weeks in my world, then asked, "Still want to switch lives?"

Her answer came right away. "No."


#13

I must admit I personally had a very cruisy childhood I was very happy, got most things that I wanted, although wasnt spoilt. I started working at 14 to buy things for myself. It was not till 19 that my struggles came and that was when I dedicated my life to Jesus that I started having troubles. This leads me to believe what a lot of other people also believe …the closer you are to God , you will normally find yourself battling more because we live in the enemys world and its a struggle to be with God all the time. But what I have noticed is that with perserverance and sadly repeating the same mistakes over and over until the solution sinks in, I grow stronger and everything seems to flow smoothly. I recently admitted to a group of people I was doing the alpha course with, although my life has been rough I wouldnt give it up at all because when those moments of breakthrough do come its worth so much to find yourself overcoming the battle and moving foward. So what I can suggest for you which works for me when I am truly battling is prayer. This is the key. I have read alot of Joyce Meyer books and in a bookon prayer that I read she says we tend to leave prayer as the last option if all else fails. It should be the first option, we need to learn to be thankful to the Lord at all times and he will bless us more. I pray that you find a job. I think the reason you have not found one yet is because theres a really well suited job for you waiting and things will link up and you will find it. It will feel right. I wish you luck. And God bless you
Lots of Love Christine :slight_smile:

:highprayer:


#14

We really can’t know what burdens someone else is carrying. When we see someone who seems to have it easy, we’re only seeing what they are experiencing at this particular time in their life; we don’t see their past or future. We also can’t know what good (for ourselves and for others) that God will bring out of our troubles if we trust Him.

I like the Richard Cory poem.

Who wrote, “The majority of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”?

What a good thing we have Jesus!


#15

In many ways we make our own luck. Life can be a lot harder or a lot easier depending on the choices we make, but attitude will help you through the hard times. I have sacrificed at times in my life to get where I am. Right now, life seems unfair so I'm trying to enjoy the little things to remind myself that even though a lot of major things have gone wrong, I won't waste my life only focusing on the down side or jealousy- that way leads to depression.

Whether someone's life is easier than mine or harder it doesn't change my life at all. My advice is to not dwell on it, Christ said take up our crosses and follow Him. Implying we will all have crosses to bear at some time or another in life. I'll try to carry mine, trust that they'll never be more than I can handle, that He'll help me with them when I need it, be grateful for those crosses I don't have to bear, and then like I said before, try and enjoy those things I can - even as simple as being able to hear a bird sing, or watch the dawn break.


#16

I'm going to go down a different road here.

Yes, I believe that luck has something to do with "the easy life. But I believe that our life's course is often (not always) determined by a series of choices that start way back when we are children.

I came from an intact family, but not necessarily a healthy one. My mother came from a poor white trash family, had 10 siblings, and had a physically-abusive father. So she brought "baggage" to her marriage. But so did my father--he was the only child of German farmers and he was a "Mama's Boy" who never did break off the ties with his parents until they died. He also has an obsession with making money and I grew up living quite frugally so that he could invest his money in land and houses rather than in family activities. (Perhaps this is why I tend to be a free-spender--I am revolting against my father's unwillingness to give material things to his wife and children.)

But for the most part, my parents provided me with a safe and loving home. No one has perfect parents, and I learned to deal with their inadequacies and flaws.

When I think back on my childhood, I can recall hundreds of little decisions that I made that made life, especially school life, pleasant and "easy" for me. E.g., I wouldn't have dreamed of goofing off in school. I worked very hard and generally did much more work than the teachers asked for, even back in 2nd, 3rd, and 4th grade.

This good decision-making continued all the way through high school, college, and career. I made decisions that made it much more likely that I would eventually get a good job and enjoy a good life. I majored in a field that to this day, pretty much guarantees that I will have a good-paying job in any city in the U.S. (except California and Florida, where I have to have a special license.). No philosophy or English literature or religion studies for this girl!

Even continuing to play piano instead of quitting like so many other kids did was a good decision, because I supplement my income with piano gigs, and playing the piano gets me into social circles that are closed to many people in the community.

I believe that I made a good decision when I chose to marry the man who is my husband. He also made a series of good decisions as a child and teenager, and today he has a good job with an international computer company. If he should lose that job, his skills are in demand and he could probably land another good job within a fairly short time. There have been several times when he has sensed (because he is smart and well-trained) that his job within his company was in jeopardy due to trends in the marketplace, and rather than just sitting back and accepting the inevitable lay-off, instead, he worked harder within the company to find a different position that enabled him to keep a good job while his work associates lost their jobs and had to start all over. It wasn't luck, it was skill and intelligence and the ability to see what others, for some reason, couldn't see coming.

I could go on and on, but I hope that you see my point. My "good life" is not because of "luck." It's because of a series of wise decisions that started back in my childhood.

Yes, I have made some really stupid decisions that have brought me misfortune. E.g., I chose to gain a lot of weight starting in my late 20s, and this destroyed my knees and ankles and made me more and more inactive through my 40s. Who knows what other fat-related illnesses (breast cancer? heart disease? stroke?) are lurking in my body because of the bad choices I made thirty years ago? :(. Now in my 50s, I am struggling to lose the weight and try to gain back a lot of my lost mobility and health. Very stupid decision and I encourage others to please make good decisions about your health now.

I've mentioned in other threads that my husband and I made some foolish and irresponsible financial decisions that have put us in debt today. We should never have bought a house when we did--we should have waited until our babies were older. And when we did buy a house, we should have purchased a newer home in better condition, even though it would have meant a higher mortgage. Oh, well. At least our other decisions made up for this bad decision, as we are able to afford a "good" lifestyle as long as we are willing to stay in debt.

When I see others who are struggling with a hard life, I always wonder why? Something put them there. Perhaps I am presumtuous, but I'm guessing that if people take a good, hard, HONEST look back on their life, they will see when they started steering towards a course that brought them to a place in their life where they never seem to get a break. I know a lot of people who just never buckled down and worked during their school years, especially middle and high school, and then they never bothered to get any further education past high school (and if they did, they majored in something that would not provide them with a good job, or went to a technical school where they didn't get the kind of training that would get them in the door of a company), and then they decided that they simply couldn't move away from their childhood home (futher limiting their opportunities to find work) and then they decided to marry someone equally ill-prepared for life...anyway, I honestly think a lot of people would see that they really are responsible for the life they are currently living and that luck or fate had little to do with it.


#17

[quote="Cat, post:16, topic:221128"]
I'm going to go down a different road here.

Yes, I believe that luck has something to do with "the easy life. But I believe that our life's course is often (not always) determined by a series of choices that start way back when we are children.

[/quote]

And the first and most difficult choice is being born to the right parents in the right part of the world at the right time. If you had been born in Mogadishu for example it would be pretty hard for you to maintain that our success or failure in life is (mostly) determined by our hard work and choices. We are more like marionettes than we like to admit. We might have the ability to reach up and pull the strings at times but so much of our fate is simply due to forces outside of our control.


#18

[quote="KostyaJMJ, post:17, topic:221128"]
And the first and most difficult choice is being born to the right parents in the right part of the world at the right time. If you had been born in Mogadishu for example it would be pretty hard for you to maintain that our success or failure in life is (mostly) determined by our hard work and choices. We are more like marionettes than we like to admit. We might have the ability to reach up and pull the strings at times but so much of our fate is simply due to forces outside of our control.

[/quote]

Was the OP born in Mogadishu? Was anyone on this thread so far? I thought we were talking about those of us born in the U.S.A. on this thread? I agree that those born into Third World countries, or countries torn apart by war and famine have very hard lives and bleak prospects.

But for those of us who live in the U.S.A., there are almost always choices that we can make that can help us. I think that rather than blaming fate, we need to look back and be brutally honest with ourselves. I think that in almost all situations, we will discover that had we taken a different path, we might be living an easier life today.

Yes, I agree that tragic birth circumstances and awful family (or lack of family situations) put up a lot of roadblocks. But many people in the U.S.A. born into wretched conditions make choices that help them to crawl out of those circumstances and earn an "easier" berth in life. My father is an example. An only child of poor farmers who lost almost everything in the depression, he has managed to acquire wealth and property through a series of choices that he made when he was a very young man. Many of his friends are the same way--born into back-woods country poverty during a Depression followed by a war, and another war that many of them were drafted into fighting (Korea), but they worked hard and made the most of what they were given in life, and today, many of these older men and women healthy and well-off.


#19

[quote="po18guy, post:11, topic:221128"]
I was diagnosed with cancer, and was forced into unplanned retirement. At initial diagnosis, I was in stage four (Peripheral T-Cell Lymphoma - NOS), with 54 tumors and cancer cells in my bone marrow. Aggressive. Inoperable. Incurable. Not treatable by radiation or surgery. Highly resistant to chemotherapy. Due to its rarity, there is no standard treatment. It was a death sentence. Prayers began. I received eight different chemotherapy drugs, which had to be discontinued, as they were killing me faster than the cancer. Three months later the cancer was back.

Now, there was essentially nothing to fight it with. Twice now, I had prepared for death. What little hope was left was fading quickly as the cancer grew. Suddenly, and with providential timing, a clinical trial of an experimental drug became available. I agreed to the trial and have now been in full remission for a year and a half. Doctor is now considering stopping treatment, since he believes that, after all this time in remission, I likely have no cancer remaining in my body.

There were at least three messages for me in all of this: 1. God has a plan. If we abandon ourselves to Divine Providence, He will see that it is carried out. 2. Be patient with God just as He has been patient with you. 3. Never doubt the mercy of God or the power of prayer.

As to suffering, it is better to feel the flames in this life than in the next.

[/quote]

Wonderful witness. So glad you are here to share with us and the poster.

Let Go and Let God ....


#20

[quote="penguinchicky, post:1, topic:221128"]
Not sure if this is the right place to post.

Why do some people seem to go through life so easily yet for others it seems to be so hard. At the moment I'm looking for work and cannot even seem to get an interview ... I just don't understand why I should have to struggle for everything when some people seem to have life handed to them on a plate. I know God has a plan for everyone but why is mine to suffer and struggle?

[/quote]

I think we all struggle in different ways. I have had a very "lucky" life, growing up Catholic, meeting my wife, moving to America, 4 kids. I am blessed. We have also had our share of challenges, my son in prison, Aids, family deaths in car crashes, Alheimers, lost mother to cancer, bankruptcy divorces galore and the usual variety of broken bones and other "things that happen to a family"

Offering it up to God is a great place to start, and then asking God to help you to bring peace in your life. I have found that really making an effort to help others that need is a great place to start. I cannot tell you how many friends I have made from getting involved in a prison ministry as a result of my son's time there.

Praying for you.


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