Why is sex so wrong except in one scenario?

Its a raw deal.

How’s that?

Well plain and simple God gave the sexual union for marriage and for marriage alone. If God said it, I believe it and I don’t question God’s wisdom and His reasons for doing so. If sex occurs in any other situation besides a marriage of one man and one women with the openness to life you will see that most of those people doing so are NOT happy, they are NOT fulfilled and they are not satisfied with the way they are living. God gives us “rules” to follow for our spiritual health and well being.

God loves us MORE than we love ourselves and God KNOWS us better than we know ourselves so I 100% trust God and follow His will not my own in this area.

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Whatever. Not going to argue semantics when it is the content of your statement that is glib.

We are given our sexuality as a gift from God. In sharing in His unitive love and power of procreation, we are made in His image. Our sexuality is not for our own gratification, but for the purpose, as is our very life, to love Him back. It is neither a right nor a life need. God told us the parameters within which this gift is used for our own good, the good of our family and the good of society. To use it outside of these parameters is to mis-use it. And misusing it means it comes with the potential to harm us, our families and/or the society we live in (i.e. broken trust/hearts/misplaced love, STDs, children born outside of a biological male-female relationship dedicated to the rearing of that child, pornography, rape, sexual abuse, etc) Because we are not faced with the harmful consequences, or refuse to acknowledge them, does not mean they are not there.

Perfect analogy

Actually, I’d say you’re a lot like most of the world. The Catholic teaching on the beauty of virginity and sexuality within the marital union is ignored or misunderstood by most…even those who identify as Catholic. That’s just a fact.

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You’ve made a rather broad statement which is not based on factual knowledge. I haven’t seen this to always be true. Even lots of non-Catholic Christians use contraception and I wouldn’t say that most of them are not happy and not fulfilled.

Yeah…that’s definitely not a universal statement and insulting to the many non-catholic marriages out there who show love and devotion to their spouses but just don’t agree with church teaching.

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No, that is not correct.

There is no “primarily.’” . It is both procreative and unitive, and neither may be separated from the marital act.



Thorolfr and KCmedtech I have edited my response. But honestly in the situations I’ve seen I still believe what I said.

KCmedtech, I never said anything about non-Catholic marriages. I spoke of all marriages of one man and one women. I realize that not everybody in the world is Catholic and not all people in the world follow the teachings of the Catholic Church. I don’t expect that to be so or expect for all people to live according to a way they don’t believe in. Just my honest opinion.


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Same here CelticWarlord and it does make a difference even though people don’t think so.

NOW, NOT NOT NOT insulting anybody who for reasons they couldn’t help weren’t virgins when they married.

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promiscuity destroys countries

You’re making a universal statement that involves all couples…catholic and non catholic.

I’ll counter it by saying most of the couples I’m very close with are non catholic. They have had the number of kids they want and have contracepted their way through life…ending with vasectomies for the husbands to spare their wives from using anything hormonal.

They are my parents, in laws, siblings, cousins and close friends.
No divorces. They are married, stable and have raised or are currently raising fantastic kids.

My siblings and my parents cannot support my husband and my situation. They have no advice, they’ve watched us struggle immensely for years…through serious doubt and unhappiness because of our Catholic beliefs.
They thought the opposite of us…how can we be happy being catholic when we are struggling so much with Church teaching?

I’ll never forget the look on my sisters face when I told her that I was pregnant again…and given my health and financial struggles she was so scared for me. She wanted to know why…and I told her NFP had failed…again.
She stopped supporting me…especially when I told her I had no other options except my faith that this was…somehow…right and okay.

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I think the greatest gift my wife ever gave me is our daughter, but sure, I guess virginity is cool too.


I am not “beating anybody up” for what they believe or how they live. I am entitled to my own opinion. We have a brother in law who has 12 children and he is a Deacon and they GREATLY struggled. But they also are happy they lived the way they did. Nothing wrong with their choice or yours.

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Yeah…my husband could care less about having my virginity…I’ve given more of my self to him then any other man…he’s has my fertility, all my children, my conversion, my transformation from a naive, troubled young lady to a Catholic.

That means so much more.


Yeah but someone else saw you naked before him therefore it’s all cheap and meaningless.

(Yes, i realize I’m being snarky and this is a bit of a strawman)

Procreation is one of the two reasons; the other is to strengthen the bond of spouses.

Having said that, having children isn’t mandatory by the church. Catholics who are married to each other are allowed to have sex if one is sterile, or if one is past child-bearing age, and there is no prohibition against the use of NFP (natural family planning, which is when a couple has sex when the wife’s fertility is minimal).

As for why it’s wrong to have sex outside of marriage, the reason is that it tends to lead to problems such as heartbreak and STDs.

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Might as well give up now since my chances of divorce are through the roof and my marriage isn’t as meaningful or special.

My parents are not practicingcatholics, had two kids and used contraception. Had previous relationships, cohabitated for 5 years before they married and got pregnant with me 6 months before their wedding…in the early 80s.

They literally did everything “wrong”.

They just celebrated their 35 wedding anniversary and have been through hell and back…but kept their vows better than many Catholics I’ve seen posting on this board.

I’m with them…I strive to take my vows as seriously as they did. I think I know on3 or two truly catholic couples I know personally who I look up to a little more because they are catholic and they’ve struggled but never gave up.

I meant that virgin should continue to stay in that state of chastity instead of getting married unless that’s not what God wills, but the virginal state is too precious of a treasure to give up through marriage. I don’t think you understood what I meant at all.

I understand you find the idea of sex grossly unappealing, but you need to understand that is very much a minority position. If you’re asexual or whatever, fine, but you must understand that that is not the norm for the vast majority of humanity.

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