Why is sex so wrong except in one scenario?


#61

I meant that virgin should continue to stay in that state of chastity instead of getting married unless that’s not what God wills, but the virginal state is too precious of a treasure to give up through marriage. I don’t think you understood what I meant at all.


#62

I understand you find the idea of sex grossly unappealing, but you need to understand that is very much a minority position. If you’re asexual or whatever, fine, but you must understand that that is not the norm for the vast majority of humanity.


#63

Yes, I did misunderstand you, although I’d say your wording was vague. It’s perfectly fine if you wish to maintain life-long virginity if that is what you are called to.


#64

And yet here you are, arguing semantics.

Why are you assuming I haven’t already heard all this?


#65

Look into nofap.com porn is a drug. Nofap is a movement to break the addiction to porn.


#66

Sex and marriage are treasures too, and they’re not mutually exclusive with chastity.


#67

Guns can also be good when used for hunting.


#68

So having fantasies involving cuddling and making out mean nothing? It’s just affection? You have no idea how much I fear that.


#69

It’s definitely indicative of romantic attraction, but not necessarily of how much you’d enjoy having sex with someone. There are plenty of asexuals who enjoy kissing and cuddling.


#70

I did that and still felt nothing. Like was I supposed to see someone and feel this huge attraction towards them? I still get confused between sexual attraction and lust. Is it ok to get “turned on” if you see someone attractive?


#71

So I’m asexual towards women? Why can’t I just be normal. I fret over this too much, haven’t been in a relationship yet. I don’t know if I’ll feel anything down there or not.

This is so frustrating. I can have feelings and these romantic attractions and good intentions and none of that can be enough.


#72

That’s completely normal. Not everyone has a perfect sense of their own sexuality. I certainly don’t, and I’m 23. Just relax: you’ll find your way eventually if you’re patient.


#73

if you haven’t heard about this catholic couple you should look them up " Jason & Crystalina Evert". They have a lot of great talks that are shared on youtube and books they have written about love and the importance of sexual relationship in marriage. Here is one to get you started https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG5iAJ_a354


#74

Maybe I’ll watch it tomorrow.
“The prospect of forming new relationships and dating in our teenage years is both exciting and yet daunting.”
Never dated in teenage years, felt like I just suppressed everything. I feel like a freak. Everyone else experiencing this and I’m outcasted. Sometimes I wish I struggled with lusting after women but there’s nothing there.


#75

I’ve never been on a date and I’m quite content with that.


#76

Meanwhile I would love to go on one. I do have an uncle who never married. Not sure if he dated or not. I guess no interest.


#77

It is putting sex in in proper place according to your state in life. And having the right attitude to sex. Sex is a deep expression of love for someone. It tells that person that you love them so much you are prepared to create new life with them and remain with them til death. That is essential to the purpose of sex. It’s a very good thing. But if it is not within marriage and open to life then it becomes a lie.


#78

Again, you’re atypical. You shouldn’t expect your experience to be broadly applicable.


#79

The problem with sex outside marriage is that it destroys the dignity of the people who engage in these acts and can actually do psychological damage.

There are also moral and physical consequences such as disease which in some cases can lead to death or pregnancy outside marriage.

There are consequences to being born out of wedlock, being born out of a one night stand and thus technically fatherless, being born out of adultery an affair in a marriage, being born into a split and dysfunctional family with dysfunctional or absent parental figures.

These are some very good reasons why sex should only be and can only be in a marriage blessed and obedient by Christ and his Church.


#82

Porn addiction is very similar on the brain as drug addiction.

Once you get completely away from the pornography after some time perhaps several years you might find yourself questioning more of these sexual desires.

You may ask whether they are truly your own desires and a part of natural sexuality or as I said before have been inserted into your intellect and imagination through these outside forces such as pornography or society.

A lot of the things that people do in the bedroom such as lingerie, role playing, or even certain types of foreplay you have to ask are these things that come natural to us as human beings or are these things that are not intended by God?

Don’t get me wrong I’m not suggesting anybody should have a boring milquetoast romantic life but we should use good prudence on these things because there is a lot that we have been fed that is untrue or unnatural.

We have to make sure that we don’t objectify our spouses or allow ourselves to be objectified.


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