Why Is Virginity Ridiculed In Today's Society?


#1

I recently joined the Merchant Navy as an Deck Officer Cadet. I am training to become an Officer, and part of this requires me to attend College for the next five months. I am the oldest in my small class and most of my colleagues are between the ages of 17-20.

In class, a lot of the conversations are centred on the sexual exploits of certain class members. They brag about their "conquests" a lot. Many of the younger ones are virgins and I can tell that these conversations make them feel uneasy and shy because the others often make fun of them.

As a faithful Catholic, I generally steer clear of these conversations. However, I really dislike the fact that certain people ridicule others for being sexually inexperienced. Before I became a serious Catholic, I slept with many women but I feel a sense of shame about this now that I am striving to live my faith seriously. I often feel like sticking up for the younger ones but I just keep my mouth shut.

This whole situation has caused me to reflect on the fact that virginity is seriously ridiculed these days. Why is this? When did virginity stop being a virtue?


#2

Short answer=yes. And it's been that way for my entire lifetime. I keep hearing about a time when that wasn't the case...the 1950s. Not sure if that's true or if it's a case of too much Leave it to Beaver TV. :)


#3

ooops....just noticed I misred the title of this thread. haha! Sorry! Carry on...


#4

Technically chastity is the virtue, not virginity, although the two often go hand in hand. So why isn't chastity embraced by our society?

Well I'd say radical feminism is the number one culprit, but many products of the Enlightenment seem to be causes as well. It's just easier for people to give into their temptations, so they justify it and lash out at the tradition, which is the Judeo-Christian model in Western society.


#5

one other thing that has not changed since my day is that those who brag the loudest have the least to brag about


#6

Actually, in my experience, I've recived a lot of positive feedback for being the age I ma and a virgin. in my senior year, y home ec class was talking about birth control, and i was the only one not in the conversation. When one girl tried to include me, I informed her I had no opinion, because I was a virgin and had no use for birth control. Most of the girls thought that was pretty cool and wished they had waited too.

My best friend and I, we're proud to be a statistical anominly!


#7

Virginity is looked down upon because we are an over-sexed society that takes talk that you mention as typical everyday conversation. My suggestion to you would be to talk to those that are virgins and praise them. Why? They have something that the others do not. Think about it. On their wedding day, they have the most precious gift to give to their spouse. At any given time, they can choose to be like anyone else that is having sex, but those that have had sex, can never get back that virginity (true virginity, not secondary) and that can be disheartening.

Virginity will not make a turn until there are those out there that lift it up and give it the honor that it deserves.


#8

[quote="puzzleannie, post:5, topic:191266"]
one other thing that has not changed since my day is that those who brag the loudest have the least to brag about

[/quote]

Also, the ones who talk the most about their conquests are probably the most insecure. As St. Augustine says, "our hearts will be restless until they rest in the Lord", and these men have restless hearts.

Stand firm in your faith & most guys will respect you. I have learned this in the Army.


#9

[quote="Mirror_Mirror, post:7, topic:191266"]
Virginity is looked down upon because we are an over-sexed society that takes talk that you mention as typical everyday conversation. My suggestion to you would be to talk to those that are virgins and praise them. Why? They have something that the others do not. Think about it. On their wedding day, they have the most precious gift to give to their spouse. At any given time, they can choose to be like anyone else that is having sex, but those that have had sex, can never get back that virginity (true virginity, not secondary) and that can be disheartening.

Virginity will not make a turn until there are those out there that lift it up and give it the honor that it deserves.

[/quote]

I'm sorry for getting off the direct topic, but I disagree with this supposed true virginity/secondary virginity dichotomy. Virginity is not always based upon choice, it is simply a state of being. Chastity is a choice, and it is always open to all (converts, reverts, faithful who are victims of molestation and rape, etc.) Therefore I believe we should applaud chastity, and leave it at that.


#10

It is about the culture of death we have embraced. Through the generalized acceptance of birth control, abortion, and supposed STD prevention wihtout abstinence there are fewer excuses for not having sex other than moral ones. Therefore more people are more easily tempted to fall prey to sin.

People often ridicule ideals that they feel they cannot achieve. It could be that some of these people want to be chaste but simply do not feel that they themselves are capable of that level of self control.

They have yet to understand it is not self control it is God's Grace through Prayer.

Maybe this is a good time to evangelize your Faith. God gives us our trials not only so we can learn from them but so others can learn from them.


#11

[quote="Havard, post:9, topic:191266"]
I'm sorry for getting off the direct topic, but I disagree with this supposed true virginity/secondary virginity dichotomy. Virginity is not always based upon choice, it is simply a state of being. Chastity is a choice, and it is always open to all (converts, reverts, faithful who are victims of molestation and rape, etc.) Therefore I believe we should applaud chastity, and leave it at that.

[/quote]

Spliting hairs, but nevertheless, I concur.


#12

[quote="Mirror_Mirror, post:11, topic:191266"]
Spliting hairs, but nevertheless, I concur.

[/quote]

When several of your close Catholic friends have been raped or molested as a child, it becomes an important distinction. :(


#13

Has it ever been a virtue among men? My impression was that women were expected to be virgins, but not men, not even "back in the day".


#14

Honestly, I think it's ridiculed in the same way MOST Christian values and ideals are...if you think homosexuality is wrong, you're a bigot or a homophone. If you disapprove of men and women living together before marriag, you're a prude. I think it's Satan's way of influencing the masses.


#15

[quote="shondrea, post:6, topic:191266"]
Most of the girls thought that was pretty cool and wished they had waited too.

[/quote]

Women say this all the time but I doubt they really mean it. I think its just something they say to make the virgin feel good about themselves.


#16

[quote="Dempsey1919, post:1, topic:191266"]
I recently joined the Merchant Navy as an Deck Officer Cadet. I am training to become an Officer, and part of this requires me to attend College for the next five months. I am the oldest in my small class and most of my colleagues are between the ages of 17-20.

In class, a lot of the conversations are centred on the sexual exploits of certain class members. They brag about their "conquests" a lot. Many of the younger ones are virgins and I can tell that these conversations make them feel uneasy and shy because the others often make fun of them.

As a faithful Catholic, I generally steer clear of these conversations. However, I really dislike the fact that certain people ridicule others for being sexually inexperienced. Before I became a serious Catholic, I slept with many women but I feel a sense of shame about this now that I am striving to live my faith seriously. I often feel like sticking up for the younger ones but I just keep my mouth shut.

This whole situation has caused me to reflect on the fact that virginity is seriously ridiculed these days. Why is this? When did virginity stop being a virtue?

[/quote]

seems like hedonism is gaining popularity that and having no faith in God? simple answer I know:o but why are so many turning away from God..thats my concern:highprayer: God bless YOU for being faithful.....I served in the USN, out to sea quite often:rolleyes: you have picked an interesting career:)


#17

I would still consider your friends as virgins regardless. They were attacked by an evil monster (in this case a rapist), and it was not by their own free choice.


#18

Maybe the reason it is ridiculed in society is that it is ridiculed within the Church. All you have to do is browse these very forums and see the snarky responses and “lip service” paid to virgins (especially MALE virgins who seek wives who are also virgins).

It also may be an uncomfortable reminder of their own pasts, or because of jealousy on the non-virgins’ part that the virgins can “hack it” but they can’t, so it is just easier to rip virgins/virginity and say that virgins are just socially awkward and if they weren’t they would have become fornicators too?


#19

[quote="Havard, post:12, topic:191266"]
When several of your close Catholic friends have been raped or molested as a child, it becomes an important distinction. :(

[/quote]

I understand and do sympathize with those that have been a victim of such terrible acts. My prayers go out to them, if you want to send me their names privately, I will include them in my rosary one day or adoration.

I will have to say though, that I think that the majority of those that are not virgins have made the decision to no longer be one. I do agree that there are a lot of those that this choice is made for them, I am saying that the majority choose to have sex. Just my thoughts.


#20

[quote="mjs1987, post:15, topic:191266"]
Women say this all the time but I doubt they really mean it. I think its just something they say to make the virgin feel good about themselves.

[/quote]

...I felt pretty good about it till you said that, thanks.


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