I’ll be frank:
I was raised to love God and His one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church. I’m a millennial so I didn’t receive the best catechesis growing up but both my parents had a simple, strong faith. When I got older I started watching EWTN and listening to Catholic Radio. I fell even deeper in love with the Church and decided I had a vocation to the priesthood and religious life.
But ever since I entered religious/priestly formation I have had to violate my conscience a number of times. I was told not to be so rigid when I pointed out liturgical abuses. In novitiate the priests had a huge occupation with everything new-age. We used the enneagram and talked about “panentheism.” At my seminary we are allowed to talk about the evils of capitalism and the death penalty, but not abortion, homosexuality, or relativism. Many times my classes feel like a systematic dismantling of anything the Catholic Church has timelessly taught.
Often times I don’t know why I’m still in religious/priestly formation. I think I would have left a long time ago if I weren’t so sure God was calling me to the priesthood.
Is this normal? Does anyone else think this is a weird experience to have when studying for the priesthood? Is it okay that I feel frustrated and demoralized from all of this?
I hope it’s okay for me to post all of this. I know I’m probably close to violating #19 of the “banned topics” list but I hope it’s okay since I’m not mentioning any seminary or religious order by name.