Why no pre marital sex?

Why is pre marital sex not allowed in the Catholic Church? I understand about unwanted pregnancy, abortion, diseases and promiscuity, but are there other reasons too?

because society has twisted views about what sex and relationships are about. God made sex for marriage and it is a gift from God. God did not make sex for showing your feelings to your girlfriend or boyfriend. You should read a Catholic Catechism because this explains the true teachings of the church and the reasons behidn them. Be careful of society and who you listen to because God is the one who decides what is right and He judges people. God’s word is in the bible and you should read this for information. My girlfriend would be willing to have sex with me before marriage so I am in a bit of a predicament. I may dump her and become a monk or I may just refuse to have sex or I may have sex… I don’t think that I would have sex because I want to make my girlfriend happy for God but this is not making God happy. My girlfriend has been influenced by Satan. God says in the bible that nobody has a right to sin and it is a mortal sin to have sex before marriage, NO BUTS… God also said that we all have a choice regarding sin… we simply choose yes or no… we will all be judged. I may become a monk because Catholics are becoming more liberal and ignoring the teachings of God. I am very passionate and follow God’s laws because I only have meaning and only exist through Him. I am part of HIS creation and we should all respect that.

Quite simply, God designed sex for marriage (between one man and one woman). Sex is sacred, and, therefore, any use of it outside of marriage, whether fornication (sex between two people not married to each other) or adultery (sex between people who are married to someone else) is a mortal sin.

In fact, every sin against the 6th commandment (Thou shalt not commit adultery) is a mortal sin.

A really good book to read for this, and almost every other question you may have about the Catholic Faith is “The Faith Explained” by Fr. Leo Trese.

“‘Purity?’ they ask. And they smile. They are the ones who go on to marriage with worn-out bodies and disillusioned souls.”

  • St. Josemaria Escriva

Resources that you will need [yes, need!]:


“The Good News About Sex and Marriage” by Christopher West

Okay, I’m not a teenager, but 45 and with someone that I have loved 27 years and will marry. We lost each other for a long time and went our separate ways but have found each other again. I was a lapsed Catholic when we were together before and I do not regret having slept with him then and I still love him now. I am unable to have children - so should I not have sex?

The way I heard it described once that really drove the point home for me is that sex is the ‘sign’ of the sacrament of Matrimony. In other words, you think of sex in much the same manner as you think of the water of Baptism, the oil used in Confirmation, the bread and wine that become Eucharist, etc. You don’t get those things except in the context of the sacrament. You can, technically, but doing so outside the sacrament is profane.

One thing the previous posters have forgotten are the words of St. Paul. "Fornicators shall not enter the Kingdom of Heaven"

Fornication is sex outside of marriage, except for adultery which is sex with another married person that is not your own spouse.
I like the defination of adultery that was given by priest of my previous church… "Adultery is the mixing of the Holy with the Unholy"
So, Fornication is a mortal sin and can keep you out of Heaven
Adultery is a mortal sin and can keep you out of Heaven.

This has been the teachings of the Church since the days of Christ and the first Apostles… Nothing new, except for those who would like to reinterpret the teachings of the Church. [FONT=Times New Roman](( Can we say “Justification of Sin” ))[/FONT]

Thanks Will B, that’s the kind of answer I am after.:thumbsup:

adultery which is sex with another married person that is not your own spouse.

I am 100% positive that it is still adultery if the other person is single and you are not. Adultery is sex with ANYONE other then your spouse…their marrital status is not relevant, yours is.

Your age then shows you are an adult ethical person.

Your boyfriend is not your husband before you have exchanged vows at the alter. Until that time you are to spiritually get to know each other and see if you are good marriage material for each other: Test if the person will bring you closer to God or further from Him. If the person you contemplate marriage with is belittling the moral code of Christianity and the Word of God then you have to think long and hard about whether you wanna marry the person.

Someone once wrote: When people are chastely getting to know each other they are free to ask the question: “Will he be a good husband?”
When they have given themselves in the sexual act their question becomes: “Will he leave me?”
Most couples find their communication, which was interesting and florishing before their first time of sex, lacking after sex. It’s halting because the relationship is no longer open to freely discovering the truth about the other person, and oftentimes the together time ends up being sexual time.

When you unite with a person sexually you give the greatest physical and emotional love utterance which is at all possible to give. This has to happen in marriage. Outside it, it’s language of permanence is misplaced, Only in a sacramental marriage blessed by God does the Holy Spirit give you the graces you need to have a successful faithful marriage.

Also, when you become one with a person your brain in flooded with bonding hormones which will make you blind to any warning signs… if indeed you find out you will not marry this person, or he leaves you, you in a sense gave yourself to each other and the seperation will be very hard to bear.
The fact that you have slept together in the past and then split up and now are together again might simply prove an attachment has formed which was not supposed to have formed.

The language of the body is, by nature, spousal. We are created in the Image of God and our innate vocation is to fully give ourselves faithfully and lastingly to one person… not in pieces outside the ways of God.

As a priest once said: When you fornicate you are really only stealing from yourself.

However,… the most important thing is that you work on rebuilding your relationship with Jesus. He is to be your best Friend and the one who is King of your life. When you let Him into your heart you see the inner structures of love much clearer.

This is written with sad experience… I too have tried to pretend that sins dont change my character… but indeed sin is what the devil gets us into, so that he can get back at Jesus.
Sin creates blindness and a multitude of bad excuses …

Trust that God knows better than you when He says that sin conceives and gives birth to death. There is an eternity in which you will live with the same body which you have sinned with. God can cleanse you and renew you. But you have to repent.

The best reason I’ve heard is this:
All sacraments in some way reflect the divine love through spiritual and efficacious means and provides us with graces to better live the Christian life. Marriage, being the first sacrament to be instituted by God, is a reflection of the divine love through conjugal love. Although conjugal love can never give us a full appreciation of the Father’s love for us, it provides us a sense of what awaits in heaven. The efficacious form of conjugal love is the conjugal act. If one were to perform the conjugal act without the graces given by Marriage two things would occur. One, there is no positive spiritual gain (or technically negative for that matter), so it’s not advantageous, and two, if done with the knowledge it is unpleasing to God it would be a mortal sin.
So, to make an analogy, if one consecrates a host (the efficacious form) while not being a validly ordained priest, there is no transubstantiation (the spiritual form) that occurs. Likewise, with the conjugal act and the conjugal love.

The church teaches that you should be open to the gift of life. So once you are married, you can do it like rabbits if you like, so long as you do not use contraception and would not abort. If you are afraid of all the complications that can occur from having a child when the mother is over the age of 36-ish, then there is always NFP. You need to only be open to possibility that God may give you the gift of children.

True… In the interest of saving space, I worded the sentence improperly.

To have adultery, at least one of the two must be married…

The issue of your fertility has nothing to do with the virtue of Chastity.
All people are called to Chastity and faithful Catholics are aware of that.

There are really NO exceptions to the rule.

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