Why people don't want to have the wedding in theChurch anymore?


#1

I have watched with sadness how many of my friends and relatives choose to have their wedding only legaly and not in the Church. Many of them even have the first communion and the confirmation. We are kind of alone in doing our wedding in the Church and we were even made fun of. They we had a fancy wedding, that we wanted to show off. When i asked them about their wedding they said they will not do a rich or fancy wedding like us. Why is the Church wedding a rich weding. I don't recall the priest asking us for any money.

I was told and even read in some newspapers that the religion will dissappear in some countries in a few year. I am sad and scareda little. I saw some of my friends didn't even baptize their children. Where is the faith, where has it gone and what happened to this world?


#2

I cannot imagine not getting married in a Church with the blessing of God. Heaven knows you need all the blessings you can get.
I can't imagine any friends of mine, Catholic or not, ever saying I was showing off because I got married in a Church. Maybe you need new friends?


#3

Do not fear the "trends" of the world, the Church is in no worse of a position than it was in the Dark Ages or immediately after Christ died.

Do you practice your faith? Remember, the first step towards fixing the world is fixing ourselves. Doesn't mean you have to be perfect, look at me. I am quite far from perfect, I struggle with sin regularly, I worry my revitalization of my faith last year is wearing off, but I press on.

And, remember, if the Church is truly the Church, she shall prevail, so take heart in that knowledge.

EDIT: In addition, while I am not planning on getting married any time soon (need to actually have a first girlfriend before I even consider marriage in my future, so I may never even consider marriage), if that time comes, it must be performed in a Catholic church.


#4

[quote="cristyd, post:1, topic:239594"]
I have watched with sadness how many of my friends and relatives choose to have their wedding only legaly and not in the Church. Many of them even have the first communion and the confirmation. We are kind of alone in doing our wedding in the Church and we were even made fun of. They we had a fancy wedding, that we wanted to show off. When i asked them about their wedding they said they will not do a rich or fancy wedding like us. Why is the Church wedding a rich weding. I don't recall the priest asking us for any money.

I was told and even read in some newspapers that the religion will dissappear in some countries in a few year. I am sad and scareda little. I saw some of my friends didn't even baptize their children. Where is the faith, where has it gone and what happened to this world?

[/quote]

Call me crazy....but when I make those vows before God....I kind of wanted to be in His house:shrug:


#5

[quote="cristyd, post:1, topic:239594"]
I have watched with sadness how many of my friends and relatives choose to have their wedding only legaly and not in the Church. ?

[/quote]

it has nothing to do with money because many people, at least in this country spend far more on a wedding held outside a church, especially "destination weddings." It has to do with "complete and utter rejection of the Church founded by Jesus Christ and of the graces they received in their baptism, in preference for the ideals of the secular society" --
----In some cases.

In other cases, the civil wedding is from necessity--immigration issues, military deployment etc.--and despite all intentions to marry or convalidate in the Church, circumstances intervene and it takes longer thant the couple wanted to make things right. That is the most common case we see around here.

In short, you cannot judge, except by what the couple tell you themselves, but you can do all in your power, especially with relatives, to encourage and assist them in bringing their marriage into conformity with Christ's desire for Christian marriage, and facilitate their return to the other sacraments.


#6

[quote="puzzleannie, post:5, topic:239594"]

In other cases, the civil wedding is from necessity--immigration issues, military deployment etc.--and despite all intentions to marry or convalidate in the Church, circumstances intervene and it takes longer thant the couple wanted to make things right. That is the most common case we see around here.
QUOTE]

In our country the wedding in the Church is recognized as valid by the state. If you marry in the Church you are also automatically legally married.

[/quote]


#7

[quote="cristyd, post:6, topic:239594"]

that is true here as well, but some people have urgent reasons for marrying before they can complete the preparation requirements of the diocese, or they fail to ask the diocese to expedite their case. the instances I cite are the most common. Mexican nationals who have a civil marriage (the only kind recognized by the state in their country) have to immigrate when they get their visas, and since keeping families together is a priority, the Church does all they can to faciliate convalidation of those marriages among new immigrants.
[/quote]


#8

I made it clear to my Protestant girlfriend (now fiancee and soon to be wife) that getting married in the Church was not only a necessity for me, but I wouldn't want it any other way. After discussions and explanations and some research on CAF, she had enough information to agree. Now less than 6 weeks away, I am so thankful she agreed, and we both think the pre-Cana classes have helped along the way.

Ironically, I used to work with a woman (non-practicing Catholic marrying a Jewish person), and she didn't want to 'go through the hassle' of marrying in the Catholic Church, so they went to a JOP. But then, she is upset when she wants to have their 1st child baptized and they want her to have the marriage convalidated by the Church. It blows me away how some people try and pick and choose the Sacraments for their own material benefits...


#9

If it helps, I would say 75% of the weddings I've attended in the past 10 years have been in church - almost all Catholic (I can think of almost 10 off the top of my head), plus one Greek Orthodox, one Zoroastrian-Jewish, two Protestant, and one Eastern Orthodox. I'm 33 so I've just about completed the wedding circuit of most of my age group. I don't think the situation is as dire as you think.


#10

For my brother who got married by a JP on a lake it was not only cheaper but the local priest gave him the ok.:shrug: Wrong, yes, but I think alot of our problems stem from the problems in our clergy.


#11

[quote="NSFrame, post:9, topic:239594"]
If it helps, I would say 75% of the weddings I've attended in the past 10 years have been in church - almost all Catholic (I can think of almost 10 off the top of my head), plus one Greek Orthodox, one Zoroastrian-Jewish, two Protestant, and one Eastern Orthodox. I'm 33 so I've just about completed the wedding circuit of most of my age group. I don't think the situation is as dire as you think.

[/quote]

Well in my case is opposite. I have seen so many out of Church and when i ask about it they say why would i do it in Church, that the preparation for it it's a waist of time.:(


#12

Just wanted to offer some optimism. It might be geographic. The weddings I’ve attended have all been in Massachusetts or Chicagoland.


#13

[quote="NSFrame, post:12, topic:239594"]
Just wanted to offer some optimism. It might be geographic. The weddings I've attended have all been in Massachusetts or Chicagoland.

[/quote]

:D maybe you are right


#14

I think there are quite a few things going on with this. One is the misconception that a Church wedding is much more expensive. The wedding itself isn’t, but all the elective trappings are.

I think the mainstream media has really attacked marriage and Church weddings to the point that if people choose to get married at all, many avoid the Church due to their own perceptions, or the perceptions of their family and friends.

That being said, most of the people I know have had a Church wedding, regardless of how devout they are. I was at a wedding recently where my wife & I were two of maybe a dozen people in the church who said the responses and knew when to stand/sit/kneel without being prompted by the priest. Everyone took Communion of course, but they were clueless otherwise.


#15

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