Why should I get married?


#1

Hi,

I am wondering why I should get married? I’m not sure how I should interact with woman because I’m not sure whether I want to get married or not. No doubt I love the company of females, especially the more intelligent or at least funny ones, but really, the whole marriage and sexuality things seem to open up a whole can of worms. Any advice for me from people who have gone through it and survived to tell the tale?

Joshua


#2

Not to be sharp or snipe at you joshrp but if you have to ask you're not ready for marriage.


#3

Marriage and sexuality opens up a can of worms? If you are confused in any way about sex or what the CC determines fit before marriage thats not something that indicates youre ready for a steady relationship


#4

Yea, I know that. A lot of people around me though, don’t know what they are doing either. So honestly, I want to understand what it is before I even think about trying it. Too bad they don’t teach this stuff in school.


#5

[quote="purplesunshine, post:3, topic:253254"]
Marriage and sexuality opens up a can of worms? If you are confused in any way about sex or what the CC determines fit before marriage thats not something that indicates youre ready for a steady relationship

[/quote]

It's not even about me personally getting married. It's just about the fact that everyone's relationships are so screwed up. I have friends who are girl crazy, or boy crazy, and I'm just like, what the heck is wrong with everyone?

Honestly, the Catholic Church is the only organization that has the full truth about human sexuality. I know that for sure. Anyone who doesn't know the Church's teaching and live it, doesn't have the full truth.


#6

I have a fear of impressing women. Is that weird or does that happen to a lot of people? I used to sing in a chorus but I intentionally did not sing to my full potential because I was afraid of attracting potential mates, haha. How do you deflect unwanted attention without making someone feel lousy about themselves as if I am rejecting them?


#7

You need to be honest about yourself and present the real you to women (and men, too). When you were a little boy or a teenager, it’s understandable that you would present a “fake” personality or hide your talents around others to avoid getting beat up or made fun of or excluded. But now that you are a grown-up, you have to stop doing this.

Lying about who you are–and that’s what it is, lying–putting on an “act,” hiding the real you–these are all sure-fire methods to end up in a relationship that will lead to misery for the woman that you deceived, disillusionment for you, and divorce for both of you. Don’t ever be a fake. Be real. Dating is not the time to “hide” the truth about you, but to get to know a real woman and help her to get to know a real man.

Don’t worry about making people feel lousy about themselves. First, there are a lot of men and women who are as good or better than you. Second, many of those of us who aren’t as good or better than you are able to accept without feeling lousy about ourselves that other people like you are better than us. We’re happy for you, honest.


#8

Huh, did you just say I’m better than you? What?


#9

Just take their word and roll with it.:thumbsup:


#10

Not true.

OP…Not everyone is called to marriage. I’d encourage you to reflect on where God leads you. (can’t think of the passage to insert here to help you, but there is a solid passage in the Bible that talks about this very thing–some are called to single life…some to married life, etc…you know of it?) :confused:


#11

That freaks me out honestly. I don’t like thinking of myself as better than anyone else.


#12

Well, that is what I am wondering. What is God calling me to? For a while, I thought about the priesthood, but I really have good reason to believe that is not what God wants for me. Everytime I try, problems come up. There was a young woman once whom I really wanted to marry, but there were some serious problems involved in our being together. It was kind of like a Romeo and Juliet kind of thing, although I hate having to admit that. I don’t like romantic stuff at all. I’m all into agape. Eros can take a back seat.

Joshua


#13

There isn’t marriage or the priesthood as your only options. :stuck_out_tongue: You can be single and called to missions. Just listen to where God’s leading. Far better for you to take your time and make the wise decision, than marry, when you’re not settled on it, and you make a mistake. A mistake that affects another person’s life other than your own. :o I’ll be prayin’ for ya.


#14

Well, it was a real mess. Just couldn’t be dealt with at the time. I left, figuring that if God wants us together, He’ll find a way to make it happen. I can’t do it without God and I’m not going to try doing it without Him. She can take care of herself. She is a very strong and independent person. It sucks though. But whatever. If it’s God’s will, I’ll gladly go with it. She’ll be happier with whatever that is, and so will I. I thought I would be happy with her, but I was more concerned with her happiness than mine, and I wasn’t in a good position to make her happy. So I left.


#15

God parted the Red Sea…surely, He will bring you to your purpose in life, and what you should do regarding your endeavors as they relate to marriage or remaining single. I wish the best for you …whatever you are called to. :o


#16

Check out:
Theology of the Body for Beginners (revised edition)
and
Good News about Sex & Marriage (revised edition)
These are good places to start.


#17

[quote="Vman358, post:16, topic:253254"]
Check out:
Theology of the Body for Beginners (revised edition)
and
Good News about Sex & Marriage (revised edition)
These are good places to start.

[/quote]

I'll get to it sometime. Thanks for the suggestions.


#18

I think it was Socrates who said something like, "By all means marry. If you find a good wife, you will be happy. If you find a bad wife, you will become a philosopher."

God bless.


#19

Wow, that is so hilarious.


#20

[quote="joshrp, post:19, topic:253254"]
Wow, that is so hilarious.

[/quote]

Glad I could help.


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