I have made it one of my new year resolutions to quit self-pleasuring myself until Hell freezes over, but to me, being heterosexual is everything. Attraction to me defines who you are and is the driving force behind relationships.
Do you have any idea what it is like to be the black sheep? The indigo girl? The odd girl out? It just hurts to be surrounded by heterosexuals while you’re homosexual. I feel isolated, ashamed, useless and like absolute garbage. I feel like my existence is shameful.
I honestly don’t know what to do with myself if it turns out I really am gay. The thought just completely devastates me. One of the initial thoughts I had was to give up completely on life and donate my organs and everything I own to charity. Because I wasn’t going to live in this world for the rest of my life knowing that well over 90% of the population is opposite sex attracted and I’m not.
And what makes me angry is that these heterosexuals keep comparing themselves to me as if their temptations are just as bad as ours. That’s just like comparing common anger management issues to someone with full blown manic depression. The two aren’t in anyway alike, and should never be compared. Because most people who have SSA would much rather be drawn to food, alchohol or even to commit adultery with every attractive member to the opposite sex than be drawn to the same sex and God forbid, children.
And how could they be wrong for wishing that? Having an attraction and sex with the opposite gender is part of God’s natural order. We were made for the opposite sex. We weren’t made for sex with animals, our own gender or children or babies. Those are perversions.
OSA is a part of nature. SSA is not. So I don’t know why heterosexuals keep comparing themselves to us. If anything, I find that insulting.