Why so many suicides?


#1

It is puzzling me how many teenage suicides i see on TV. Mostly every week i head about some teenager who suicide over some broken heart or because he got a bad grade or because they fight iwht their parents, because their parents refused them some new iphone or computer or ticket to some concert. It concers me since i find all these reasons childish. As a teenager i also got heartbroken, i fighted with my parents, i got bad grades but never i thought of suicide. Nor my friends. This was just our everyday live and we were even making fun of these experiences.

is there is something wrong with our society today, with the way we raise our children, are they more sensitive that we used to be? i would really like to know your oppinion on this.

My opinnion is that maybe many parents don't refuse anything to their children. So when the child experiences the first refusal he can't cope with it. He grows up with the idea that everything he wants he should get it. So a bad grade or a boyfriend/girlfiriend who doesn't want you is suddently a motive of suicide. My friends and I were refused many times because of money or because of other reasons. We were explained why and we knew that not everything we wanted will be given to us.

Also my mother beeing a teacher she told me something strange. When we were children (my friends and I) and we got a bad grade our parents ussually were punishing us and putting us to study more. My mother tells me that today when somebody gets a bad grade the parents come to school and try to make it that their child is a good kid but the trachers don't like him. Somehow today it is never the child's fault for not studying. So the child never learns to take responsability for his own action. He grows with the false impresion that he is wronged by eveybody so that is a new reason for suicide.

Maybe it's another reason that today teenagers are sexually active while we were teenagers we were only holding hands and going for icecreams and a kiss was considered a victory.Since they are sexual involved and too imature to have such a relation they can't cope with a break-up in a mature way and the world comes to an end.

They have too many attraction on TV and computer, they see too many things, they know too many things about sex, murder, life that they shouldn't know at that age.

I would like to hear also more oppinion about this.


#2

No one in their right mind commits suicide. When I was younger, (I'm 51) I knew a friend who did over a girl (supposedly) but he had also gotten into drinking and drugs. Because of the church's teaching at the time, many suicides weren't told as that, if it could be hidden, his was "an accident" which it is in a sense.

Mental illness was not talked about much then and I think that is a big component. I also feel the music and shows some watch, glorify death and dying, it's not scary to them, it's "cool". I also feel that when under the influence of drugs and alcohol, you do things you wouldn't normally do.
There are teens that are gay, that feel if they come out, they would be hated and can't imagine another day like that, that college boy that killed himself that was bullied and spyed on because he was gay was tragic, if he talked to someone, a counselor, reverend, rabbi, maybe he would have seen the light at the end of the tunnel but for some, the pain is too much. I think we aren't as connected as we used to be, living apart from family and friends, connecting through the Internet but not really connecting. People are still ashamed to say they have any mental illness, I work in the medical field and they still will leave the medications off their forms initially. It's not a shame any more than needing insulin for diabeties.
I also agree, that although when I was 19-20, kids were very sexually active (I was the only one in my group and workplace that was still not) Maybe they start even younger now and it's hard when you act grownup but are still very immature.

It's sad, I pray for those who suffer internally so much, who feel alone, who feel consumed by pain and depression, it's a hard thing and not just because people are spoiled, it's that they can't cope for that second any longer.


#3

The example you showed about the guy kid bullied is an example of a real strugglig situation. I am talking about the 14-15 year old kids who suicide because they fight with the boyfriend or have a bad grade. When i was in school none of us ever thought of suicide. We got a bad grade, we studied more. I have never heard of any suicide in my school.
I am not talking about spoling children i am talking that maybe we don’t teach our children anymore how to deal with difficult situations, how to take responsability, we don’t tell them that bad things may happen and this is not the end of the world, that they can’t do or have all the time what they want.

Maybe we should not expect that the child will come and speak with a phyhologist but we should start talking to them before they start to feel pain or depression.

In my oppinion if a 14-15 year old feels pain and depression then there is something wrong with this world.


#4

Yes, I agree it's an uglier world, much more out there that is open to them, that was closed before. You could sneak a Playboy when I was a kid ,but now the Internet has millions of photos, you can have a fight with a friend, but now it can get told to "500 friends" on facebook. No chance of a quick make-up.

I agree, it can be hard, I was bullied, scared, I prayed all the time, Mary and Joseph helped me a lot, and I wasn't very religious. I just leaned heavily on them. I don't think God is real to many teens either, their lives are very busy and full of "things".

I still was playing with guy friends until 13 or 14, we didn't discuss sex or those things at all, much younger or maybe our real age at that time. Now, it's scary how old they are and so young.


#5

[quote="cristyd, post:1, topic:246573"]
It is puzzling me how many teenage suicides i see on TV. Mostly every week i head about some teenager who suicide over some broken heart or because he got a bad grade or because they fight iwht their parents, because their parents refused them some new iphone or computer or ticket to some concert. It concers me since i find all these reasons childish. As a teenager i also got heartbroken, i fighted with my parents, i got bad grades but never i thought of suicide. Nor my friends. This was just our everyday live and we were even making fun of these experiences.

is there is something wrong with our society today, with the way we raise our children, are they more sensitive that we used to be? i would really like to know your oppinion on this.

My opinnion is that maybe many parents don't refuse anything to their children. So when the child experiences the first refusal he can't cope with it. He grows up with the idea that everything he wants he should get it. So a bad grade or a boyfriend/girlfiriend who doesn't want you is suddently a motive of suicide. My friends and I were refused many times because of money or because of other reasons. We were explained why and we knew that not everything we wanted will be given to us.

Also my mother beeing a teacher she told me something strange. When we were children (my friends and I) and we got a bad grade our parents ussually were punishing us and putting us to study more. My mother tells me that today when somebody gets a bad grade the parents come to school and try to make it that their child is a good kid but the trachers don't like him. Somehow today it is never the child's fault for not studying. So the child never learns to take responsability for his own action. He grows with the false impresion that he is wronged by eveybody so that is a new reason for suicide.

Maybe it's another reason that today teenagers are sexually active while we were teenagers we were only holding hands and going for icecreams and a kiss was considered a victory.Since they are sexual involved and too imature to have such a relation they can't cope with a break-up in a mature way and the world comes to an end.

They have too many attraction on TV and computer, they see too many things, they know too many things about sex, murder, life that they shouldn't know at that age.

I would like to hear also more oppinion about this.

[/quote]

All of what you touched upon in your post were factors that influence young people today. And, sadly, most don't hear enough about God and their faith. Prayer and religious convictions don't seem to be there.

There needs to be lots of family time and good communication as well.


#6

[quote="cristyd, post:3, topic:246573"]
The example you showed about the guy kid bullied is an example of a real strugglig situation. I am talking about the 14-15 year old kids who suicide because they fight with the boyfriend or have a bad grade. When i was in school none of us ever thought of suicide. We got a bad grade, we studied more. I have never heard of any suicide in my school.
I am not talking about spoling children i am talking that maybe we don't teach our children anymore how to deal with difficult situations, how to take responsability, we don't tell them that bad things may happen and this is not the end of the world, that they can't do or have all the time what they want.

Maybe we should not expect that the child will come and speak with a phyhologist but we should start talking to them before they start to feel pain or depression.

In my oppinion if a 14-15 year old feels pain and depression then there is something wrong with this world.

[/quote]

Pain and depression are a part of life, and teens and children are not exempt. I know, I've been there.

The difference is that if the youth has not faced it before, the grief may be more than they believe they can deal with. Even a minor grief issue like losing a girlfriend (particularly if sex was involved, since those body hormones can really stoke up the emotions) may seem unbearable to someone who has not yet faced such a grief.

And they may feel unable to turn to adults for help, since they may be ashamed of their actions to that point.

ICXC NIKA.


#7

[quote="debraran, post:4, topic:246573"]
Yes, I agree it's an uglier world, much more out there that is open to them, that was closed before. You could sneak a Playboy when I was a kid ,but now the Internet has millions of photos, you can have a fight with a friend, but now it can get told to "500 friends" on facebook. No chance of a quick make-up.

I agree, it can be hard, I was bullied, scared, I prayed all the time, Mary and Joseph helped me a lot, and I wasn't very religious. I just leaned heavily on them. I don't think God is real to many teens either, their lives are very busy and full of "things".

I still was playing with guy friends until 13 or 14, we didn't discuss sex or those things at all, much younger or maybe our real age at that time. Now, it's scary how old they are and so young.

[/quote]

I doubt that anyone commits suicide over pornography.

And something to remember is that there may not actually be more youth suicide than there was before, we may just be hearing more about it, thanks to the intrusiveness of the mass media.

ICXC NIKA


#8

I’m only 16, so I wouldn’t know, but perhaps back in the 50’s 60’s 70’s there was generally a much stronger family bond and communion?


#9

I didn't mean pornography caused suicide, but everything is magnified and in excess.

I also believe the world now is more savvy and many suicides years ago weren't told as suicide, some had a few whispers, but most were not spoken. My first roommate in the 70's had her dad commit suicide, my neighbor, a father of 3, commited suicide with his gun over his wife's infidelity, I recently found out my coworkers husband 30 years ago commited suicide, I'm sure there are many stories that never were discussed back in the 60's.

I also think that depression is treated more now, but the world seems more depressing. I was a "Mr. Rogers" kid, had a nice bubble, played with mostly boys in my youth, but we had fun, outside most of the day, active, I wasn't "sad" until my teens and then we talked a lot, emphasized with each other.
Today there is more connection in some ways, but disconnection in others, it seems closer to skype/text, but it's not.


#10

[quote="cristyd, post:1, topic:246573"]
It is puzzling me how many teenage suicides i see on TV. Mostly every week i head about some teenager who suicide over some broken heart or because he got a bad grade or because they fight iwht their parents, because their parents refused them some new iphone or computer or ticket to some concert. It concers me since i find all these reasons childish. As a teenager i also got heartbroken, i fighted with my parents, i got bad grades but never i thought of suicide. Nor my friends. This was just our everyday live and we were even making fun of these experiences.

is there is something wrong with our society today, with the way we raise our children, are they more sensitive that we used to be? i would really like to know your oppinion on this.

My opinnion is that maybe many parents don't refuse anything to their children. So when the child experiences the first refusal he can't cope with it. He grows up with the idea that everything he wants he should get it. So a bad grade or a boyfriend/girlfiriend who doesn't want you is suddently a motive of suicide. My friends and I were refused many times because of money or because of other reasons. We were explained why and we knew that not everything we wanted will be given to us.

Also my mother beeing a teacher she told me something strange. When we were children (my friends and I) and we got a bad grade our parents ussually were punishing us and putting us to study more. My mother tells me that today when somebody gets a bad grade the parents come to school and try to make it that their child is a good kid but the trachers don't like him. Somehow today it is never the child's fault for not studying. So the child never learns to take responsability for his own action. He grows with the false impresion that he is wronged by eveybody so that is a new reason for suicide.

Maybe it's another reason that today teenagers are sexually active while we were teenagers we were only holding hands and going for icecreams and a kiss was considered a victory.Since they are sexual involved and too imature to have such a relation they can't cope with a break-up in a mature way and the world comes to an end.

They have too many attraction on TV and computer, they see too many things, they know too many things about sex, murder, life that they shouldn't know at that age.

I would like to hear also more oppinion about this.

[/quote]

Among many other factors, both internal and external, which may influence one to attempt and commit suicide, I think today there is the additional demand for instant gratification provided by computer technology. In other words, adolescents can get answers, accurate and inaccurate, to their questions literally at the touch of a button. Perhaps the problem arises when they find certain challenges in their life do not have immediate answers or solutions. This becomes a problem because they have been conditioned to develop expectations that whatever they need, want, or desire to change can be accomplished without much effort. When they find this not to be true in all cases, they cannot cope with the "waiting period." Now, I'm not saying this dilemma results in suicide for most adolescents. But for those who may already be vulnerable and predisposed, I believe it can serve as a trigger precipitating depression, anxiety, and other disorders, which, in turn, may lead to contemplating, attempting, and ultimately committing suicide.


#11

My 17-yr-old since as a small child tried telling me and her father that she is a he. Didn't understand it at the time. Went through divorce in 2002 (my ex left me while I was nearly 8 months pregnant with our third child) and struggling to make ends meet. She/he fell under severe depression and felt confused over her identity. Finally took a kind catholic chaplain with a psychological background and researching to find a support group for gay/lesbian/bi-sexual/transgender youths that helped on bringing her/him around and now talking about going on to college. Sure we had some major issues yet feeling accepted (I stress the orientation, not acting out in sin) and everything seemed to have helped bring him around and now he wants to live his dreams, not die. To be honest, I was and am still slightly a homophobe-not agree with bullying by any means but used to make light-hearted jokes about people like my child. I now realize that I need to look past the orientation and see the goodness in that person's heart. My teenager likes working with animals (volunteers at SPCA). He is very pro-life and goes to confessional at times. At the safespace meetings he attends, my car battery died and I needed a jump. A transgender guest speaker came to help me jump-start-I see a lot of kindness and love of God in these people's hearts-I realize now that many of these folks really can't sem to help who they are-I also found Courage-a catholic support for GLBT catholics. I admit-I am still slightly bias with the Sodom and Gomorrah in the bible story and everything yet when I have a child who I love dearly very depressed, feeling so alone-like he said-why would he choose to be something just to be bullied-I went from judging and non-accepting to looking past that at the good qualities and focusing on that in itself.. I leave the rest in God's Hands-praying that God will heal him or bring my child where He wants him to be in His divine plan. I love my child-she/he knows that-and I would never turn against her/him. And leave the rest in God's hands. I just want my child to live his dreams and be happy-and to walk in faith-that's all I can do. :grouphug::harp:
PS-my child did attempt suicide a few years back and had to be hospitalized-now coming out and still having love a support-it made a huge difference with him not feeling so alone.


#12

[quote="cristyd, post:3, topic:246573"]
The example you showed about the guy kid bullied is an example of a real strugglig situation. I am talking about the 14-15 year old kids who suicide because they fight with the boyfriend or have a bad grade. When i was in school none of us ever thought of suicide. We got a bad grade, we studied more. I have never heard of any suicide in my school.
I am not talking about spoling children i am talking that maybe we don't teach our children anymore how to deal with difficult situations, how to take responsability, we don't tell them that bad things may happen and this is not the end of the world, that they can't do or have all the time what they want.

Maybe we should not expect that the child will come and speak with a phyhologist but we should start talking to them before they start to feel pain or depression.

In my oppinion if a 14-15 year old feels pain and depression then there is something wrong with this world.

[/quote]

These kids aren't stupid. They may not be able to express these ideas in words, but they know LIFE IS CHEAP.

They know no one loves them. They know there is no world beyond this.

They look around and see with their own eyes that life is cheap and disposable. They see how trees and fish are valued beyond the life of the unborn. They see: child 'sex education' where they are treated as rutting barnyard animals, the ghettoization of the elderly and ill, abortion, euthanasia.

Are these MY beliefs. No. Not at all.

But this is what they are being taught since birth. They look around, and quick as lightning, they discern, on an unconscious level, the true values this society worships.

Is it tragic? It's beyond tragic. It's an abomination.

"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." - Mat 18:6


#13

Suicides are a tragic symptom of mental illness


#14

[quote="Sailor_Kenshin, post:12, topic:246573"]
These kids aren't stupid. They may not be able to express these ideas in words, but they know LIFE IS CHEAP.

They know no one loves them. They know there is no world beyond this.

They look around and see with their own eyes that life is cheap and disposable. They see how trees and fish are valued beyond the life of the unborn. They see: child 'sex education' where they are treated as rutting barnyard animals, the ghettoization of the elderly and ill, abortion, euthanasia.

Are these MY beliefs. No. Not at all.

But this is what they are being taught since birth. They look around, and quick as lightning, they discern, on an unconscious level, the true values this society worships.

Is it tragic? It's beyond tragic. It's an abomination.

"But if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a large millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea." - Mat 18:6

[/quote]

You might be against abortion and environmentalism, which is all well and good until one tries and link it to every single thing. I have had depression before and I assure you that it had nothing to do with other people having abortions or people saving trees.

Rather, seeing people perform random acts of kindness, whether to a human, dog, fish or fighting for the environment, uplifts me. It certainly does not make me think i am worthless.

The times i did think i was worthless, I later learned was just symptoms of the mental illness that is depression, and had nothing to do with people treating others better. :shrug:

I m sure you mean well and everything, but its so important for people to remember that depression itself is a chemical imbalance, and as such social justice is not not necessarily relevant to this.


#15

I appreciate what you're saying, but not every suicide is the result of mental illness.

Even supposing it were---You can NOT separate the death-worshiping qualities of this culture from 'everything.' It does indeed have an effect on all people everywhere.


#16

laurabarlow, God bless you and your son. Sometimes God has us experience things that help us grow, my parents were slightly bigoted, my mom was ignorant in a lot of ways of life beyond her Italian bubble, Then I met my husband who wasn't caucasian and she had a fit, didn't matter if the religion was the same, all the hidden bias came out. Years later, it's a faded memory most of the time, she is fine and grew to the point of showing her grandchildren off whenever possible. We also had relatives that would say "gay" jokes, try to marry off any son or daughter not inclined by 25 or there would be whispers....well, having some in the family tree also taught them that they are loving human beings, not something to be feared. IT's the lack of love or fear of someone not loving you that makes you depressed. God leads people on his own time and theirs.

I hope your son finds his path with you and his angel by his side.:)


#17

I think PiousTemplar may have hit the nail on the head. I think our family bonds and our willingness to recognize a problem has gone down as our exposure to technology and outside voices has gone up. Parents are less aware of what is going on with their children because the child can hide it easier. I think a lot of kids fall into that boat where they a depressed by situations around them, but I think regardless if it is due to situations or mental illness they need the help of professionals.

I think people are also unwilling to recognize there is a problem. Mental illness is still very much unaccepted by society and there is no "one pill fixes all" solution. You have people using terms like "She's depressed" or "They're so bipolar" lightly in negative terms to describe people in conversations. Even in a song I just listened to by Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" talks about once the beautiful girl leaves "You'll have me suicidal".

I think of what this talk does to people with those conditions and I think as a society we need to be more mindful of our language. These are serious conditions that are no laughing matter. Often times it takes years to be properly diagnosed and get the help needed whether by medication or professional counseling. And once the diagnoses is reached it is a lifetime sometimes of ups and downs with dealing with the illness.

But I think the larger issues is teenagers are more willing to hide these issues than discuss them with their families because their parents and families' opinion is not valued to them and their peers. When families are more secure in communication with each other I believe many of the issues that would lead teenagers to suicide would be addressed before it leads to that point.

We need to keep family life in our prayers that it might be strengthened by a continued relationship with Christ and His Church. :signofcross:


#18

[quote="Sailor_Kenshin, post:15, topic:246573"]
I appreciate what you're saying, but not every suicide is the result of mental illness.

Even supposing it were---You can NOT separate the death-worshiping qualities of this culture from 'everything.' It does indeed have an effect on all people everywhere.

[/quote]

Indeed, but I was speaking just from the mental illness point of view. I of course cannot relate to those who contemplate suicide for reasons such as grief or the end of a relationship. However I would say depression and other mental illness contributes to a huge number of suicides.

You can NOT separate the death-worshiping qualities of this culture from 'everything.

'

I agree, however one cannot meld it in with 'everything' either. Something can be 'bad' and yet completely unrelated to the issues of abortion and stewardship on Earth (which i happen to think are unrelated, but thats for another thread).


#19

[quote="Laurie_86, post:17, topic:246573"]
I think PiousTemplar may have hit the nail on the head. I think our family bonds and our willingness to recognize a problem has gone down as our exposure to technology and outside voices has gone up. Parents are less aware of what is going on with their children because the child can hide it easier. I think a lot of kids fall into that boat where they a depressed by situations around them, but I think regardless if it is due to situations or mental illness they need the help of professionals.

I think people are also unwilling to recognize there is a problem. Mental illness is still very much unaccepted by society and there is no "one pill fixes all" solution. You have people using terms like "She's depressed" or "They're so bipolar" lightly in negative terms to describe people in conversations. Even in a song I just listened to by Sean Kingston "Beautiful Girls" talks about once the beautiful girl leaves "You'll have me suicidal".

I think of what this talk does to people with those conditions and I think as a society we need to be more mindful of our language. These are serious conditions that are no laughing matter. Often times it takes years to be properly diagnosed and get the help needed whether by medication or professional counseling. And once the diagnoses is reached it is a lifetime sometimes of ups and downs with dealing with the illness.

**But I think the larger issues is teenagers are more willing to hide these issues than discuss them with their families because their parents and families' opinion is not valued to them and their peers. **When families are more secure in communication with each other I believe many of the issues that would lead teenagers to suicide would be addressed before it leads to that point.

We need to keep family life in our prayers that it might be strengthened by a continued relationship with Christ and His Church. :signofcross:

[/quote]

Bolding mine - it is ironic how as more and more things about people's lives come out in the open, other things tend to get swept under the carpet.

I m not sure its something we can necessarily prevent, but we can watch out for things.


#20

[quote="PiousTemplar, post:8, topic:246573"]
I'm only 16, so I wouldn't know, but perhaps back in the 50's 60's 70's there was generally a much stronger family bond and communion?

[/quote]

No, there wasn't. People like to think there was, that there was some idealized, familial Camelot back in the olden days. But there wasn't. There were drugs, divorces, suicides, domestic violence, porn, pre-marital sex and babies, addictions, drop-outs and everything else back then.

The difference is forty, fifty years ago there was no Internet and the TV had all of three channels, so we didn't feel like we were surrounded by all this badness like we sometimes feel today. Ignorance is bliss in this respect.

Another big difference was that back then people were too ashamed to have public conversations about addiction, suicide, unwed mothers, lots of societal problems. Heck, I remember the time when people didn't talk about having cancer because of the stigma attached to the disease. I'm old enough to remember Nixon's War on Cancer and how shocked people were when the "c word" was used in the media. And Betty Ford was considered a hero to women when she went public with her mastectomy because women just didn't talk about that stuff with anyone back then, even with their friends and family.

Now, of course, we have Celebrity Re-Hab, tell-all books, charity events and fundraisers for just about every kind of cancer there is, the number of kids born to unwed moms is running neck in neck with those born to married couples, and 1,000 channels on the boob tube catering to just about every purient interest there is.

So today we have to be a lot better at filtering what we allow into our and our family's lives than we had to in the past.


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