Why such a hang up on sex? (I was tempted to lie on an expense report today)

God made us to have sex and wants us to have sex. Sometimes, in certain situations and responsibly to protect the children born of such unions.

I was tempted today at work while filling out my expense report. A certain type of expense has a maximum allowed limit that is prefilled on the computer. I actually spent $1.50 less. We are not required to submit receipts under a threshold far greater than my expense was. I probably could have gotten away with the extra buck and a half. (I didn’t - I put in the correct number.)

Had I left the default number this would have been an example of lying.

God never wants us to lie. God does want us to have sex, in a correct fashion.

Why then, would so many Christian people be so much more upset by someone masturbating to gay porn, doing something we should be doing, but the wrong way, than by someone lying about a buck fifty on an expense report, something we should never be doing?

Because mastrubating to gay porn is wrong. It’s true - God wants us to have sex, with our spouse. Not by ourselves while watching other, unmarried people have sex. Talk about so many wrongs not making a right.

You also shouldn’t lie about a buck fifty on an expense report. I woudn’t do it because my integrity is worth more to me than the cost of pepsi.

Regardless, neither are my sin - I’m not your wife or your employer so I’m not terribly upset by either - but if you commited those sins I’d be sad for you because when you choose to sin, you separate yourself from God. I’ve been there - know how awful that is.

In general I’m not spending a lot of time thinking about other people’s sin - have enough of my own to worry about.

Depends on how you view moral issues. Your example is odd to me because people that lie on expense reports in my experience do it to the tune of many dollars, and hundreds of dollars over a year. Not a buck fifty.

What do you mean something we should be doing?
Your moral compass must be interesting?
The analogy is bizarre.

Because sex is more important and beautiful than expense reports. Sex is the means by which God allows us to assist in the creation of an eternal human person. Misusing something important is worse than misusing something unimportant.

Theft of $1.50 from a company that presumably can afford it without material damage is certainly a sin, but not a big sin. Misusing sex is a much bigger sin.

That’s why.



This is probably no 100% theologically sound, but here’s my take.
Lots of (most?) sins come from pursuing good in the wrong way (even stealing, you’d be pursuing the good of providing for your family in some way, albeit a sinful method). I think that the seriousness of such sins can vary on several planes. One is how intrinsically evil the method or “mispursuit” is. One could possibly be the amount of damage done (though not in a consequentialist way… hmm maybe this shouldn’t be a measure?.. we’ll say maybe here). The third, I think, could be just how high of a good one is “corrupting” by pursuing it through ill means. Thus, murder would be worse than masturbation, since an entire human life is a higher good than the specific component of sex. By the same token, sacrilege would be a worse sin than murder, as it violates a higher good. Along these line, maybe a lie WOULD be a more serious sin than a sexual sin of equal intensity on the other planes. After all, sex is a pretty high good, but truth itself is higher. Perhaps because I’m more inclined to tell small untruths than to commit sexual sins (and thus rationalize), though, I’d say that stealing a dollar would be more akin to entertaining a lustful thought for just a fraction longer after becoming aware of it that to more serious sexual sins.

That’s just my two cents though, still piecing it out.

Why then, would so many Christian people be so much more upset by someone masturbating to gay porn, doing something we should be doing, but the wrong way, than by someone lying about a buck fifty on an expense report, something we should never be doing?

Because one dollar and fifty cents is not a grave matter. Both homosexual activity and masturbation are serious sins because God specifically designed sex with marriage in mind. Human sexuality is sacred, a buck fifty is not even close.

Open scandal. We don’t know or care to know about anybody masturbating for any reason. I have never met a stranger who said either: “I lied about a buck and a half” or “Hi, I’m a chronic masturbator.”

Last I checked, masturbation is something done in private, aside from a certain Street Fair at a certain location.

There is no “hang up” about sex. There is a hang up about people who think that fornication or masturbation are “natural.” Clear Church teaching tells us otherwise.



Many years ago, when I was a young pup, I filled out an expense form to account for I received as a travel advance. I was told there was no procedure or form to give the back. SOooo, I gave the $ to a charity which would have offended those who rejected my good faith effort.

Relative gravity. Masturbating to gay porn is a much large departure from sex as it is meant to be than lying about a buck 50 is from truthfulness.

Further, if we lived in a society where everyone was well behaved as far as sex goes but lied and stole all the time, you might hear more Christians making a big deal about that. But we talk about the actions which are prevalent.


Thank you for the replies. I was in a poor frame of mind when I posted this and in retrospect wished I had stuck to something along the lines of “Why does it seem like sexual impropriety is a greater concern than integrity?” Having said this, though, I have learned from your replies. Also, I took yesterday completely off from posting to be certain that my frame of mind was better.

I also had a thought that perhaps there is so much emphasis (I also wish I had used emphasis instead of “hang up” - I am not trying to be disrespectful, but suspect I may have been - please accept my apologies) on sexual matters as opposed to integrity issues because sex is part of our design, this makes the temptations that much stronger and thus inspires greater zeal from efforts to resist said temptations. Another reason could simply be that modern society is highly sexualized.

Thank you again for somehow finding the spirit of the question that was hidden within my poor wording stemming from a poor frame of mind when so writing. I will try to do better at turning the keyboard off when needed in the future.

Hey, if this was helpful to you, then like most things, God made good out of it. :slight_smile:

Actually, I wasn’t offended by your OP–I don’t know about anyone else. It’s a reasonable question.

God bless you!


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