Why the lack of reverence bothers me


I’ve often commented on how the lack of reverence in my Father’s house bothers me greatly. I won’t detail how each and every way bothers me, but I will share why. Please forgive me.

It’s because of my own sin, my own failings. Father, forgive me. I remember the days of going to Church, and being more concerned about talking to those around me before or after Mass but still in the Sanctuary, while others were trying to pray, or reading the bulletin during the Homily. I’ve often known (but not liked!) the saying that what we detest in others are the things that we detest in our own selves.

It pains me to see others doing the same thing, because I know both sides. I know now what I was missing, and what they might be missing, by being social or self-centered in the very place where it should be zero about me, and all about God. It hurts me to see others do the same thing I did, knowing how it hurts not only them, but our Father. My own sins and failings of my past continue to play out in front of me, and I don’t know how to reach them, to let them know. It hurts me for it reminds me of my own past sins, and it makes it difficult for me to focus, in my own physical and emotional state, to pray as I need and want, and as He deserves. Because I know if someone had reached out to me, and asked for reverence, no matter how nicely, I wouldn’t have reacted with the love that they were actually showing and asking for.

I’m so ashamed of how I acted in the past. Father, please help me to be humble, to revere you for both them and myself.


Praying for your intentions.


Spend your prayer time before Mass praying for them – prayer can change others and move mountains !

Our Priest apparently thinks even the Homily is now too much noise. Last weekend he said we should spend 10 minutes of the Homily in silent prayer, then stood at the Ambo with head bowed and enforced a 10 minute silence. Unfortunately, I think the lesson was lost, since he followed with a 35 minute homily which was on many things, none of them from either the readings or the Gospel.


Very well said.


Ten minutes of silence followed by a 35 minute homily?? At my parish, that would leave him 15 minutes for the rest of the Mass and most likely run it into the following Mass, causing chaos in the parking lot.

Still, most parishes could do with more silence and more reverence.


Thank you for sharing this.


Why do you post like it’s your fault? It’s the fault of those that lack reverence to GOD that you should target your ire. The modern world teaches GOD is less of a supreme being or a king…but your buddy. GOD is your friend, your pal, someone you can drink a beer with. So when you go to GOD’s house, you can wear shorts, T-shirt, or whatever you feel like because GOD’s your buddy. He accepts you as a sinner and welcomes you because he doesn’t care about your outside, but really what’s in your heart. So come on in Church, wear whatever…come in your pajamas if you like…bring your iPhone and play games on it…no problem…it’s just your buddy’s house you’re going to.

Pfft…whatever. The church leaders need to set rules and enforce them. This isn’t a Pizzaria you’re going to, it’s GOD’s house!

Be Still and know that I am God…At the Name of Jesus every knee should bend.

Is your iPhone more important than GOD? Can you part with it for just 1 measly hour? Is GOD not important for you to wear your best clothes (or go buy some) as if the President of the USA came to your house? Is his house not a holy place that you dare not squeak a whisper of everyday life as to dilute it’s sanctity? Can you not guide your friend outside for some chat and giggles?

The lack of reverence bothers you because you love GOD and see people coming into your father’s house without reverence and it implies they do not respect GOD. Much like the feeling Peter had when the Romans came to seize Jesus…he got angry and sliced off the guy’s ear because he loves Jesus and would protect him with his life.

You should take this issue up to the Parish Council. Little things that go unchecked start to grow until they can’t be checked anymore. Like a crack in the foundation, when it isn’t repaired, it grows bigger and bigger until the whole thing falls apart.

I bet at ever Mass there is at least 1 time when the Priest is giving a homily, someone’s phone goes off. And worst, the person answers it. Yah GOD, sorry I gotta take this call because you know…the person calling me is more important than YOU. :mad: That’s when I feel like slapping them.


His next Mass is at another town 10 miles away, & an hour and a half later, so it didn’t cause any conflict there. He also puts out the Monstrance with the Holy Eucharist for 20 minutes prior to each Mass to enforce silence in the Sanctuary. He really likes a lot of silence, but he also, unfortunately, feels people may not hear him clearly, so he uses both the Ambo microphone and his wireless microphone at the same time during Homilies, so we get a lot of echo and feedback and have a hard time with the homilies due to it’s volume – very loud. He is a very spiritual person, and loves the Lord a lot, so we all try to tolerate these quirks. He is from another country, has a strong accent, and I think he feels the volume will make him more understandable. Unfortunately, it just makes the accent worse due to the re-verb and echo effect. The quiet is nice, and we do have the reverence prior to Mass, but no incense, little singing (but a great Cantor and Choir), but he thinks music, even Sacred Music, is too much noise and allows very little.


I never turn down prayers. Thank you for your prayers.

Sigh, oh that I could pray as reverently as I wished I could. I know that God knows my intent, but the irreverence is loud and distracting for me. I will do that, though.

Thank you.

True. And I’m so sad and sorry that I had any part of it, even though it was many years ago (because we’ve been away for the better part of them).
One day we tried the Adoration Chapel 30 minutes before going across to Mass at a quarter till. It’s in a separate building; a family of 8 (4 adults/4 kids) came in, sat in the front pew, and prayed a very long (to me) Divine Mercy prayer and a Litany, OUT LOUD; this, despite 4 others already there praying silently.

You’re welcome.

I’m not accepting blame for those that are irreverent. I appreciate that you were concerned of that. I’m blaming myself and taking responsibility for my own from before…for my ignorance and not understanding what was going on, and realizing the enormity and importance. It does more than just ‘bother’ me. It saddens, disappoints, and yes, sometimes, angers me. That’s my FATHER’S House; can’t you spare a reverent Mass for Him? (I’m learning about when anger is justified and righteous, as opposed to arrogant and self-centered. As you say, Jesus was angry at times, too.) One reason I attend parishes other than my own registered parish on occasion (thank you Lord for the abundance of parishes and Masses. AMEN!) is to find that reverence. Weekday Mass truly feeds my soul! I love praising Him in song soooo much, but I love the quiet and reverence so much more.

My parish has a lot of good going on in it; this, for me, however, is a big problem, but I also have to realize that I may be part of the problem in my own way, growing older, and some health issues as well. Until God makes it clear to me that He wants me to approach this issue in my parish, I will do my best to suffer it, and pray for it. I’m not going to beat myself up continually, but perhaps I’ve received this understanding (finally…sometimes it takes a while for me to figure things out) to give me the patience and ability to deal with it, until it improves.

As I mentioned, one of the reasons (of a few) that I was irreverent was lack of knowledge and understanding. I may need to realize that not everyone is being disrespectful out of laziness or true irreverence, but because of a lack of teaching about why we should be so reverent. I think these are otherwise good people.

Ironically, I attend a ‘healing Mass’ that, if I let it, would bother me for it would seem irreverent compared to the regular Masses I attend. But I’m aware of what I’m getting into there.

I truly appreciate your comments. Thank you.


Funny that you should mention healing. I was just thinking of praying for your spiritual healing in connection with the pangs of regret that you have described.

May the Holy Spirit strengthen your faith and bring you healing and peace, and may the Holy Spirit assist and guide all of us, so that we may respond always with love to those whose behavior tends to irritate us.


Prayers for you.

I know I was not most reverent and well behaved at times in the past but have repented for those sins. I know better now. I turn my phone to silent for an hour, dress better, and pay better attention these days. Perhaps its the fact I’ve had my moments in past that keep me focused more.


I (also) would be happy with a 10-minute period of silence before Mass. That shouldn’t impose a hardship, should it?


You wouldn’t think so…but it must, for people can’t seem to do it, or even appreciate why others would want it.


I think there is a misunderstanding on this post of mine. We had 20 minutes of silence and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament PRIOR to the start of Mass. The Mass began as usual. When Father went to the Ambo for the Homily, THAT was when he stated we would have another 10 minutes of silence for the Homily! I’ve never seen that before, nor had anyone else in our Parish. Startled everyone, and made most of them uncomfortable, since they had no idea of why he was doing this. He followed the 10 minute “silent Homily” with a 35 minute Homily (spoken, of course) on about 5 different subjects, none of which were related to any of the Readings or the Gospel. We had no idea of what he was doing, or why. This weekend, he told us at the beginning of his Homily that we were going to do this more frequently, as he thought we should learn to practice Meditation. Most of the parish members are not trained in Meditation and do not understand it. There are perhaps 10 people out of nearly 100 who regularly practice Meditation.

I am not sure this is the way to teach Meditation to a full congregation, especially since we had a lot of out-of-state visitors present, who looked totally confused!


You’re right. This is not the right way to teach Meditation. But is that what he really wants?


I wasn’t misunderstanding, but simply quoting and answering the ‘10 minutes BEFORE Mass’ information, as quoted again above. :slight_smile:


Yes, this weekend, he told us he wanted us to learn to “listen to God & learn to meditate”. I just am unsure if the Homily is the correct place to teach this. A class on Meditation or teachings from St. Teresa of Avila might be more appropriate. He told us Mass is too “noisy” with music, responses, etc… and silence is better.


He might have a point there. But the pre-Vatican II Mass was criticized as being too quiet.


It seems to me that a wiser approach would be to establish one “silent” Mass, where there is no music and where silence is encouraged. Those who find silence more conducive to worship, or who need to flee their noisy world for a while could attend this Mass.

But leave the other Masses the way they are. Many of us are deeply touched in our souls by the music and responses. I don’t mind a little silence during Mass, but I would prefer to hear beautiful music and the voices of the my brothers and sisters in Christ.

This is what our parish does on weekends, and it works well.

I also think that the priest might want to try holding more Benediction in the parish, or even a Perpetual Adoration chapel. Those who crave silence could find it in these settings. (Our parish has these, too.)


The best thing to do when others are acting irreverently is to offer our pain and discomfort to God in reparation for our own lack of reverence and to comfort Jesus as he’s being neglected. Maintaining serenity and love in our hearts is a WONDERFUL way to mortify our own will. Getting angry at others just feeds our own prideful resentments - NOT a good thing.

It always used to bother me when the altar was abandoned during the sign of peace and the ensuing jolliness washed out the Agnus Dei. Then one morning, I tried to mortify my will and my preferences and, after exchanging greetings with those around me, I focused on the chalice and paten in the empty sanctuary and said over and over in my heart “you’re not alone, you’re not forgotten on your altar. I love you and I’m here with you.” Whatever else was happening was irrelevant. God called me at that moment to serve and love him and I did. What had previously caused bitterness now produced joy and a deeper love for Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. Maybe the others in that parish experienced the love of Christ by greeting others. Maybe they just welcomed the excitement and diversion. I don’t know. But I did learn that in each moment of our lives God calls us individually and presents an opportunity to love him. They key is whether we will act upon it.

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