I want to discuss abstinence, Gardasil, abortion, and NFP with my daughter regarding my two granddaughters who are ages 11 and 8. I was told to mind my own business. I know my daughter has opposite beliefs on these subjects, but I feel that without any discussion regarding these important issues, that all my family’s souls will be lost. Besides my constant prayers for them, don’t I have an obligation to speak up in a loving way?
If your daughter literally told you to “mind your own business” when you tried to discuss your concerns about your granddaughters’ moral formation, then she was certainly disrespectful to her mother. You might tell her, “You have the right to teach your daughters, and I have the right to teach you. If I did not previously teach you to speak to me respectfully, then I expect you to learn now.” Then explain to her that she may disagree with you on certain issues, but that you expect her to frame her responses politely and with the respect even an adult child owes to her parents.
As to the matter at hand, your time to formally train your daughter in morality has long since passed. Now, all you can do is to pass on to her important information that she may not yet have seen (such as information on the dangers of new vaccines and on the merits of chastity education and NFP), and you have the right only to a respectful hearing for any information you do pass on – but you cannot train your granddaughters in direct opposition to their mother’s wishes. Beyond that, you are generally limited to prayer and Christian example.