I am 30-years-old, my husband and I have been trying to conceive for almost 3 years, and I am anxiously awaiting an appointment at the Pope Paul VI Institute in August. So far, no one knows what is causing my infertility.
My question has to do with reconciling my infertility with my faith. It just seems so odd that God would create people who can’t procreate, when we are told over and over that it is such an important part of who we are. I have been very angry at God lately, and I know I shouldn’t be. While I can’t understand why God wouldn’t want to heal me, I know he must have his reasons (although that is difficult to accept).
But more importantly, I can’t understand why God won’t at least help me to be at peace with my infertility. Most of the time I feel that, despite prayer, God has abandoned me in my suffering. The pain is just so bad. Is there anything I can I tell myself when I start to get angry and frustrated with God? Any theology I can hold onto when I get depressed? (I once asked a priest for advice and he said he had no idea, and that it was among one of the first questions he’d like to ask God. I appreciated his honesty, but I’m hoping you can give me more to hold onto.)