Sorry that asking you to explain your question causes you to be annoyed. I often ask questions, part of my nature to understand. (Hate in this format, as I think you are using it, is not a sin. Hate - meaning really annoyed, excessive bothered, great irritation. While I could be wrong - I don’t think “hating” when you need to explain questions = sin.)
The reason for this [stupid] question is that I see on this forum some kind of “sex is not a good thing unless we can make a debate of who is guilty to sex in some form”.
Your question is not stupid. It is your valid thought that causes you to question what you notice.
I see sex as a pure thing in a marriage.
It seem, to me, that The Church really don’t want to talk about it unless it is in a negative manner.
I don’t think Church teaching is to not talk about sex unless it is in a negative manner.
I think Church teaching is that sex is good! Like many good and wonderful things created by God, sex can be misused, but as designed by God - sex is good.
It is so easy to sin when sex is the subject because The Church, even if we think so, don’t really have a clear answer except when sex is not something that can be a) swept under the carpet and b) wrong issue and wrong time for it. Chastity is a virtue? Yes it is, and the most surprising thing is that it is a virtue also in a marriage.
I don’t think the Church wants to sweep sexual love under the carpet. Chastity is taught by the Church as part of marital love, part of sexual love within marriage, something beautiful between husband and wife - sexual love reserved for each other and no one else.
My conclusion is that The Church don’t want to really talk about sex, and yes I know that there are many book’s about “allowed sex” but they will not help me,
Maybe where you are living and maybe the Catholic people you have been around don’t want to talk about sex, but I think the Church teaches that sex is a wonderful part of marriage - not a list of “allowed sex”.
"God created man in his own image. . . . male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying: “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Gen. 1:27 - 28)
The first thing God says to the couple He created is “Be fruitful and multiply.” It looks like the first thing He tells them to do is “have sex”.
I have only The Bible to lean on, but the main thing do remain: please don’t have sex for fun, only to have children and do not enjoy it, and if you do, don’t talk about it. Can’t help it. that is how I see it. And it is not only a Catholic “problem”. No, not at all. Most Christian Churches don’t want to “talk” about sex.
I understand that this is how you see others - Catholic and non-Catholic - saying don’t talk about sex.
I don’t think the Church says don’t have fun during sex. A healthy woman of child bearing age is only fertile a few times each month. Yet, the Church in no way says couples can only have sex during a woman’s fertile time. That means they are having sex for a unitive purpose not to procreate during those non-fertile times - and most likely enjoy it.
Couples can most definitely enjoy the pleasures God filled the sexual organs and total body with during sex.
Now the talking about it… **our culture **often says sexual union is considered private - not for discussing with everyone.
(Ironically another part of our culture says talk about it, sing about, make tv and movies about it - have sex with anyone at any time. Of course, that is a misuse of God’s plan.)
There can be a time and place to discuss sex - depending on how and who one is discussing it with. It is normally considered rude to walk up to someone and describe private events between a husband and wife with others. It is not taboo to discuss that God gave the enjoyment of sex to husbands and wives for growing closer together and for having children.
Every sexual union between a husband and wife should draw them closer together. Every sexual union should be open to life - meaning not using anything to stop conception.
Having sexual union when the wife is not fertile or sexual union when one or both of the spouses are infertile is still “open to life” if God wants to grant a child “inspite” of the infertility.
So I reckon my question is still “why?” Sex is not dirty. Sex is not wrong. Sex is, as far as I can remember, last time was in 1995, nice. Sex is OK as long as both part’s are married (to each other) in a Christian Church. We can have sex also for pleasure.
Yes, God created sex with a lot of pleasure! Couples can enjoy this pleasure every time.
But every time I try to discuss this with someone who know much more then I do, I face a stonewall. “Mmmm…let’s talk about something else…ehhh…got to go now…bye bye…” So why is sex not housebroken, and please don’t say it is because it is not. (Or am I just stupid?)
I don’t know why the people you want to discuss this topic are “too uncomfortable”. You are not stupid.