Why?


#1

OK, I know masturbation seem to be the only sin on this forum, and I don’t understand, can’t anyone cheat on their spouse or something else…well, back to my question.

Why is almost every sin somehow someway connected to sex, yet The Bible give only one “hint”, the ninth commandment, and it is mentioned quite briefly in a couple other passages. Why is sex “tabu” for The Church? It is allowed in a marriage, and that is fine, I have no problem with that, but why is it something “we really should not talk about”.


#2

Suggest you read the Catechism of the Catholic Church

usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catechism/catechism-of-the-catholic-church/epub/index.cfm

Try Article 6 - The Sixth Commandment which hopefully will answer your questions.


#3

Is your question:

Why has society placed a “taboo” label on discussing sex?

or

Do you believe the Church sees it as a topic not to discuss?


#4

Sexual sins are among the most common. The sex drive is a powerful force, both for good and for evil.

Most people don’t go around murdering, or stealing, or committing heresy; so, people talk about what they do.

God Bless


#5

Holy Sex! - A Catholic Guide to Toe-Curling, Mind-Blowing, Infallible Loving by Gregory K. Popcak

catholiccompany.com/holy-sex-catholic-guide-to-toe-curling-mind-blowing-infallible-loving-p1004771/

I haven’t read the book - but it looks like a book that shows that it is not taboo in the Church to discuss sex.


#6

Well I consider theft, murder, lying, and any number of other things to be sinful and most of them don’t have anything to do with sex.

The reason that there is more discussion on sexual sin is that people like to delude themselves into thinking it’s okay. We live in a society that exults sexuality (and lying and theft in some ways). The point is I’ve never seen a question here like “So I was walking around last night and decided to kill this person, but he gave me the stink eye so it’s okay, right?”

In the end God gave us some clear ideas. In the broadest terms they could be considered to be don’t lie, steal (including covetousness here), kill, fornicate (including all sexual sins), or blaspheme. Of those only stealing and killing are pretty much universally condemned in our society. Lying is tolerated. It it fornication and blasphemy that seem to be not only accepted, but in many places encouraged.


#7

The reason this topic comes up a lot on the forum is because it is something many people struggle with and this provides them an anonymous place to discuss something they’d be otherwise too embarassed to speak about in person.

Simply because there is a disproportionately high number of threads on the topic does not indicate that the Catholic Church views this as the worst sin imaginable. It just means a lot of people come here asking for input on it.


#8

Popcak is disgusting. He has publicly stated that he believes that the Big Bang was God having an orgasm.


#9

I don’t know if he is disgusting or not. I don’t know the statement you quoted, nor what he may have been implying in such a statement.


#10

Two out of ten commandments is hardly “every” sin.

The Bible gives way more than one “hint” for both the ninth and sixth commandments. Perhaps you need some additional bible study, or you could review those commandments in the Catechism of the Catholic Church paying particular attention to the footnotes which reference biblical passages.

I am not sure where you get the idea that it is a “taboo” subject.

You’ve put that in quotation marks, are you quoting someone or some document? That is not Church teaching.


#11

Hmm, interesting. Keep on posting.


#12

Actually, i can think of many other sins that are just as common, maybe more so - eg. gossip (calumny & detraction), failure to prioritise God (first commandment), & the sin of avarice (anger) is a big one, as well as the sin of pride which all students are taught to develop these days, via self development & self promotion. Of course the biggest sin is that which is often against charity - charity of thought & word towards our neighbour. But i think these sins are maybe not so glamorous as the sins against sex. :eek:
But having said this, there is more good than evil, & it will always be so.


#13

I hate when I need to explain my questions. (And yes, I know hate is a mortal sin.)

The reason for this [stupid] question is that I see on this forum some kind of “sex is not a good thing unless we can make a debate of who is guilty to sex in some form”. I see sex as a pure thing in a marriage. There was a time when I did not share that opinion but that is another story, and a long one. It seem, to me, that The Church really don’t want to talk about it unless it is in a negative manner. There are more important things, never thought I would write that sentence, in life. It is so easy to sin when sex is the subject because The Church, even if we think so, don’t really have a clear answer except when sex is not something that can be a) swept under the carpet and b) wrong issue and wrong time for it. Chastity is a virtue? Yes it is, and the most surprising thing is that it is a virtue also in a marriage. Some say “for a while if both parts agree” and some “for the rest of the life”. That makes me a bit confused. Good old masturbation is a mortal sin, among with murder! My conclusion is that The Church don’t want to really talk about sex, and yes I know that there are many book’s about “allowed sex” but they will not help me, I have only The Bible to lean on, but the main thing do remain: please don’t have sex for fun, only to have children and do not enjoy it, and if you do, don’t talk about it. Can’t help it. that is how I see it. And it is not only a Catholic “problem”. No, not at all. Most Christian Churches don’t want to “talk” about sex. So I reckon my question is still “why?” Sex is not dirty. Sex is not wrong. Sex is, as far as I can remember, last time was in 1995, nice. Sex is OK as long as both part’s are married (to each other) in a Christian Church. We can have sex also for pleasure. But every time I try to discuss this with someone who know much more then I do, I face a stonewall. “Mmmm…let’s talk about something else…ehhh…got to go now…bye bye…” So why is sex not housebroken, and please don’t say it is because it is not. (Or am I just stupid?)


#14

Worst analogy ever. Who would He even be having an orgasm with?


#15

I’d make a smart-aleck comment trying to explain it but I’d probably end up breaking the Second Commandment so I think I’ll hush for now.


#16

It does depend upon who you ask and in what context. If it is because there is a problem, surely the best option would be professional help. If it is to discuss the act or compare notes, then that seems to be dangerous territory. From my limited experience, Christian churches do talk about marriage but concentrate on the underlying aspects that can damage or enhance a relationship.

I would be reluctant to engage in a conversation about what I strongly consider should be a very private and intimate biological and/or loving act between two people. For us singles, the conversation could come across as either making us feel bad because we are excluded and runs the danger of undermining our journeys of faith and through life as the single people God wants us to be. Alternatively, it could cause bewilderment, pain and self-loathing for those who relate the the biological act with pain, discomfort. manipulation and suffering.

The Church does have lots of conversations about sex and spends a lot of time and resources on the subject, however, it is engaged in fighting and trying to heal the damage caused by the evil use of sex as a weapon of torture (within and outside marriage).

Sorry, but that is my view for what it is worth.


#17

I’m sorry my post noting a book on a Catholic view of sex from a Catholic author, Gregory Popcak, triggered mentioning of an unexpected reference from that author.

I don’t think we can understand why the statement might have been made by that author, especially if we don’t know what the quote is, nor the context, nor what the author may have explained himself.

My hope is what appears to be an usual statement was not intended to be disrespectful towards God by author Gregory Popcak.


#18

You seem to be the only person seeing this.

Again, an opinion but no substantive support for that opinion. Please provide some examples of “the Church” only wanting to talk about sex in a negative manner.

Huh?

Why is that surprising? From “the Church”: “Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being.”

Well, there is the problem-- calling what is evil “good”.

Based on what?

That is not what the Church teaches.

You seem to be seeing what is not there, in the Bible or anywhere else.

Well, let’s ask the opposite. Why do you want to talk about sex?

Sex is also OK between two married people who are not Christians.

OK, so since some person you want to talk about sex with doesn’t want to talk about it with you, you have from that drawn some conclusion about “the Church”? Not logical.

Housebroken? Is this perhaps a mistranslation from your native language?

Housebroken means when you train a dog not to urinate in the house.


#19

Sorry that asking you to explain your question causes you to be annoyed. I often ask questions, part of my nature to understand. (Hate in this format, as I think you are using it, is not a sin. Hate - meaning really annoyed, excessive bothered, great irritation. While I could be wrong - I don’t think “hating” when you need to explain questions = sin.)

The reason for this [stupid] question is that I see on this forum some kind of “sex is not a good thing unless we can make a debate of who is guilty to sex in some form”.

Your question is not stupid. It is your valid thought that causes you to question what you notice.

I see sex as a pure thing in a marriage.

It seem, to me, that The Church really don’t want to talk about it unless it is in a negative manner.

I don’t think Church teaching is to not talk about sex unless it is in a negative manner.

I think Church teaching is that sex is good! Like many good and wonderful things created by God, sex can be misused, but as designed by God - sex is good.

It is so easy to sin when sex is the subject because The Church, even if we think so, don’t really have a clear answer except when sex is not something that can be a) swept under the carpet and b) wrong issue and wrong time for it. Chastity is a virtue? Yes it is, and the most surprising thing is that it is a virtue also in a marriage.

I don’t think the Church wants to sweep sexual love under the carpet. Chastity is taught by the Church as part of marital love, part of sexual love within marriage, something beautiful between husband and wife - sexual love reserved for each other and no one else.

My conclusion is that The Church don’t want to really talk about sex, and yes I know that there are many book’s about “allowed sex” but they will not help me,

Maybe where you are living and maybe the Catholic people you have been around don’t want to talk about sex, but I think the Church teaches that sex is a wonderful part of marriage - not a list of “allowed sex”.

"God created man in his own image. . . . male and female he created them. And God blessed them, saying: “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” (Gen. 1:27 - 28)

The first thing God says to the couple He created is “Be fruitful and multiply.” It looks like the first thing He tells them to do is “have sex”.

I have only The Bible to lean on, but the main thing do remain: please don’t have sex for fun, only to have children and do not enjoy it, and if you do, don’t talk about it. Can’t help it. that is how I see it. And it is not only a Catholic “problem”. No, not at all. Most Christian Churches don’t want to “talk” about sex.

I understand that this is how you see others - Catholic and non-Catholic - saying don’t talk about sex.

I don’t think the Church says don’t have fun during sex. A healthy woman of child bearing age is only fertile a few times each month. Yet, the Church in no way says couples can only have sex during a woman’s fertile time. That means they are having sex for a unitive purpose not to procreate during those non-fertile times - and most likely enjoy it.

Couples can most definitely enjoy the pleasures God filled the sexual organs and total body with during sex.

Now the talking about it… **our culture **often says sexual union is considered private - not for discussing with everyone.

(Ironically another part of our culture says talk about it, sing about, make tv and movies about it - have sex with anyone at any time. Of course, that is a misuse of God’s plan.)

There can be a time and place to discuss sex - depending on how and who one is discussing it with. It is normally considered rude to walk up to someone and describe private events between a husband and wife with others. It is not taboo to discuss that God gave the enjoyment of sex to husbands and wives for growing closer together and for having children.

Every sexual union between a husband and wife should draw them closer together. Every sexual union should be open to life - meaning not using anything to stop conception.

Having sexual union when the wife is not fertile or sexual union when one or both of the spouses are infertile is still “open to life” if God wants to grant a child “inspite” of the infertility.

So I reckon my question is still “why?” Sex is not dirty. Sex is not wrong. Sex is, as far as I can remember, last time was in 1995, nice. Sex is OK as long as both part’s are married (to each other) in a Christian Church. We can have sex also for pleasure.

Yes, God created sex with a lot of pleasure! Couples can enjoy this pleasure every time.

But every time I try to discuss this with someone who know much more then I do, I face a stonewall. “Mmmm…let’s talk about something else…ehhh…got to go now…bye bye…” So why is sex not housebroken, and please don’t say it is because it is not. (Or am I just stupid?)

I don’t know why the people you want to discuss this topic are “too uncomfortable”. You are not stupid.


#20

Have you spoken with the priest who visits with you about this? Maybe he can explain that the Church does not teach “don’t talk about sex”.

May God help you find peace in your questions.


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