Wife asked what I want to do with my life


#1

I’m not sure how to answer this. I am content in my office job. But my wife does make vastly more than I do as a teacher. I guess I don’t know what I would like to do long term. Honestly I am satisfied just making an income to help support our household. My dream has been to be a husband and father. I guess I never really put emphasis on what my dream job would be. Thoughts?


#2

Hard to offer anything concrete with what you said. Are you 25 -35 -45? Had you and your wife discussed this (work, roles, etc.) before or even now?


#4

I’m 26. We have. I gave the same answer in the past. I have been looking at what I could get a masters in. But I’m not sure what to do!.
:slight_smile:

I like literature, nutrition, psychology, history, theology.


#5

Hi,
Complacency isn’t exciting. BUT, if your role of Husband & Father are your career goals, then it’s not complacency. BUT, you should be a great Husband & Father. THINK! Is your family exciting to you?? Your tone is apathetic. You may be in midlife crisis. You physically may be low in testosterone. Check w your MD.
Your wife should make you smile w a content sigh. Your job should give you purpose. Are you keep things energized in the office?? We’re not 19 but sparks happen here & there.
God give you the wisdom to see your path. To help you make your hallmark Christmas card w your present family Show you how to put sparkle in their hearts.
In Jesus name
Amen


#7

I am actually really happy right now. I guess I just haven’t given it a thought. I feel like something is wrong with me for being very pleased with my life situation right now.

I guess I’ll pray more on it.
What gives me purpose is when I’m at work knowing that I’m helping to provide for my family and I feel most satisfied when I see my wife and son when I get home.


#8

Have you considered that your wife asked this question not so much because she wants to know what your dream job would be but rather because she may not want the burden of being the main breadwinner for the long haul? Perhaps she’s thinking of the future and how many more children she may likely have or would like to have and anticipates that maybe some day she may like to have the option to cut back to part time or substitute teaching in order to focus on the family more.

You mentioned you are content with your situation in “helping provide.” Is your wife content with your helping to provide or would she like to see more initiative from you in becoming the main breadwinner?

You may want to ask her what she thinks about your contentedness with how things are now or if she has any misgivings about it. It would be good to check in with her to make sure this isn’t an issue in which she could be starting to brew some kind of resentment of the situation.


#9

She said she wants me to happy in the end.


#10

In that case, you simply have to discern whether that would be to stay where you are now or spend time exploring options that match your interests. It may be that it will be a few years before a picture develops of where your true interests lie. No need to rush anything if you are both content at the moment.


#11

Stay at home parent is a noble thing to do with your life. My husband did it for many years as I was the breadwinner.


#12

Great reply


#13

I’m a stay at home homeschooling dad of six. I love it. But it seems odd your wife is asking these questions and you don’t really have an answer.


#15

I guess I’m torn between wanting to go to work and staying at hone. We just arnt in a financial place for me to stay home. I’d have be a part time employee. We talked about this. She is in full support. We just have to be smart in finding the right time.

I love taking care of children, using my creativity in cooking, and relieving stress from my wife’s plate by helping keep up with house work.

I actually had to stay home today because we didn’t have a sitter and I loved it and felt quite fulfilled at the end of the day.


#16

That brings back memories of my dad. Papi worked when he had to, but he was always home when we needed him. My husband is currently the stay at home dad. He will be taking a job in the summer and then I will be home. Kids benefit by having living fathers that are available to them.


#17

She may be wanting new horizons for you? Ask her, how does she surmise your family? If you’re not having a midlife crisis, maybe she is. You both need to sync. After X amt of years, a marriage needs spicing up. Go on a cruise. If she, she’s you being more financially involved, take courses to change your job.None of us will know. Husband & wives need to communicate.
Reaffirm your love.
Dear Gif, help him to communicate w his wife concerning her feelings about their lives at this time. Show him what husbands can do to fulfill her expectations. Let excitement in discovery fill the air. In Jesus name. Amen


#18

How old is your son again? I can’t remember if he’s in the newborn phase still or not. I generally don’t advocate making major family decisions with a brand new baby in the house. That doesn’t mean not to discuss it or to avoid looking into options. But make sure you give yourselves time to adjust to your new family dynamic before doing anything major.


#19

Well we haven’t been married a year yet! I just started my current position less than a year ago as well. So family life is all new for us.


#20

Tell her that you are happy. Some people live to work and other people work to live. If your wife is a teacher, there’s a pretty good chance that she is very invested in her job and finds it rewarding. It may be hard for her to understand that a person can be just as happy, even without getting that rewarding feeling from their employment. Just tell her the truth. Tell her that you are happy as you are, being her husband, and being a father. You work your job because people are supposed to be responsible and support themselves, not because you feel your particular career defines you as a man. Frankly, if you aren’t particularly unhappy in your job, you’re doing a lot better than many!


#21

Only a year! Heck, I was thinking it was in mid life crisis time. Forgive me. In one year, just sit her down & ask her. This is part of growing together in the early phase. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
May God allow you to feel His love & wisdom, through this time of reassessment. In Jesus name. Amen


#22

A lot of women ask questions like this. Women (I am one!) love to talk about deep subjects and want their husbands to respond, share dreams for their lives, talk about plans for the future, discuss goals, map out a “life plan”, come up with a list of “Rule for Our Family” (E.g., Always kiss each other goodnight), make lists of things to do this weekend (get Christmas tree, go caroling with the Bible study group, watch It’s a Wonderful Life, etc.), and just chat about what’s happening in our souls and with our relationship with Jesus.

A lot of men say, “Yikes!” over all this chatter!

But studies have been done showing that most women crave at least twice the number of spoken “words” as most men. A man will come home from work and collapse into a chair and crave silence or quiet. A women will come home from work and want to sit down and have a long talk.

My husband and I were on a road trip this weekend, and we talked about all kinds of “deep” subjects, mostly brought up by me. We’ve been married almost 40 years, so he knows all about this and responds. No grunts from him!

If you haven’t done so, read through a (decent) romance novel (not one of the “torrid” romances with a sex scene on every other page). Even though some women will snort and insist that they don’t care for that sort of thing, many of us really do love romance and equate a romantic evening not necessarily with love-making, but instead, with lots of talk/conversation about the relationship and our future together over a candlelight dinner or for many, a glass of wine.

I think this is the way God made us. Many (not all) men are content to simply work and play, eat food, relax, and go to sleep, and never really go outside of their comfort zones and take some risks to try new things or tackle a new challenge. Often ,a woman will encourage a man she loves to “make a list and start working on it”. A good wife will not do this in a nagging way, belittling her husband, but rather will encourage him and praise his successes.


closed #23

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