Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion


#21

The truth will set you free. It shows you cares, maybe wants to know more about your faith. You see honey we Catholics take the Eucharist very seriously. We are never worthy to receive but sometimes we just shouldn’t receive. It she as why you tell her you look at porn or whatever your sin was and you intend to confess it so you don’t do it again. She will admire you honesty.
It will do good that you opened up to her. We are supposed to confess our sins to one another. The light will help you sin no more.


#22

We’ve been over this before, and I realize that some couples apparently don’t talk to each other about everything, but like others have said I am mystified about what issue could possibly be so “bad” or so “private” that I wouldn’t mention it to my husband if he happened to casually ask.


#23

Not necessary. Unless it is a sin to do so.

Not that they must discuss with each other. However, in cases where the spouse asks, then it may be necessary to explain. Unless by doing so is a sin. Is it a sin to do so?

The level of openness between husband and wife really depends on their relationship. We don’t know of their relationship. One marriage relationship may be different from another.


#24

You may be more understanding and chill than some wives. I knew of a guy (and no, that isn’t code for “it’s me”) who, like a lot of guys, struggled with masturbation from time to time. Problem was, his wife didn’t view it as an ordinary vice that isn’t really a cause for a freak out. She literally considered it on par with him having sex with a woman from his office and would have had a meltdown.

In that situation, I think discretion was the better part of valor for him.


#25

^^^^^^^. This was absolutely my reaction. I cannot conceive of any other way.


#26

An interesting point. Can you give one or two of those citations?


#27

1 Corinthians 11:27-30 Eating/drinking unworthily is to eat and drink damnation unto oneself, even sickness and death.
Romans 12:1 Offer your bodies as a living sacrifice as true and proper worship.


#28

This is my reaction too.

If my wife ever didn’t attend communion, I’m sure I’d casually as about it in the car on the way home or something. I don’t see much (if anything) in our relationship that we’d have an issue bringing up to each other.


#29

Yeah, my husband when he went to Mass with me was used to seeing me go up to Communion. If I decided suddenly not to go, he would likely ask me about it afterwards, out of curiosity and/or concern, not because he was prying. If I said, “I don’t want to talk about it” he would have accepted that, but the odds are given that me and my husband were very close, I would have already discussed with him for an hour what was bugging me before it got to the point of me not going to Communion.


#30

You would be very wrong. We were very clearly taught as kids in the old days, you never ask anyone, not your spouse, not your kids, no one, period, why they did not go to communion.
It’s very simple, if someone does not go to communion due to sin, they know they sinned and are subsequently behaving appropriately, they do not need fraternal correction, and a spouse or parent is NOT a confessor.
Furthermore, you are most definitely leading them into a near occasion of sin. A) they may be tempted to lie (see the op) and B) if they sin again, they may be tempted to receive unworthily, which is grave matter!!! You do not ever take a risk of causing a near occasion of sin for someone else when grave matter is at stake.

I do not care how much spouses think they are open with each other, this is very inappropriate behavior.
To the OP, you need to explain this to your wife.

Everytime this comes up on this forum, I shake my head in amazement with some of the responses. It is no less than asking someone what sins they confessed.


#31

Hi - Much like the OPs wife I’m not Catholic, so I was not taught this as a kid. If my wife were to ever not go to communion I would have casually asked her why…but odds are I’d probably know and wouldn’t need to ask.


#32

I understand the OP’s wife. It was likely an innocent question. So she just needs to be told why it is wrong. What I don’t understand are long term Catholics on this forum suggesting it is ok. It’s not.


#33

Hm, interesting, I never noticed that. But what makes you think this applies directly to the Mass? (I’m not saying it doesn’t. I’m just interested to hear your reasoning.)


#34

We are members of Christ’s Body. At the mass, we offer Christ to the Father, and since we are living members of that Body, and because Christ is not divided (1 Corinithians 1:13), we offer ourselves to the Father. Nothing else would make sense.


#35

I think this teaching went out the window in the era of post-Vatican II when people started going to confession less and going to Communion probably more.

12 years of Catholic school and no one ever mentioned it to me, nor did my mother ever mention it to me, but I also don’t remember anyone in my family ever not going to Communion unless they had already received once that day (this was before you could receive twice) or they had accidentally eaten something within the hour before, in which case there would be a lot of frustration being expressed over “oh, I forgot and ate something” so everybody knew the reason.

Regarding my mother not mentioning it to me, it could be that it just never came up rather than her not knowing it.

Whole line of reasoning strikes me as bizarre, but whatever.


#36

Sin is not between only God and us.

A spouse has a right to ask.


#37

Is there some Church Teaching that you are basing your assumption On? What makes you so confident it is wrong to ask your spouse?


#38

This is not what I said.

I said the statement would be I prefer to keep that between God and myself.

We are allowed to have preferences.


#39

But sin cannot be kept just between us and God. It already does damage to the whole body.


#40

But, that does not mean I have to declare my sins with my mouth (outside of confession) if I prefer not to. God knows what I have done, but, generally speaking, you don’t and I don’t have to tell you if I prefer not to.


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