Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion


There is a fine line here. You don’t have to. But you should, if your spouse is asking.

And it is NOT wrong to ask. Someone may have wrong intentions, or an unforgiving spirit, but it’s not objectively wrong to ask. They also may have holy intentions, and the Spirit of forgiveness and healing!

I’d like some real Catholic Teaching to support those claiming it’s wrong.


To the OP, are you unable to answer honest to her?

If I was her, I would think Catholics behave kinda weird by your answer. :wink:


Well, since I’m not one of the people who declared it wrong, I can’t probide any evidence for you.

She can ask, but he doesn’t have to give an answer if he prefers not to.


That’s good.

Do you think there are certain sins which a spouse might need to confess, if the couple are to keep a pure relationship?

What if the sin was directly related to causing harm to the other, or their kids, or family members?


That person should seek the counsel of his priest and be guided by his instructions.


Yes, or listen to your conscience.

James 5
Therefore confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power in its effects.


2 Cor 2
But if any one has caused pain, he has caused it not to me, but in some measure—not to put it too severely—to you all. For such a one this punishment by the majority is enough; so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him. For this is why I wrote, that I might test you and know whether you are obedient in everything. Any one whom you forgive, I also forgive. What I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of Christ, to keep Satan from gaining the advantage over us; for we are not ignorant of his designs.


How is it bizarre? Would you ever ask your spouse what he confessed? I am assuming no. (If you think that’s appropriate then this won’t make sense). So let’s assume your spouse committed a mortal sin and does not feel comfortable telling you. It happens. If he then doesn’t go to communion because of that sin, and you ask him why, you are asking him to tell you that he committed a mortal sin. Same as asking him what he confessed.
This is so simple, I can not believe people think it’s ok.


Wrong, why do you think the seal of confession exists if some sins cannot be kept between God and us?
Heck, why not make it ok for priests to tell a person what their spouse confessed, since it’s ok for them to ask and when they ask their spouse, they should expect an answer.


The seal of confession is for the priest not to expose other people’s sins.

Do you have Church Teaching that says it’s objectively wrong to ask why someone is not receiving???

By the OP’s answer, his wife could have said, “you did not need to receive for that reason. It’s actually wrong to not receive for that reason.”


Actually, in “Deep Conversion, Deep Prayer” Fr Dubay writes of married couples getting to a place where they can be open about what sins they are fighting. It is part of the spiritual journey. That is really a powerful book.


Only if they are ripped out of context :slight_smile:

Romans 12 speaks of offering ourselves as a living sacrifice to God. It is speaking about Christian life, not specifically about Mass.



My spouse was a Presbyterian. He didn’t go to confession.
As far as my own sins, my husband knew about whatever I did way before the priest ever heard about it. I wasn’t really into keeping secrets from husband.
God bless


No I don’t it, it is simple logic. A person has no absolute right to know if their spouse committed a mortal sin or what that sin might be. If you ask your spouse why they didn’t go to communion, you are likely asking them about something that you have no right to know.


Well good for you, but that was your choice ( you being the sinner in your case), not his.


Again, that is a good ideal. Note the part about “getting to that point”.


It’s more illogical to make up a silly reason not to receive Communion, than for a spouse to ask out of love for their husband/wife.

Husbands and wives should have a much better relationship than accusing one who is concerned about the soul of their loved one of wrongfully caring about their spouse.

Also, it can be related to the rights and protection of the innocent spouse. Harm could have been done, or laws broken which continue to harm.


The fact that a spouse thinks they have the right to keep a serious sin secret (from their spouse) means they have NOT healed from the sin, and it is continuing to do harm in them.


In a polite and subtle way, you may have conveyed that it is none of her business.


It seems to me it is just common sense that it is rude to ask someone so deeply personal a question as why they didn’t receive Communion. It would almost be like asking them what they confessed in Confession.

When it comes to spouses, if the spouse who didn’t receive chooses to share, then that is fine; but the other spouse does not have an absolute right to ask or know. Depending on the relationship between the two, chances are that the spouse knows anyway, especially if it has to do with a habitual sin that one struggles with, such as, say pornography for example. It is more likely to be something like that than some deep dark secret that the spouse is hiding from the other. (If on the other hand it is something like adultery, then that is a different matter; the other spouse does have a right to know about unfaithfulness, but that is still a separate issue than whether he/she has the right to know about an individual instance of abstaining from Communion.) A person’s choice whether or not to receive Communion should never be used as some sort of “what did you do” test.

Hopefully we all agree at least in general that it is rude to ask or speculate about those who do not go forward for the Eucharist, even if we disagree in the case of whether a husband or wife has a right to ask or know.

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