Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion


#61

Or maybe it directly affects her life. Maybe she does have a right to know what he has done.

Maybe he is being overcome by his sin, and needs to confess for her forgiveness.


#62

Where did you get this rule, other than your “common sense”?

It greatly stifles a pure relationship between husband and wife!


#63

That’s just my instinct about the matter. There is no rule about it, as far as I know; just as there is no rule that they must share.

I’m not advocating that husbands and wives keep their struggles with sins a secret from each other. But I am not comfortable with using an instance of abstaining from Communion as a “what did you do” test.


#64

But I never said they always have to share. But it is for their healing that they would. In some situations, they might have an obligation to share.


#65

Does it have to mean a “test”, or could it mean that the spouse actually cares?


#66

No one has a right to know your sins. That is between you and your confessor.


#67

Says who? What about those you sinned against?


#68

Says the doctrine of the Church.

Canon law:

Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.

“In any way” includes requiring that the penitent reveal their sins to another person, even their spouse.

As I said earlier, respected spiritual masters like Fr Dubay talk about getting to a place where spouses want to freely discuss their sins, but, that is not a commandment and not everyone is at that point in their spiritual growth. That sort of exchange requires spiritual maturity.


#69

That is the rule for confessors


#70

If you WANT to tell your spouse your sins, you may. If you want to tell anyone on earth your sins, you may. You are NOT required to tell anyone except Father in the Confessional.


#71

Yep, you can dishonor your spouse if you want to. You can also ask your spouse why they aren’t receiving. A faithful person would share. A person free in Christ would share. A person remaining chained to their sin would keep it a secret (unless it does not directly affect the spouse).


#72

Please cite the Church doctrine that states one must reveal their sins to their spouse and to fail to do this dishonors a spouse.


#73

Sin against your spouse is already dishonor. To keep it a secret, even when they ask, is a double dishonor.


#74

But if you ask about sin, you are not really giving your spouse a coice.


#75

I think, depending on the trespass, one can explain different ways.

My point is that one can ask in good faith.

One can decline in good faith, or decline in further wrongfulness


#76

Remember that you and your wife are one flesh… if it were me, I would tell my husband. I would feel he had the right to know. If she was interrogating you, that was the wrong way for her to handle he situation. However, if she was just asking, you shouldn’t feel judged. She’s probably just a concerned wife. I would have done the exact same thing.


#77

It is actually the exact same thing as asking what they confessed. Any confessor could give lots of examples of times where he would advice a person not to tell their spouse of a sin. He could likewise give examples where he would advice them to tell their spouse. But if the spouse asks, he/she is not about what the other confessed, he or she is not leaving it up to the penitent.

Likewise, if I don’t go to communion, my spouse asks me why, it’s the same as saying “what sin did you commit?”. The exact same thing.

And it puts a person on the spot, to eaither lie, and perhaps next time to go unworthily so as to avoid a confrontation. Hence you are leading them to a near occasion of sin.

I am out if here. Good day all.


#78

Also, being that she is not Catholic, she may just be interested in or questioning why a Catholic would abstain from Communion since we love the Eucharist so much. It’s a great opportunity to witness that to her.


#79

So, what’s the real reason? It looks like you’re fishing the pond for a good answer. Only the real reason is the best reason, and the truth.


#80

However, this is your personal opinion only. Not the opinion nor teaching of Holy Mother Church.


DISCLAIMER: The views and opinions expressed in these forums do not necessarily reflect those of Catholic Answers. For official apologetics resources please visit www.catholic.com.