Wife asked why I didn't receive Communion


#81

Here is an old thread that discusses the same issue:


#82

Or maybe she is just being too nosy.


#83

Wow! You sin against someone and she is wrong for being “too nosy”?

“How dare they question me!!! I’ll sin against them, and they better not ask me what’s wrong!!!”


#84

You sure are making some assumptions here.


#85

Objectively wrong actions must be tested.

I believe someone can ask their spouse (and other very close relationships) “why aren’t you receiving?” Out of love, faith, and charity.


#86

And what happens if they decline to answer? What happens next time when they are afraid you will ask again, so instead they ho unworthily? Who provided that temptation to that future sin?


#87

Sounds like a very fearful relationship.


#88

No, it’s not. I have certainly committed sins that I would be embarrassed to tell my wife. If it happened that it was mortal and she asked me why I didn’t go to communion, I would feel like I was really out on the spot. And we have a very healthy relationship.

Can’t help notice that you didn’t answer the question about what you would do if your spouse declined to answer.


#89

Sorry you would feel too embarrassed. Do you think Purgatory will be easier?


#90

Still ignoring my question…

Spouses do not, in general have a right to know or enquire about each other’s sins.


#91

What difference does it make what I would do? Maybe I’d be a jerk? Hope I would be genuine!!!

Spouses have a right to love their spouse intimately!


#92

The OP had absolutely nothing to do with confession. I suggest that we stick to the topic.


#93

Why do you assume the OP’s wife had the idea it had to do with sins?

I had zero exposure to Catholicism before meeting my wife. I would have had no idea that having sinned (without confession) would prevent someone from going to communion.

If she had out of the blue just not gone up, I would have innocently asked why as well.


#94

I don’t. I was very clear that the OP’s wife was likely asking a very innocent question, not even knowing it had to do with serious sin. What I cannot believe is that ling term Catholics actually think it’s ok to ask the question.


#95

You are correct about the OP. but the question “why didn’t you go to communion?” is for all practical purposes the same as “what did you confessed?”. It’s actually worse, IMO, because it could lead to temptation to a grave sin in the future.


#96

I hope this wasn’t your intention, but this comes across as a little manipulative. You are making a lot of assumptions about the sins of someone you’ve never met.


#97

What does that have to do with revealing your sacramental confession details?


#98

Let me ask you this…

Husband and wife have a fight. Husband was wrong and also said hurtful things. She feels bad about his behavior and wants him to turn from it and be forgiven.

She sees him refrain from Jesus, and she wants to know why he is hurting and be healed.

She asks “what is the trouble?”

Is she wrong?


#99

In my marriage, I would never ask my husband such a thing. If he wants to talk to me, he will. I also do not hold grudges. After 3 decades of marriage, you kind of get past the hurt feelings stage, or at least we have.


#100

I guess I would assume it was because of the fight and he hadn’t been to confession yet, if I assumed anything at all. I wouldn’t use confession or refraining from receiving communion as any part of our “making up.” I’d want him to apologize to ME, if he was in the wrong.

If I refrain from receiving communion, I guarantee that almost always my husband knows why, even if I don’t spell it out for him. We don’t “tell each other everything,” but our family life is pretty intimate. He knows if I had a rough day with the kids, for example.


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