Wife coming home with Rx for pill...what to do?


#1

My wife is coming home with a Rx (prescription) for the pill. I have a dilemma here and maybe y’all can help me with what I should do. My instinct is to say I will not go and have it filled for her at the drug store. I usually do go and have her Rx filled and pick them up. Or I can hear the argument that she is using the Rx for painful periods and to regulate them. How can I handle this and the sex thing with as much charity as I can because it may get pretty ugly.

P.S. as you may deduce she is not a practicing Catholic.

Michael


#2

The pill is often prescribed to relieve painful menstrual periods... but it doesn't help or cure whatever underlying issue is causing the pain. I would encourage your wife to want to find the underlying issue, which most OBs rarely will pursue. A reproductive endocrinologist may be more appropriate...


#3

Even if she was a faithful Catholic she would be allowed to take hormonal birth control pills for this reason. You refusing to get it filled for her especially since you are not the one getting the cramps each month might not be the best idea. Is this her reason? Or is it just for birth control?


#4

Personally, I would not cooperate in any way.

She can go and pick up the prescription herself. I'd just tell her that "I don't feel comfortable with this decision even from a health standpoint. I think you should explore alternatives."


#5

[quote="goatmom, post:3, topic:247001"]
Even if she was a faithful Catholic she would be allowed to take hormonal birth control pills for this reason. You refusing to get it filled for her especially since you are not the one getting the cramps each month might not be the best idea. Is this her reason? Or is it just for birth control?

[/quote]

I am pretty sure a faithful Catholic would only be allowed to do this if they were also abstinent. If someone else knows for sure, please chime in.


#6

[quote="leonie, post:4, topic:247001"]
Personally, I would not cooperate in any way.

She can go and pick up the prescription herself. I'd just tell her that "I don't feel comfortable with this decision even from a health standpoint. I think you should explore alternatives."

[/quote]

Good advice. "The Pill" has many health risks, about which even non-Catholics should educate themsevles.


#7

[quote="MichaelP71, post:1, topic:247001"]
My wife is coming home with a Rx (prescription) for the pill. I have a dilemma here and maybe y'all can help me with what I should do. My instinct is to say I will not go and have it filled for her at the drug store. I usually do go and have her Rx filled and pick them up. Or I can hear the argument that she is using the Rx for painful periods and to regulate them. How can I handle this and the sex thing with as much charity as I can because it may get pretty ugly.

P.S. as you may deduce she is not a practicing Catholic.

Michael

[/quote]

I take it she is not using this for any other reason than contraception....I am sorry, and I will pray for you. You need to talk to your priest about this ASAP. If she will go with you, even better b/c it affects her as well.

Is she Catholic, just not practicing, or non-Catholic? If Catholic you may be able to reach her by explaining that ABC is not OK with the Church. If not, well....


#8

A person may take a medication that has the secondary and unintended side effect of sterility if all four criteria of the Principle of Double Effect are met.

However, the Pill also has abortifacient properties. IMHO, such a situation fails the fourth criteria regarding the good result being proportionate to the bad result. Cramps are not proportionate to abortion. However, there are moral theologians who come down on both sides of the fence.

I suggest you discuss your course of action with your priest and read this document as it pertains to an innocent spouse in a situation where the other spouse contracepts:

vatican.va/roman_curia/pontifical_councils/family/documents/rc_pc_family_doc_12021997_vademecum_en.html


#9

Before you do anything, have a conversation with her about it. This is about more than suffering from menstrual symptoms (even if that is her reason for the prescription). This involves you as her husband and father of her children so you have the right and even the duty to say something about it. In addition to the spiritual aspect of it, you should get the medical facts about the pill. The side effects can be disastrous and even deadly.
Please read with your wife from this website: physiciansforlife.org/content/view/2081/36/

Quote: "Firstly, oral contraceptives (OCPs) have their own significant risks, namely an increase in cardiovascular events (such as an increase in venous thromboembolism, pulmonary embolism, myocardial infarction, and stroke) especially in older women and smokers (1,29-38).
Secondly, OCPs increase the risk of the world’s most frequently occurring cancer, namely breast cancer (1-28).
Thirdly, OCP use leads to an increase in Human Papilloma Virus (HPV) infection and an increase in cervical cancer, which is the 2nd most common worldwide cancer."


#10

[quote="AnotherChance, post:5, topic:247001"]
I am pretty sure a faithful Catholic would only be allowed to do this if they were also abstinent. If someone else knows for sure, please chime in.

[/quote]

That's my understanding as well since it is abortifacient.

If your wife is having painful periods, I recommend she read Fertility, Cycles and Nutrition by Marylin Shannon. It's a great book that addresses common reproductive issues.


#11

I would suggest maybe talking to her and seeing if she will meet with a NaPro Physician in order to find the route cause of the issue and a natural treatment if this is the reason. I have a friend who is Protestant who was having exceptionally painfully periods coupled with Migraines. Granted she does not have the same beliefs in contraception that I do. But she was willing to try almost anything because she really did not want on to be on the Pill after already having given birth to three children and having other things in place as she put it and other side effects. (This is none of my business and frankly issue for another day)

I sent her the link to the Pope Paul VI Institute she was so thrilled with the information and could not believe some of the side effects that she was on the search for a NaPro Physician that accepted her insurance to work with her neurologist. From a medical standpoint this is the best way.

If it is contraception - talk to your priest - you may not be complicit once you have made your opinion known.

I am sorry for the difficulties you are facing.


#12

Well, I wouldn't use scare tactics about her getting hpv and cervical cancer if she is a chaste married woman. I am also pretty sure that you can use the pill for medical purposes even if you are Catholic. And cramps and pcos and other symptoms are certainly not as serious as an abortion, but they can be very debilitating and make life sheer hell. So, to put them in the same category as a zit can be be somewhat dismissive.


#13

As a guy (and I'm one too), it's clear our perspectives are going to be a bit different on this issue than the ladies-and in a way, I don't think our opinions-as guys- are as valid as the ladies.

They are the ones who have deal with pregnancies, pills, NFP, other feminine stuff :blush:...

whatever you do, tread lightly my friend.


#14

[quote="Rascalking, post:13, topic:247001"]
As a guy (and I'm one too), it's clear our perspectives are going to be a bit different on this issue than the ladies-and in a way, I don't think our opinions-as guys- are as valid as the ladies.

They are the ones who have deal with pregnancies, pills, NFP, other feminine stuff :blush:...

whatever you do, tread lightly my friend.

[/quote]

(a) I am a woman

(b) Morality isn't based on the sex of the person contemplating the action. Intrinsically evil actions are wrong no matter who does them.

(c) Why can a man not formulate a response on clear Church teaching? Should men no longer be gynocologists because they don't have babies?


#15

Good advice as well - remember charity and good will.


#16

A person can't use an abortifacient, unless the person is totally abstinent.


#17

The Church does not teach this. If you are proposing it, please provide the documentation.


#18

(a) Relax. I wasn’t stating anything about the morality of the action.

(b) Relax. Not everything said on forums is argumentative/confrontational. Don’t take everything as such.

© Relax. I just think, as a dude, our response to female sexual matters isn’t the same as a womans. In my opinion, I don’t care if a man is an OBGYN and a woman an expert on the male prostate workings. Imagine that-not having an opinion on stuff.

(d) Relax.


#19

[quote="1ke, post:17, topic:247001"]
The Church does not teach this. If you are proposing it, please provide the documentation.

[/quote]

It has already been addressed here on this thread, when it was first incorrectly stated that it was OK for Catholics to use the Pill. Then it was stated again by another poster that it was OK. So I was just correcting it again. Killing a child after he is conceived is not approved by the Catholic Church. It's discussed and documented frequently on the Catholic Answers radio program. I don't have time to look for the documentation tonight. But I will try to do it tomorrow. If Catholic Answers radio show is wrong every time they say this, I would like to know about it as well. I certainly do not want to spread misinformation about the Church's teachings.


#20

quote="Rascalking, post:18, topic:247001" Relax. I wasn't stating anything about the morality of the action.

(b) Relax. Not everything said on forums is argumentative/confrontational. Don't take everything as such.

(c) Relax. I just think, as a dude, our response to female sexual matters isn't the same as a womans. In my opinion, I don't care if a man is an OBGYN and a woman an expert on the male prostate workings. Imagine that-not having an opinion on stuff.

(d) Relax.

[/quote]

I think I have gotten used to Rascal - I think his point is that some men tend to overlook some women's pain in certain areas because they do not understand therefore do not tend to show the correct amount empathy to their peril.

This is definetly one of these situations where one must have empathy but also share their opinion firmly. That can be tough for anyone.


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