I am sorry to hear about your situation and will pray for you and your wife.
First of all, I would encourage you to lead your wife to this website and to look around: staycatholic.com/ It provides all kinds of compelling reasons why one should remain in the Catholic Church.
Secondly, are there really no parishes nearby that are more traditional? I know that in my diocese, some parishes seem far more “liberal” (hate to use the word, but eh) than others. Perhaps you could consult a priest and say that you’re looking for a more traditional style of Mass? Or, at least at my parish, there are different Mass styles at different times…Does your parish offer multiple Masses with varying styles? I’m guessing you already looked into those things, but I thought I’d just throw it out there.
Finally, the Mass is so beautiful, and when you really consider the miracle that we get to be present for every time we attend, I don’t know how anyone could even consider going somewhere where this isn’t the case (I admit that I’m a recent convert, but I HAVE heard many cradle Catholics say the same thing). And keeping that in mind, I think we need to be careful about seeing our church attendance as something completely “for us,” because it’s also something that we offer to God in order to comply with His Will.
So, although it’s undeniable that God does SO much for us at each Mass by letting us partake of his Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, maybe you could talk to your wife about viewing Mass also in terms of something WE do for GOD. We shouldn’t be showing up with the attitude of: “Okay, Lord, I know you’re going to let me receive You completely in the Blessed Sacrament and all, and that’s nice, but I’m not going to be happy unless the music is just right too and the people are all friendly too and the priest gives good homilies too and the pews aren’t uncomfortable too and…” You get the picture Please don’t get me wrong, I’m not implying that your wife is that way, but I have heard some priests on Relevant Radio respond to questions from callers who felt like they “weren’t being fed” at Mass in a similar fashion, so I tried to imitate their response.
As far as her being so miserable about having converted, does your parish offer Eucharistic Adoration? I’ve heard so many people say that when they started using that form of prayer, their appreciation of their Catholic faith really deepened. I also know it really helped me. Maybe that could help her? And also, many parishes have women’s Bible studies or other opportunities to meet and form friendships in the context of faith…Are none available at yours?
God bless you and your wife, and I hope SOMETHING in all that rambling might help a little :o