Sorry about the title. I joined the Church (crossed the Tiber) in 2008 after many, many years of rebellion and quasi-protestant church hoping (Baptist, Independent Bible types, Methodist, Presbyterian, Four Square, etc). My wife (of 20 years, long story that) was raised quasi-Catholic, i.e., baptized in the RCC, went Catechism as a kid til about 8 or so, but her mom was Methodist and took her to her church (secretly) whenever possible. Her parents divorced ending any church involvement at all until we married in 1991. At the time I did not realize the importance of her RCC baptism until a couple of years ago when I became a Catholic and we had gone through a divorce just prior. We have since “re-married” and yes we both understand (now) the divorce and our relationship meant in the Church’s eyes. That is not my question here, that is behind us.
What has happened since we remarried is we have moved to very small coastal community, the local Catholic church is very small and the priest is … well “preoccupied” with other things. He is very difficult to talk with and is extremely aloof. My wife simply does not like him, not that that is a requirement to attend Mass. So, she does not attend or wish to attend. Her opinion has morphed into not liking “church” at all and choosing what she wants to believe and not believe. It is a very odd place for me to be in.
After much counseling and the initial reaffirmation of our marriage (which I have called our “re-marriage”) all seemed well. However, my two daughters (17 & 15) wanted nothing to do with Christianity, relating our marriage troubles, our divorce, my counseling and remarriage, to “Christian church ****”. We are a very dysfunctional family to say the least. My daughters are good kids, there is a foundation of truth within them, but are in complete denial of that truth and will show that in various ways and acts of rebellion against any authority, boundaries and rules. My wife does more to support them, in that she is a lover of options and flexible boundaries. Now that my wife no longer has an interest in anything Church related (saying it is my thing) and my daughters are in full rebellion, I feel like an island, floating in a sea of uncertainty.
At this point I have little say of what goes on in our family, from my wife controlling all finances (she works full-time, makes the lion share of income vs my SSID) to the day to day functioning of everyday life. I am, what amounts to, the chief cleaner, cook, bottle-washer and dog walker of the family. I have my issues (still have): passive aggressive tendencies, brooding or moping about, and walking away from stressful situations when I know I will lash out. I am not a perfect father or husband, far from it, but I love my family ans want what is best. Because I was away from them for over two years (divorced living separately) my counselor and priest told me to take my re-entry cue’s from my wife. In this I am doing my best, but often feel left out, over-compromised and ignored.
I pray constantly, meditate most every day, say the Rosary often twice or more times a day, read and write constantly. I feel so alone. Few if any resources in my immediate area, I do not drive, no public transportation and a “closed” parish priest.
This is too long, but I do not know how to make it shorter. I need some resources and your prayers.