Hello everyone! Hope you are all doing well. I hope this doesn’t offend or make anyone uncomfortable, I am just genuinely looking for opinions and advice.
I’m a 25 year old Lesbian who lives with her partner. I have had so much trouble with the idea of faith. A little back story. I have known that I am gay since I was pretty young. I never had a moment in my life where I was attracted to men. Growing up I didn’t even know being gay was possible or existed, but I knew that I didn’t feel affection for boys like people said I should. It took some time, but eventually I realized it was because I was Gay. I grew up Catholic with a very religious father, my mother not as much as my father, and very religious aunts, uncles, and cousins. When I came out to my parents I was met with acceptance. My fathers opinion was very important to me. He does not believe gay people should be married. For him that is for man and women to come together and eventually have children, and I respect his opinion, but he also respects my relationship in return. He loves me and my partner dearly and has no issue with us being a couple as long as we don’t get married. Now here is where my issue begins. I am very happy that my family and especially my father are okay with me being gay, but something has always been missing and left a void in me. That is my relationship with God. Next to my father, I am probably the next most religious person in my family, but I feel like am I not supposed to be? Does God not want me? Does he still love me and accept me as a faithful follower even though I do not live by this part of his teachings? Am I still valid as a Catholic? It is something that has been tearing me apart. I want so much to be a part of my church and I feel so close to God, but then I read things telling me I am not allowed to. I have shed so many tears on this. I just really wanted to live a nice quite life with my partner and my faith. I respect all people’s opinions and never try to make any others around me accept my relationship, but does it really mean I am unforgivable to God?
Thank you for taking the time to read. I know a lot of people on here have serious reservations about Lgbt people and I’m really sorry if seeing this offended you. Any advice and/or opinions are truly appreciated even if they might not be what I hope to hear. God Bless you all.