Will I be able to convert before marriage?


#1

Good morning, I hope I am posting this in the correct area. A little background, I was raised Baptist and my fiance was raised Catholic. We have been together for 8 years and have a 2 1/2 year old and yes, we are living together. Our wedding is set for October 5th of this year, and I completed my last RCIA class last night.

The entire process has been a huge eye opener for me. Considering my entire parents generation was raised Catholic, but none of them are/don’t practice anymore, I was raised hearing nothing but all of the “bad” things about Catholicism and preachings about where it does/doesn’t say to do certain things. Upon completion of my RCIA course, my eyes and my heart have been opened to the religion, but I do have one major concern. Last night I was informed that there is one “minor” snag. I cannot complete the process (Confession/Confirmation) because I am “technically” living in sin. It seems my only option would be to have a quickie ceremony prior to the wedding, and this option to me is off the table. I want the first time we say our vows to be in front of our friends and family, otherwise I feel that it will take away from the authenticity of the moment.

It is very important to my fiance that our wedding ceremony be a full mass including communion, will we no longer be able to to do this if my conversion cannot be done until after the wedding? Also, since I technically will not be living with my fiance the night before the wedding (rehearsal) would it be possible to do the confession/confirmation that night? Sorry for being so long winded, but I am deeply concerned about this.


#2

Go talk to your pastor. By appointment, not in the hand shake line after Mass.

You can make the commitment to live in continence betwwen now and your marriage and should be able to go to confession and receive confirmation.

I am surprised this was not addressed early in your marriage prep.

You are not "technically" living in sin, you are in fact living in sin. Turning away from our sin is a prerequisite to confession. and getting married in a civil ceremony would not erase your problem but rather compound it. As a Catholic your fiancée is bound by Catholic law on marriage. A quickie civil ceremony is invalid and just generates additional issues.


#3

[quote="jalykr, post:1, topic:329806"]
..I was raised Baptist and my fiance was raised Catholic. We have been together for 8 years and have a 2 1/2 year old and yes, we are living together. Our wedding is set for October 5th of this year, and I completed my last RCIA class last night.

Last night I was informed that there is one "minor" snag. I cannot complete the process (Confession/Confirmation) because I am "technically" living in sin.

It is very important to my fiance that our wedding ceremony be a full mass including communion, will we no longer be able to to do this if my conversion cannot be done until after the wedding? Also, since I technically will not be living with my fiance the night before the wedding (rehearsal) would it be possible to do the confession/confirmation that night?

[/quote]

Congratulations on your upcoming Sacraments of Confession, Confirmation, Holy Communion, and Holy Matrimony. What wonderful graces are awaiting you with each of these Sacraments.

Your priest will lead you on how to proceed. This is not the first time he has a couple who cohabitate and want to marry in the Church or receive other sacraments.

First know in order to make a proper confession, you must be sorry for the sins you have committed. So, to confess the sin of living as husband and wife with someone that you are not married to, means you must be sorry for those sexual sins and ready not to engage in those sins.

You and your fiancé can choose to live together without any sexual relations. There are other couples who are living together as if they are "husband and wife" who are not married and who have children together. When they realize the pain they cause our Lord because of their sexual sins, they choose to live without sexual relations until they are married.

If your fiancé is also truly sorry for the sexual sins and you begin to live without sexual relations, he can receive the Sacrament of Confession now and once again begin to receive Holy Communion. Through the Sacraments of Confession and Holy Communion, he will receive graces that can help during times of sexual temptation.

You will be truly blessed to begin your life in the Sacrament of Holy Matrimony by following God's will for all couples. Peace to you two and your precious child.


#4

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