I am going towards the full communion (I am trying to live Catholic life, but I am not Christened and I am not receiving Communion) of the Church but I have a history (of sins and lazyness) and I am taking steps to be clear and to be free from my past, I am trying to be ready to live as sin-free life as possible, but I need time to sort all this mess.
I understand that this process has 2 sides. From the one side - I can go to the instant transformation and look on the full Communion as the tool that can help me here and now. But well - while I acknowledge that full Communion can help me in my way - I also see that there are more practical than miraculous means to sort all this out. So - God can help me (and It helps), but now is time for me to work. From the other side (and this is the side, which I am taking) - it can better if I make my life as orderly as possible and then I can take the Christening and Communion with clear and orderly heart as possible.
So I am looking towards the long program of RCIA https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rite_of_Christian_Initiation_of_Adults Currently I am towards joining this program and I plan to stay in for some months or even year or more.
My question is - if I die here and now (while in journey towards RCIA or while being in RCIA and not Christened) and if I didn’t manage to make last-minute urgent Christening - then will I be able to enter in to Heaven base solely in my goog intention and efforts of good will.
Or should I consider the (unprepared) Chirstening to be of ultimate urgency?
My conscience says that I should perceive God as person and go with love. Rules are OK, but it can be worthless to stick with the rules if the rules is about hear and the heart is still being prepared.