Women - please help!


#1

I can barely attend the Mass without having to protect my sight from women with tattoos above their butt that are visable when they sit and stand because of inappropriate tops and hip hugger pants.

Women talk and carry on visiting while others try to pray.

Women seem to be the most resistant to maintaining reverence.

Of course there are many women that see this and are trying to help rein in this behavior but much more need to be done.

Yes, this comes accross as sexist and I apologize to anyone that is offended, but it is a common frustration expressed by men at men-only meetings such as CHRP, Men’s Club, KOC and such.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A MORE COMPREHENSIVE COMMUNICATION TO WOMEN TO SHAPE UP.

Your thoughts please. Do you agree, how can this be better handled.


#2

Great post, and, as a fellow man, this is an issue that I am constantly bringing up and hearing brought up at men’s groups as well. Women seem to be oblivious to the distracting effect the way they dress has on males, especially at Mass when we are trying to concentrate on God.

Women need to accept and acknowledge the incontestable fact that, like it or not, the male of the species is more visually attuned than women, especially when it concerns issues pointed out in the post above. Please be charitable to your brothers in Christ: dress modestly and encourage your daughters and others to do the same!


#3

[quote=Chuck]I can barely attend the Mass without having to protect my sight from women with tattoos above their butt that are visable when they sit and stand because of inappropriate tops and hip hugger pants.

Women talk and carry on visiting while others try to pray.

Women seem to be the most resistant to maintaining reverence.

Of course there are many women that see this and are trying to help rein in this behavior but much more need to be done.

Yes, this comes accross as sexist and I apologize to anyone that is offended, but it is a common frustration expressed by men at men-only meetings such as CHRP, Men’s Club, KOC and such.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A MORE COMPREHENSIVE COMMUNICATION TO WOMEN TO SHAPE UP.

Your thoughts please. Do you agree, how can this be better handled.
[/quote]

a thought… why not concentrate on the priest, the alter, the eucharist, your missalette, song book, the ceiling or maybe close your eyes in prayer… or move to the front pew to reduce the opportunity of seeing such… this is not to say that we all don’t share in what might be less than proper attire at church… have you ever worn jean, shorts or anything other than a suit to church?

I’m guilty… i am trying to do better… splinters and timbers my friend, splinters and timbers… :thumbsup:


#4

I agree with both of you men. I have three sons…and I am a woman. I look at the young women and some of the not so young women and find that they are not modestly dressed and wonder what effect it is having upon our sons. And, I also wonder what effect is has on our priest…

I try to dress modestly - heck - being my age, there is nothing to be immodest about! :slight_smile:

I would also set a plea - asking men to dress with more decorum…t-shirts and shorts are not very respectful attire to meet the King of Kings in, nor sloppy clothing of any sort.

Our priest has put a notice in the bulletin requesting more modest clothing…I do not see that anyone has much followed the request. I noticed one young woman - lovely as she was - with a bright pink sweater top that was off both of her shoulders. She looked lovely and she would have been right in place for a nightclub, but she looked out of place in Mass.

God Bless


#5

[quote=Fidelis]Great post, and, as a fellow man, this is an issue that I am constantly bringing up and hearing brought up at men’s groups as well. Women seem to be oblivious to the distracting effect the way they dress has on males, especially at Mass when we are trying to concentrate on God.

Women need to accept and acknowledge the incontestable fact that, like it or not, the male of the species is more visually attuned than women, especially when it concerns issues pointed out in the post above. Please be charitable to your brothers in Christ: dress modestly and encourage your daughters and others to do the same!
[/quote]

Thank you!!! To me, this is so obvious. My husband can’t understand how the man of the house allows his women to dress like that.

We were at a FHC recently and there were two families where the mother and daughter, with husband present, were dressed in slinky, spagetti-strapped mini dresses. Both mothers’ dresses were very low cut and suggestive. And this was for a special occasion in church, no less. How do they dress for the mall?

I just don’t understand it.


#6

Sorry, Chuck, but the only way to remedy this type of thing is by employing a dress-code. Good taste cannot be enforced otherwise.

Since it’s unlikely anyone is going to take a stand and implement a nation-wide Catholic Mass dress-code, the best advice would be for you to pray ahead of time for protection from distractions during Mass. Also, pray for the Church, the priests and bishops, the entire hierarchy of Church officials the world over, and for the women themselves who are dressing inappropriately that they might obtain a sense of style.
:wink:


#7

[quote=Melonie]Sorry, Chuck, but the only way to remedy this type of thing is by employing a dress-code. Good taste cannot be enforced otherwise.

Since it’s unlikely anyone is going to take a stand and implement a nation-wide Catholic Mass dress-code, the best advice would be for you to pray ahead of time for protection from distractions during Mass. Also, pray for the Church, the priests and bishops, the entire hierarchy of Church officials the world over, and for the women themselves who are dressing inappropriately that they might obtain a sense of style.
:wink:
[/quote]

For what its worth, one of the two parishes we attend has a big sign in the lobby to the effect “no shorts, no tank tops, no flip-flops, nothing that would disrespect the Lord”. I have to say that there is less baloney in terms of clothing in this church than in the other parish we attend.

So maybe the dress-code doesn’t have to come from the Vatican but from each individual pastor who has a problem in their parish.


#8

It also seems to me that the most effective method for improving the conduct of women in by the example and instruction of other women;: by mothers and by peers.

Dads and priests have to couch their words so much that the message is rarely communicated without ruffling feathers.

Do women’s meetings communicate the issue of proper conduct during mass as a topic very often or very rarely?


#9

Don’t feel badly, Chuck, we women have common frustations about men at our meetings too. :slight_smile:

Annie


#10

Know what a friend of mine did… She was at Mass w/ her teenage nephew and a young lady sat in the pew in front of them dressed in skin tight, low cut jeans.
She could see her nephew was “being bothered” by this when he asked if they could move to another pew. She told him that they were not going to move, and to stay just where he was. She then proceeded to tap the young lady on the shoulder and asked her to please move her seat since she was causing her nephew to sin by the manner of her dress… Whew! I don’t know if I would have had the guts. Just a possible remedy…:hmmm:


#11

I don’t understand it. . . I’ve heard modesty preached from the pulpit, including the priest describing certain inappropriate outfits in the congregation in detail – not pointing fingers, but anyone with eyes could see what (who) he was describing – and the next week, they’re back, dressed just the same or worse . . . I suppose they just don’t recognize that what they’re wearing could be inappropriate???


#12

It boggles my mind as well. Now there have been times that I have worn shorts, but they are dressy shorts, they hit just a few inches above the knee, and usually a very nice blouse. So people in our parish look like they are just coming in from working in their yard. :frowning:


#13

[quote=Annunciata]Know what a friend of mine did… She was at Mass w/ her teenage nephew and a young lady sat in the pew in front of them dressed in skin tight, low cut jeans.
She could see her nephew was “being bothered” by this when he asked if they could move to another pew. She told him that they were not going to move, and to stay just where he was. She then proceeded to tap the young lady on the shoulder and asked her to please move her seat since she was causing her nephew to sin by the manner of her dress… Whew! I don’t know if I would have had the guts. Just a possible remedy…:hmmm:
[/quote]

I am known to be quite gutsy…but I do not know if I could have…or would do this! Perhaps a word to the young woman after Mass might have been in order. It could be that the woman would have just gotten up and left the church…and no one should be driven out of the church. Or, the woman would not have come back if I talked to her after Mass. This is a difficult situation.

The nephew is responsible for his own actions - - I agree that the sight was making sin a lot stronger possibility, but telling the young woman that she was causing her nephew to sin is a bit of license.

Do you know what the young woman did? God Bless


#14

Ok, so since i plan on attending mass soon…here is my outfit. I have a black long sleeved shirt, not cleavage bearing alothough it is kind of tight, this is because I am very petite, but very well-endowed, iguess i could say, i can never find shirts that fit me in both areas without looking like a frumpy mess. I black skirt that goes past the knees and tall lace up platform boots (the dressiest I have Unless I want to wear my combat Dr. Martens or Flip-flops, but they are nice, not hookerish…being cash strapped, this is the best i can do… so do you think this is modest or should i save my moeny for somethign else??

In defense of the women with tattoos…if you want to be trendy, you have to almost settle for lowcut pants and high cut shirts, I try to be modest (being a modest goth is quite a task all on it’s own) but it is very difficult. Today’s fashions only allow the male XL sweatshirt to cover a body, nothing sold in malls will do that.


#15

Sometimes going to a consignment or thrift (store that sells clothes used) is a way to get good quality but low prices on clothing. They also have more modest styles as there is more than just latest style clothing. If you see women dressed modestly ask them where they bought it. They won’t mind, its a compliment to them that you want what they have :slight_smile: Also dressy sandels, low healed shoes can also be bought with less expense at these stores.


#16

[quote=chimakuni]I am known to be quite gutsy…but I do not know if I could have…or would do this! Perhaps a word to the young woman after Mass might have been in order. It could be that the woman would have just gotten up and left the church…and no one should be driven out of the church. Or, the woman would not have come back if I talked to her after Mass. This is a difficult situation.

The nephew is responsible for his own actions - - I agree that the sight was making sin a lot stronger possibility, but telling the young woman that she was causing her nephew to sin is a bit of license.

Do you know what the young woman did? God Bless
[/quote]

Dear Chimakuni,
I asked that same question. She just got up and moved to another pew.I was worried about the same thing,apparently it didn’t bother the young lady. My guess is she probably didn’t have a clue as to what my friend was really saying to her. My friend, and I love her dearly, has a tendancy to feel she has to put people in their place. I couldn’t do it, it’s not my nature. I was just offering it as a possiblity of what could be done. God Bless, Annunciata:)


#17

Is there a patron saint of ‘modest’ behavior?

Some women, believe it or not, just don’t think they are all that attractive and really can’t imagine a man thinking of them in that way. "What…me? I’m not a super model or a pin-up. I’m not Angelina Jolie. I could understand it if I looked like Nicole Kidman but I don’t think I’m all that. So I’ll wear these clothes because I’m ‘safe’. No man is going to ‘lust in his heart’ after me! I’ve actually heard women and girls joke about it. “I better pull this up or down…don’t want anyone 'lusting in his heart after me!” :rolleyes:

They don’t understand that all it takes is that a woman could be the 'girl next door…and maybe not even that!

dream wanderer


#18

[quote=Chuck]I can barely attend the Mass without having to protect my sight from women with tattoos above their butt that are visable when they sit and stand because of inappropriate tops and hip hugger pants.

Women talk and carry on visiting while others try to pray.

Women seem to be the most resistant to maintaining reverence.

Of course there are many women that see this and are trying to help rein in this behavior but much more need to be done.

Yes, this comes accross as sexist and I apologize to anyone that is offended, but it is a common frustration expressed by men at men-only meetings such as CHRP, Men’s Club, KOC and such.

THERE NEEDS TO BE A MORE COMPREHENSIVE COMMUNICATION TO WOMEN TO SHAPE UP.

Your thoughts please. Do you agree, how can this be better handled.
[/quote]

I believe you intended this to come across as sexist. What about the men who wear t-shirts and muscle shirts that show off the tattoos on their arms. Should they cover up??

Men do alot of talking or even, worse, snoring during Mass where I attend. Not to mention the screaming children (not infants, but older kids) who run down the aisle and between the pews smacking people when they’re trying to pray.

Women are not objects to be ogled at. Quit blaming women because you have no self control. You wouldn’t see the tattoos if you weren’t staring at their butts in the first place.


#19

LOL!!! :rotfl: Too funny!!

Maybe women should just stay home?

I know…you’re being serious. Both sexes are equally disruptive at Mass. When I moved to Hawai’i, I thought anything goes as far as dress at Mass, but I’ve been surprised - people here are very modest.

At my former parish, there were waaay too many men who came in baseball caps…and wore them the entire time.

I’ve learned there really is nothing you can do about the people who think hip huggers/halter tops/tank tops/baseball caps/muscle shirts/t-shirts/etc., are appropriate church attire.

Nothing except post about it at CAF. :smiley:


#20

[quote=Meghan]I believe you intended this to come across as sexist. What about the men who wear t-shirts and muscle shirts that show off the tattoos on their arms. Should they cover up??

Men do alot of talking or even, worse, snoring during Mass where I attend. Not to mention the screaming children (not infants, but older kids) who run down the aisle and between the pews smacking people when they’re trying to pray.

Women are not objects to be ogled at. Quit blaming women because you have no self control. You wouldn’t see the tattoos if you weren’t staring at their butts in the first place.
[/quote]

Astonishing! The thread addresses problems with womens’ dress. Perhaps you might consider starting one about men…they are as much slobs as their sisters. Yes, they should cover up.

But the notion of looking at womens’ “butts” and seeing “tattoos” (only possible if the former were exposed) in church is really too much. Next we’ll be asked to look elsewhere when someone pisses in the asile! Folks, get a grip on yourselves.


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