I offer these words, slightly edited, from a priest I know very well, and whom God has given quite a way with words. These words were addressed to me a couple of years ago after my "Jenga Mass" meltdown. I have not always abided by them nor even remembered them, but I have just come across them again, so I share them with you all, especially those who often contribute to our lively (and sometimes ill-mannered) discussions about liturgical praxis.
When we encounter people or situations that trouble us, it does require discernment as to how to proceed. As you indicated, it is good to try to work things out directly after prayer and reflection. I'm also reminded of a holy card I have with a John XXIII quote: "See everything, overlook a great deal, improve a little." I take that not as a recipe for indifference or inaction, but as a moderating and realistic approach to the fallen nature of life around us, and our own imperfect abilities and response.
As I look at some of the priests, religious, and lay people (usually of "another generation") I sometimes share some of the frustrations and observations you have made. I think I would simply offer this: it is better to deal with what is observable, than with seeking to determine motivation in others. I remember reading spiritual guidance (I forget where) that we are often more prone to speculating about or presuming motivations in others, and reluctant to examine motivations in ourselves. I think that many of the "older" ones we come in contact with were taught differently, and went through difference experiences, that shaped their approach to liturgy or theology. It is possible for us to disagree, even on substantial matters, without it meaning that the other person has a personal agenda, or disrespect for God or the Church. They can be honestly of a different opinion, and even honestly be mistaken or in error.
I guess I'd ask myself (as I sometimes do) what my goal is: to show I am right, or to lead another to conversion? It gets complicated, doesn't it?
The Cliff's Notes version comes from the blog of Father Z, from the mouth of Augustine Cardinal Mayer: "At a certain point we must stop arguing and try to open their hearts."